As a child, I was the golden child. Even in kindergarten, everything was always perfect for me: I made the bed myself, went to bed and woke up before anyone else, was very obedient in everything. Only one caveat - she fought with the boy in order to sit at the same desk with him.
In the yard, I liked to walk with the girls - we played Barbie. All boyish games - war games or football - I did not like. On the contrary, they built halabudas with the girls, gave concerts to their grandmothers. It was like this: they sat in the yard, we brought the player, turned on the music, danced, sang for them and collected 10 kopecks.
There was one case when I tried to play war games with the boys, then they loaded me with a machine gun in the head. I ran home with tears and said: “I will sue him, call the police.” So our friendship didn't work out.
Of course, they tried to teach me to play with the boys, but I was adamant. I sat at home, sewed clothes for dolls and that was enough for me. I only did this when dad was at work so that he would not see - I did not want him to swear. Then all my classes were approved by my grandmother and I hid only from my father.
There was another case. My girlfriend had a wig, we came to her, dressed up. I said that I dress Philip Kirkorov - I had black long hair. But I called myself, of course, Philip Kirkorov, but in my head I understood that I was not Philip, but some kind of female star. Then I painted my eyes with a black pencil and said that I was a rocker. Rockers paint their eyes! So I tried to draw attention to it, they say, these are all jokes and I'm normal.
I also wore my mother's and grandmother's things, heels. And at 14 she went to our local market and bought her first heels. I walked around the house in them, studied. My knees were trembling, but I continued, because I understood that it would come in handy for me. And it came in handy. Now I run on any platform and any heel - from 12 am to 6 am I can dance in such shoes.
About family
At first, my reincarnation was a shock for my relatives. However, I prepared my grandmother and father in advance: I talked about gays, showed films, although I myself did not understand what was happening to me.
When I started taking hormones, the family began to notice and understand what was happening to me, they asked me to stop, my grandmother was hysterical. The situation escalated especially when they found a pack of hormones with me, and there was an instruction with terrible side effects thrombosis, cancer and sudden death. This made everyone cry and forced me to throw away the pills.
When I started painting, my family was against it. I was relentless. Still, youthful minimalism took its toll, so I started doing makeup.
My family did not wish me anything bad, on the contrary, they helped and advised me. But I understand this fact only now, and then, in that situation, I thought in a completely different way. Rose-colored glasses did not allow me to assess the situation, I was constantly stressed, snapped, insulted. It got to the point that I told my grandmother that she would not see me again, because I would jump out of the window. But now we call her every day in the morning and in the evening.
The hardest part was with my dad. For a long time he could not reconcile himself. Over time, of course, I realized that now everything is fine with us. We call each other, I show him the photos, I tell him everything.
About hormones
My decision to take hormones was a deliberate one. Moreover, I did not do it alone. I had a virtual pen pal (it was fashionable and normal at the time).
Once, for the first time, we decided to go buy hormones. It was insanely scary, because we found all the information about this on the Internet. We had birth control pills with no special purpose.
We were very afraid to drink, but we did it together. Moreover, we were afraid to die, I was afraid that the heart would stop. But in vain: everything went like clockwork, and after three months my breasts began to grow, it was unexpected. I remember: I had such small nipples, but when the breasts began to grow, the nipples began to grow and I did not understand what was happening. Moreover, the chest hurt, as during menstruation. When I accidentally caught my chest on something at home, I thought that I would die from pain.
About suicide attempts and operations
The transition process itself took place after two suicide attempts. The first attempt was after moving to Kyiv. I didn’t have enough money for anything, and I realized that I didn’t want anything anymore, that I was tired. Then I went home, turned on the tap, filled the bathroom, lay down and did the job. But then they saved me - just someone opened the door and carried me out. After that, I was at home under my grandmother's care for a long time.
The second time, too, I decided that I was tired of everything. I didn’t know how much money I would use to do these operations, I didn’t understand anything, I didn’t have knowledgeable acquaintances. The second time it was pills, but they failed to poison - the next day I woke up with severe poisoning and an incredible headache. For three whole days I could not get out of bed. I was like in some virtual reality, constant buzzing in the ears.
