Mourning after the death of his father. What to do within a year after the funeral

The funeral ceremony is underway, the obligatory days of remembrance are ending, and those close to the deceased begin to ask questions:

• Mourning. How long is mourning for the deceased?
• Would it be appropriate to appear in light clothing in public?
• Is it possible to visit various events?
• How long is mourning?
• After what time can you remarry a widow or marry a widowed spouse?

We live in a society and therefore external observance of traditions is very important. Below are different opinions on this account. Which point of view to adhere to is up to you.

How long does mourning last

Different cultures have different times for expressing their grief. Also interesting are the instructions on how to wear mourning.

Ancient Greece

AT ancient Greece A widow was required to wear black clothes all her life. Only if she remarried, then she could change her attire for another. The men wore black bandages on their sleeves and did not shave for 40 days.

Ancient Rome

AT Ancient Rome mourning for children was established in accordance with the number of years they lived. If the child was 7 at the time of death, then the parents mourned for 7 months. Maximum term considered 10 months. After the widow could already get married, and close relatives took off their black clothes.

Medieval France

In medieval France, the dowager queen was not supposed to leave the rooms where she heard the sad news for a year. noble ladies it was also prescribed for the first 6 weeks to be on an empty marital bed as a sign of expressing one's sadness. If a sister grieved for her brother, then only the first 9 days she spent in bed, and the rest of the time, up to 6 weeks, she just sat on black matter. For men, etiquette was not so harsh. It was enough for them to tie a black bandage on their arm and wear it for six months.

Ancient China and Korea

In China and Korea, the period of mourning for a close one reached 3 years. During this time, it was possible to wear clothes made of unbleached canvas, and at breakfast they put an additional device for the deceased.

Japan

In Japan, the first 49 days after death are considered the most important. Relatives sincerely pray that the soul of the deceased will find peace and be reborn in the Pure Land. Also in the country rising sun It is customary to mourn the death of the emperor or members of his family. National mourning lasts a year.

How much mourning is worn depending on confessional affiliation

The most stringent is jewish mourning. It is divided into 4 periods:

• Onen from death to burial. The actions of relatives are aimed solely at organizing proper send-offs to the other world.
• Shiva the first week after death. A number of prohibitions are imposed on household members: cutting nails, leaving the house, studying the Torah, working, washing, wearing clean clothes or leather shoes.
• Shloshim - from the 8th to the 30th day. It is already allowed to leave the house, apply cosmetics to women, and men to trim their beards and mustaches.
• The fourth period It is customary to observe only for deceased parents. It lasts until the anniversary of death.

Buddhist traditions It is prescribed to wear mourning for parents and close relatives for 100 days. If the relative is distant, they mourn for the past 49 days. At this time they put on dresses gray color various shades.

In Islamic countries the behavior of women in the first time after the death of a spouse is strictly regulated. They are not allowed to wear jewelry, do their hair, dye their hair, use scented grooming products, and spend the night outside the home. Acceptable colors in clothing: white, purple, black and dark green. Mourning for her husband lasts 4 lunar months and 10 days. For other relatives - only 3 days. Men, as a sign of mourning, do not remove their headdress during the burial ceremony.

Orthodox priests do not like the words "death", "dead". Most often in speech they replace them with “assumption”, “deceased”. The deceased until the 40th day is called "newly deceased." During this period, the one who left the mortal earth appears before the Lord, and only the prayers of the living can tip the scales when choosing where to go: to Hell or Paradise. Because in Christianity strict mourning lasts exactly 40 days. It is customary to express one's sadness about the loss not by moaning or crying, but by prayers, appeals to God, reflections on the frailty of life and memories of the pious deeds of the deceased in eternal sleep. After this time, it is allowed to remove the mourning bandage from the head. However, if you feel that grief is still crowding in your heart, then you can continue to wear a black scarf or scarf until the end of the year. The widow decides for herself when she will remove the mourning - after 2 years or immediately after the funeral meal.

Mourning for the deceased in our time

In modern times, mourning is determined more by the religious beliefs and traditions of the region.

The observance of religious canons in our days is not so reverent. If in countryside still adhere to the old foundations, then city ​​life imposes its own limitations. For example, the dress code adopted in many offices does not include the presence of a black armband. This can turn off buyers or potential customers.

If it is impossible to explicitly mourn for a deceased relative, you can decide this problem in the following ways:

Refuse external paraphernalia . For the deceased, it is more important not what others think about you, but what you really think about the one who left you forever.

Wear a black headscarf or ribbon outside of work . Quite difficult, but possible for purposeful people.

Replace the color of sorrow . Along with black, white and red also symbolize sadness and grief from an irreparable loss. The Karakalpak people wear blue clothes during mourning. Muslim woman can wear a purple or dark green dress.

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Instruction

In fact mourning- this is a system of rules and prohibitions that family members and relatives of the deceased must comply with. Duration of wearing mourning but it can vary: 3 days, 9 days, 40 days, 6 months, a year, several years, and even a lifetime mourning. This period depends on the degree of proximity of a person to. The strictest and longest mourning observed in relation to the husband or wife, children and parents.

The color of mourning is black. However, today the black color has already lost its sad purpose. Stylists have long brought it into fashion because of the effect of visually slimming. However, to emphasize appearance any detail or item of dark-colored wardrobe the recent death of a loved one is very important for psychological recovery. Generally, women wear mourning head or long dresses, men - black shirts.

According to folk tradition, up to 40 days the soul of the deceased is close to relatives and home. This understanding of death left its mark on the character mourning a. Even if the relatives did not experience strong grief, they should lead a humble lifestyle, show sadness in everything, pray hard, limit themselves with other people, and avoid any manifestations of joy and happiness. In Rus', it was forbidden to sing, eat sweet dishes, drink wine and go to festivities.

Fasting in period mourning but it is observed not only in, but also in many other religions. In addition, at the memorial meal, as a rule, only simple, traditional food is allowed, including special memorial dishes: jelly, cabbage soup or ear, and kutya.

True believers and grieving Christians after all should strive not for external observances. mourning customs, but to inner humility, being in fervent prayer for a dead person. If you were baptized, you should order a magpie - a commemoration at 40 liturgies, be sure to visit the church on the 9th and 40th day from the date of death and serve a memorial service, pray daily to the soul. If the deceased was not baptized, only home prayer is permissible. In memory of the deceased, good deeds should be done, alms should be given to all those who ask.

Sometimes fastidious fashion forces girls to wear clothes that distort their natural image. They just stop looking feminine. Whether it's a handkerchief on his head. With him, the girl's face immediately becomes prettier and prettier.

Traditions

No wonder grandmothers and great-grandmothers loved this headdress so much. They wore chintz, woolen shawls and the beauty of beauties - downy shawls that looked so harmonious with natural fur coats. A down scarf is not only beautiful in itself, but it is also practical to use and very warm. Scarves perfectly protected from the winter cold and cold lovely heads for many centuries in a row, not knowing an alternative.

In the early Orthodox era, according to tradition, any girl had to cover her head with a scarf when she went out in public. There were a large number of varieties of scarves: from small ones, daily, to those that could be covered from the shoulders to the knees. They were worn both on the shoulders and on the head. Each woman and girl with an ordinary scarf created her own, unique image.

« There goes a girl beautiful, carries a downy kerchief on her shoulders. The guys look around at her, they want to say a good word - they don’t dare, ”wrote the Russian poet N. Koltsov.

And so much has been written about the beautiful and varied colors and patterns on women's scarves. artistic research, which is impossible to enumerate. From scarves, these colors and patterns spread all over the world. And now they are returning back, along with scarves, to the use of Russian girls and women, who only become more beautiful with them on their heads.

Embodied femininity

The new is the forgotten old. And truly new is something that, in principle, cannot become obsolete. The same can be said about the usual scarf. And there is no need to even talk about a downy scarf. He never went out of fashion, because a downy scarf, its beauty and warmth, is simply beyond all fashion trends.

“Fashion exists for clothes of dubious beauty,” said one rather famous artist- And things beautiful natural beauty, come back into fashion when dubious beauty bothers.

That woman or girl who creates her own unique beautiful feminine image cannot help but have beautiful scarves with different patterns and different colors in her wardrobe. A warm downy shawl should be a must, because in a composition with a fur coat it looks so harmonious that no hat or cap can compare with it. And in the off-season, any woman will fit a large warm wool scarf with autumn or spring patterns. Scarves provide an unusually wide scope for women's imagination.

Instruction

Follow the customs of the country in which you live. When appointed mourning and at the state level in connection with a large number people observe a minute of silence in respect for the dead and solidarity with the rest of the country's population in expressing condolences to their families. State will be half-mast, and entertainment TV programs cancelled.

Wear black clothes with or a friend. Deep mourning implies that all clothes on you must be black, and with the floor mourning It is not allowed to wear only one black item, such as a dress or headscarf.

Observe mourning right after . Duration mourning but it depends on the degree of closeness to you of the deceased. For example, after the death of a spouse, it is necessary to observe mourning within a year, and those who have lost a spouse must be in mourning e six months. They grieve for their parents for a year, from less than three months to six months.

Refrain from entertainment and attending holidays, marriage during mourning a. You should not arrange magnificent celebrations, have fun, sing and dance. Do not deny yourself communication. If you feel that it is hard for you, feel the need to talk about your loss, cry, then do not hesitate to express your emotions.

Pray for the deceased, fervently and with all your heart, if you are a believer. In addition to external attributes mourning ah, this important condition compliance mourning a. If the deceased was baptized, order a magpie, and on the ninth and fortieth days after his death, a memorial service should be served. Do not forget to subsequently mention the name he received during the rite of baptism in prayers for.

When thinking about the laws that must be observed in the army, cases of hazing between military personnel (simply "hazing") and desertion, replicated by the media, inevitably pop up in my head. Moreover, the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is just the tip of the iceberg in a huge array of regulations that military personnel should be guided by in everyday life. Russian army.

Instruction

Start by studying Section VI of the Federal Law of March 28, 1998 No. 53-FZ “On military duty and”. It gives detailed information on the term of service of military personnel, on the procedure for taking the military oath and, most importantly, on military ranks, which I strongly recommend to learn in advance, so as not to be branded as a “brake” in the army, who cannot quickly master elementary things.

Read the federal law dated May 27, 1998 No. 76-FZ "On the status of military personnel". It explains your rights and obligations during the course military service, as well as liability in case of violation of these obligations.

The process of passing military service is regulated by 3 Charters (the Charter of service on ships of the Navy still applies).
1. The Charter of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation is the basic legal act regulating everyday life and activities of military personnel in a military unit in order to maintain internal order and military discipline;
2. The disciplinary charter of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation defines the concept of "military discipline", regulates the duties of military personnel for its observance, types of rewards and punishments, and also prescribes the procedure for filing applications,. In particular, after reading this charter, you will find out for what offenses you can be sent to a guardhouse;
3. The Charter of the garrison, commandant and guard services of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation defines the purpose, organization and performance of guard, commandant and garrison services, the rights and obligations of military personnel performing these services.

Do not forget to read Chapter 33 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, especially Art. 335 “Violation of the statutory rules of relations between military personnel in the absence of subordination relations between them”, Art. 337 “Unauthorized abandonment of a unit or place of service”, and also Art. 338 “Desertion”. As shown, these are the most common offenses committed by military personnel. Therefore, the realization of what you may face, in your opinion, an innocent prank like AWOL, can save you, for example, from punishment in the form of detention in a disciplinary military unit.

Be sure to read about the current informal rules. Find friends who served in the army and ask them to tell you how everything really works there. Look for the forums served in the army and ask them questions that interest you. Remember, experience will not replace hundreds of circulars and regulations, and as practice shows, it often does not comply with the provisions of regulatory legal acts.

It is believed that the deceased mother and father visit the dreams of their children in order to help them, prompt, guide them on the true path. Dreams in which a person hugs his now deceased parents are considered auspicious.

Seeing dead parents in a dream. Miller's dream book

Gustav Miller reports that now-deceased parents, dreaming in a warm and cozy atmosphere, symbolize well-being. If you dreamed about how a father or mother scolds a person in a dream, in reality this may mean disapproval on their part. Apparently, the dreamer is doing something wrong. Talking in a dream with deceased parents - to help in reality.

Gustav Miller divides all dreams about deceased parents into two groups: the first group - dreams that occur with living parents, the second group - dreams that occur after their true death. In principle, Miller sees nothing wrong in both cases. On the contrary, dreams about deceased parents that occur when mom and dad are now alive speak of their longevity.

Dead parents in a dream. Freud's dream book

Sigmund Freud calls such dreams symbols of human regrets about their missed opportunities, about any memories and about past successes. If the dreamer sees that his parents have died, while in reality they are healthy, this may indicate the subconscious desire of the sleeping person to die. Freud justifies such a cruel interpretation: apparently, once the parents prevented the dreamer from carrying out his plans, for which he was very offended by them.

Dead parents in a dream. Dream interpretation of the XXI century

According to these interpretations, to see dead parents in a dream is to wealth and happiness. If the father is dreaming now, losses are coming in reality: the dreamer may lose his inheritance. Talking in a dream with a deceased father - to the correct understanding and rethinking of spiritual values. There is no need to argue in a dream with your parents, especially with your dad, as this can lead to a decline in business.

See in a dream dead mother- to a warning against rash acts in reality. Dead mothers most often come to their sons in a dream to dissuade them from some conceived dubious deeds that can go sideways for them. In addition, in a dream, a mother symbolizes changes for the better, but sometimes she can dream of a serious illness of a dreamer or before his own death.

Deceased parents. Dream Interpretation of the World

The interpreters of this dream book say that such dreams warn of impending danger. Need to be more careful with strangers. Talking in a dream with deceased parents - to receive some important news in reality. Swearing in a dream with the now deceased mother and father - to boredom for them in reality. The dreamer, apparently, feels guilty before them. A bad dream is one in which the deceased parents extend their hand to the dreamer, calling for them.

Any nation strives to preserve the traditions of its ancestors. This is the basis for further spiritual development nation. AT modern society keeping traditions that have been handed down from generation to generation becomes a difficult task.

For hundreds of years, the Russian people have accumulated invaluable experience, which has found its expression in traditions, beliefs, and rituals. The change of pagan religion to Christian influenced the worldview of the Slavs. However, paganism harmoniously merged over time, forming the most important layer of Russian culture. Some traditions have been transformed, while retaining the Proto-Slavic basis. The observance of the traditions of the ancestors is necessary condition for procreation and spiritual development. Most of the moral categories of Russians are nourished by the centuries-old experience of the Russian people.

Pagan traditions of the Russian people

Pagan beliefs are considered the most ancient and stable for the Slavs. Mostly survived to this day calendar rites associated with the celebration of preserved pagan holidays. For example, burning an effigy of Maslenitsa, caroling, weaving wreaths for Ivan Kupala, wedding customs, etc. They appeared thanks to the agricultural cycle of the ancient Slavs. Compliance with holiday customs and rituals allows you to strengthen family ties and convey unique knowledge future generation.

Each clan had its own sacred animal, which protected the tribe from evil spirits. Reached our days mythological image bear, which has become one of the symbols of Russia. bear in Slavic mythology was considered a protector from evil forces and the patron of the family. Therefore, many peasants had a talisman-amulet from a bear's paw at home. The horse was also a revered animal, since most peoples led a nomadic lifestyle. The horse was a sacred animal, and the presence of a horseshoe at home is still associated in the minds of Russians with a powerful protective effect. Brownie deserves special attention. This is the main guard of the house and its owner. The brownie had to be appeased by any means, since an angry brownie could leave the house. Our ancestors did not think of maintaining harmony in the family without a brownie.

Christian traditions of the Russian people

Christianity laid the foundation for the spiritual development of the Slavs. It may seem that today Russians do not observe all Orthodox traditions. However, it all depends on the conscious choice of a person. Christian traditions associated primarily with the moral categories of goodness, justice, forgiveness, gratitude. These are the very commandments that Jesus bequeathed to mankind. Believers try to keep them in strict modern conditions. In festive rituals, Christian and pagan traditions are closely intertwined, therefore modern man hard to separate one. One way or another, the observance of the traditions of the ancestors is an important component internal state person. Thus, an invisible, but very powerful bond of generations is created.

Sources:

• Traditions of our ancestors

Funeral after funeral

Commemoration is carried out on the third, ninth and fortieth day, since at the indicated time the soul of the deceased appears before the Lord. For the first three days after death, the soul roams the earth, visiting places where the deceased committed sins or righteous deeds. From the third to the ninth day, the soul wanders among the paradise. From the ninth to the fortieth day, she is in hell, watching the torment of sinners. On the fortieth day, the question of determining the whereabouts of the soul in the afterlife is finally resolved.

On the third day, a commemoration is held in honor of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. For 9 days, a wake is held in honor of 9 angelic ranks. On the fortieth day, a commemoration is held in memory of the Ascension of Jesus Christ.

The first commemoration can be visited by everyone who was present at the farewell at the cemetery. Wake for 9 days is visited only by relatives, friends and relatives of the deceased. Sorokovyny can be visited by everyone who has expressed a desire to commemorate the deceased.

The commemoration of the deceased is also carried out on the anniversary of death, on the days of earthly birth and on name days. The Church has established special days of remembrance - ecumenical requiems:

Saturday before Meatfare Week (Meatfare Saturday), two weeks before Lent - is celebrated as a commemoration of all the dead sudden death- during floods, earthquakes, wars;

Trinity Saturday - on the fortieth day after Easter - for all Christians;

Dimitrov Saturday (the day of Dmitry Thessalonica) - a week before November 8, established by Dmitry Donskoy in memory of those who died on the Kulikovo field;

Second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent;

Radonitsa (Tuesday of St. Thomas Week) when cemeteries are visited for the first time after Easter, where visitors carry colored eggs and where they tell the dead the news of the resurrection of Christ.

By decree of Catherine 11 of 1769 (the time of the war with the Turks and Poles), the all-Russian commemoration of all the dead soldiers is carried out on the day of the beheading of John the Baptist (September 11).

It is not customary to appear at the wake without an invitation, and although it is permissible to come to the house of the deceased and express condolences to relatives, you should not try to sit down at the table if you have not been invited to share a meal. Men should come to the wake without a headdress, while women, on the contrary, need to have some kind of scarf, shawl or other item covering their heads. Being in the house of the deceased, you do not need to speak loudly, laugh. At the commemoration, the place where the deceased used to sit is not occupied, the table is served additional device put the knife and fork on the plate. Stacks of vodka and black bread are not needed. Often (but not everywhere) the first is served first, and the presence of alcoholic beverages is not prerequisite. The canonical attributes of the funeral feast are: kutya, pancakes, jelly, milk. We held a commemoration Orthodox people to express their respect for the deceased and saw them off at the table with prayers for the repose of the deceased. After reading the prayers, the guests sat down at the table and prayed for the deceased before each meal. If the commemoration coincided with the weekdays of Great Lent, then due to the extreme severity of fasting, it is better to transfer them to Saturday or Sunday.

Mourning

Mourning itself is not a set of mandatory measures. Mourning - reflects outwardly deep psychological experiences on the occasion of the loss of a relative, friend.

During mourning, a person restricts himself from participating in entertainment and entertainment activities. Mourning involves wearing dark-colored clothes; light-colored clothes are not worn in mourning.

A person who wears mourning should not act as an organizer of entertainment events. Mourning vestments can only be removed during sleep. In fact, a person decides for himself how long to wear mourning, although in some religions, for example, in the Jewish tradition, the terms of mourning are strictly fixed. In general, mourning can be divided into several types:

Everyday mourning when it is customary to mourn for all the dead for a forty-day period.

Mourning for close relatives: brothers, sisters, cousins, when it is customary to wear mourning for three months.

Mourning for grandfathers, grandmothers, wives is worn for six months.

« deep mourning "- mourning for parents, which can be worn for a year or more.
The deepest mourning - from one to two years - was to be observed by the widow. Earlier at this time, she was only wearing mostly black clothes, there were no jewelry at all, and a black scarf was on her head. After that, other colors were introduced: dark purple, purple, blue or dark gray.

Mourning clothes were dark, black or of blue color, in which shades of red were completely excluded. Often not new. Currently, in the absence of suitable clothes, headgear in the wardrobe, they buy black dress(suit), head scarf. Previously, during mourning, they did not even try to take special care of their clothes, because, according to folk beliefs, careful care for her was a manifestation of disrespect for the memory of the deceased. Women during the period of mourning must cover their heads with a scarf.

There was a widespread custom during this period not to cut hair, not to make elegant puffy hairstyles. In general, in Rus', the external signs of mourning had to be observed longer, as a rule, by women, and men could wear black, dark-colored clothes only on commemoration days, which was not condemned in public consciousness even villagers.

Signs of mourning in the house remained for a long time, depending on the way of life. In most cases - up to 40 days, and also - up to a year.
It was not accepted to participate in various entertainments, holidays, gambling.
But, if the wedding of one of the relatives fell during the period of mourning, then on the wedding day the mourning outfit was removed, but the next day it was put on again.

It was not customary to go to public and entertainment places during deep mourning, even the appearance in the theater was considered acceptable only after complete withdrawal mourning.

In modern conditions, as a rule, such a long time of mourning, as before, is not observed, especially in the city. All this is individual and in each case depends on a number of circumstances.

Wearing mourning, one should not show boundless grief, demonstrating it to others. Everything should be done with dignity, since the meaning of mourning lies not only in observing external decorum, signs state of mind of a person, but also in the fact that it is a time of deepening a person into himself, a time of reflection on the meaning of life.

If the house exhibits photograph of the deceased, then a mourning ribbon is placed on it. The ribbon is removed after the 40th day.
Now many believe that the photo should be removed at this time. But before family portraits calmly hung on the walls, and photographs of loved ones were hung in a conspicuous place, creating original collages from them. Probably, what is right, everyone determines for himself.

A day of mourning, unfortunately, happens in every family. How to properly organize a farewell to the deceased, how to adequately survive the loss loved one- these questions concern everyone who is faced with death. Each religion has recommendations to help relatives see the deceased in last way. But there is also a certain mourning etiquette observed regardless of beliefs.

Mourning: general remarks

The word mourning comes from the German word trauern, meaning "to mourn". Mourning is the external form of mourning for the dead. Mourning can be personal or public.

At this time, people are instructed to perform certain actions: refuse to publicly display positive emotions, wear clothes of a special color, observe a number of restrictions in everyday life and habits.

At the state level, a day of mourning is declared if any natural or technological disaster, terrorist attack or accident.

In the same way, they can honor the death of a prominent political or public figure. Most often, state mourning lasts several days.

Personal mourning lasts much longer. A person himself chooses the period during which he indulges in grief.

Mourning in today's Russia

How to observe mourning modern world What traditions to rely on, you ask. Of course, globalization now makes it possible to borrow rites from different cultures, you can take an example from the West or the East. But most often people turn to the original tradition, characteristic of their country.

Customs in Russia are based on Orthodox canons. According to church tradition, deep mourning should be observed according to:

• parents;
• children;
• grandfather;
• grandmother;
• spouses;
• brother
• sister.

Most long mourning prescribed by the church for widows - two years. The period of mourning for a wife, parents and children is one year.

It is customary to mourn a brother or sister for four months, an uncle, aunt and cousins ​​- three.

Secular traditions are somewhat different from church ones. Thus, the widow is required to wear mourning for only a year. The same period is allotted for mourning for parents. For other close relatives (grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister) they grieve for six months.

It is important to remember that the mourning etiquette prescribed by society can change depending on the circumstances.

AT last years many people generally refuse to publicly display their grief. Every person has the right to mourning, but how much to wear it and for whom is a personal matter.

Mourning Rules

Death always comes unexpectedly. Often the relatives of the deceased are lost and do not know what to do and how to be in this situation. Mourning etiquette partly makes life easier for relatives in the first time after their loss. Simple and understandable recommendations that regulate all areas of life make it easier to survive the death of a loved one and adapt to a new situation.

First of all, let's decide what is supposed to be done in the first days after a person's death. Close relatives need to notify all relatives and friends of the deceased about the sad event.

It is considered proper to come to say goodbye to the deceased, even if you have not received a personal invitation. After all, relatives in their grief can easily forget about someone. If you were in a strained relationship with the deceased, then you need to come to the funeral to show that hostility is broken by death.

If you cannot attend the funeral, although you live in the same city as the deceased and his family, you must apologize to the relatives.

The reasons for the absence from the farewell ceremony should be weighty enough so that the relatives of the deceased are not offended by the inattention.

Relatives and friends of the deceased person living in other cities are notified in writing. If they cannot come to say goodbye, they should send their condolences and express how dear the deceased was to them.

The funeral rite prescribes a special behavior for all relatives and friends. So, next to the deceased, it is considered indecent to talk loudly and discuss issues not related to death. It is unacceptable to discuss news, work affairs or joke. Too obvious manifestation of grief is also condemned. It is assumed that on the day of mourning, all those who come share similar feelings. It is inappropriate to talk a lot about your condolences to relatives or about your love for the deceased. By doing this, you only risk inflaming the wounds of loved ones.

The memory of the deceased is celebrated after nine days from the moment of death, followed by forties and then a year.

What to wear to a funeral

Funeral etiquette suggests special form clothes. In our tradition, the color of mourning is black. Men usually wear a black suit with a light or dark shirt for the mourning ceremony. It is acceptable to replace the shirt with a turtleneck.

Both men and women must wear closed clothing.

Festive decorations, glitter and bright decor at a funeral look indecent. On the head it is desirable to wear:

• black scarf;
• hat;
• scarf.

If a parent does not know how to dress a child for a farewell ceremony, then it is worth remembering that the same rules apply for children's clothes as for adults. Let's make a reservation right away, mourning etiquette admits that very young children may not be present at parting with distant relatives or acquaintances.

How long does mourning for relatives last?

Quite often, the relatives of the deceased are concerned about the question of how long the mourning lasts. The period of mourning is proportional to the degree of kinship. It should also be remembered that this entire period is divided into two equal parts: mourning, when the restrictions imposed are especially strong, and semi-mourning, designed to gradually adapt a person to everyday life.

The deepest mourning is for her husband.

For a year (or two years), a woman not only avoids bright colors in clothes, she also changes her behavior. In particular, the widow is prohibited from attending any recreational activities and remarry. After six months, a woman can change strict black dresses for clothes dark colors. It is acceptable to use white elements. But it is better to refrain from cosmetics and jewelry for the entire period of mourning. It is interesting that spirits can be used during this period. Tradition does not forbid it.

So women have to grieve long enough. Now let's see how much mourning men who have lost their wife wear. Oddly enough, a widower wears mourning for six months. Accordingly, three months - deep mourning, three more - semi-mourning. After six months, a man can remarry and return to his normal life.

Children wear mourning for their parents throughout the year. At the same time, the color of the clothes gradually changes from black to lighter tones.

It is customary to wear mourning for children, as well as for grandparents, for six months. However, it happens that mothers who have lost their children wear mourning all their lives.

We especially note that children under the age of 12 can wear mourning only for their parents, grandparents.

For whomever you grieve, you should remember: mourning for the deceased is not only external attributes, but also special way of life. It is assumed that at this time a person thinks about the eternal. It is necessary to observe restraint, do good deeds in memory of the deceased, give alms and pray (if you are a religious person). The day of mourning is a time when a person thinks about himself, his loved ones and about the meaning of life.

Mourning in modern city often difficult: the dress code at work, life circumstances and much more often force the relatives of the deceased to refuse to wear black things.

How many days to wear dark, of course, you decide. But remember, sometimes a temporary rejection of familiar things helps to deeply realize your loss and survive the pain.