Then one came into my life an interesting man who helped make my dream come true - to become normal beautiful woman. I enlarged my lips beautiful hair I went to beauty salons. And, of course, she did all the operations that she had dreamed of for so long, enlarged her breasts.
In search of information and doctors helped me a large number of people: ordinary girls, gays, trans people and so on.
I have never regretted and never will regret having a sex change operation. Of course, there was a long recovery process, all this time we communicated with our parents via Skype and began to get closer. After that, I radically changed my life - I no longer walked so much, stopped doing bad things.
But I advise you not to rush and think about whether this is really necessary or is it a tribute to fashion. Now it is not a problem to return everything back, but you will simply spend time, health and strength on this. So listen to yourself and your true feelings.
About choosing a name
It is difficult to say why I chose the name Julia. I always thought that I was Julia. In addition, I really liked the singer Yulia Volkova then, she probably inspired me.
As for my nickname on Instagram - Geltsman, everything is simple here. This is the name of my old friend, which I really liked. But now I like my last name - Mochalova. I am the pride of the city of Lubny.
About accepting yourself
As for my body, I don't want to change anything. From this side I feel complete harmony, my sexuality. With the body we are friends! If we are not talking about appearance, then, of course, I want changes. I do not want to stand still, I want to develop and learn more.
About fame and the show "Supermodel-Ukrainian"
I got into the "party" when I started to get acquainted with bloggers, and they introduced me to other people - that's how it all went, started spinning. They somehow “promoted” me and I got into the program “Speak Ukraine”, then on ICTV, then on “ New channel And so my television life began.
On the show "Supermodel in Ukrainian", in addition to popularity, I gained experience. Posing skills, defile, moral and physical endurance. I'm working on difficult shoots now and I won't bat an eyelid. Some photographers are surprised, they say, how it doesn’t hurt you, it’s not cold. And I’m fine, we already had this on our “models”. Of course, after the show on the catwalk, I easily do a good defile: I know how to turn my face so that the light falls well, and you turn out to be a beauty. And so nothing more.
About tattoos and modeling career
Her modeling career ended before it even started. Tattoos put an end to her.
I got a tattoo in St. Petersburg at the age of 17. Then I didn't think about modeling career, did not think about the video, about the TV set. “Ukraine is speaking” was enough for me: I thought that I had told the whole country about myself in vain, I was afraid that I would not be able to find a normal man, because now everyone knows who I am.
Now I do not regret that I have a tattoo. Why not? Yes, perhaps because of this I did not build a modeling career. But there are other hobbies that you can indulge in, such as making videos.
My first show at UFW was right after Supermodels. I went to three shows: at Rybalko, Zalevsky and opened. A couple of times I was even removed from shows because of tattoos and large breasts.
Somehow the agency told me: “If you want to try, go to Milan, go to auditions, you are not our format.” Well, it didn't fit and ok. Although I struggled for a very long time, I said that I wanted to walk the catwalk. Yes, I went to UFW, yes, I took a picture, but it's not cool at all.
For me, modeling was like a hobby. I just left with nothing to do. Already 1.5 years have passed since "Models", but I have not earned millions. Model shows at UFW cost UAH 200 each. You come at 11 am and sit there until 9 pm - I don't think it costs 200 UAH. Of course, it's good if you go to or Zalevsky's - they pay normally. If you leave four designers a day, you will get up to two thousand. But if you do a fashion show with small unknown designers, you get 200 UAH for the show. Some do not even pay - I even went to such shows, but then I realized that it was not worth it.
About dreams and profession
I have a cousin with whom we communicated closely and we had shared dreams. He said that he would be a businessman, but he would be a chef, and he would come to my restaurant for lunch. Later, I realized that I wanted to learn other professions - for example, a stylist. And in this moment I think I would like to be a surgeon. But now I can’t say exactly what I would like to do next. Now I have a lot of things: shooting, projects, Youtube channel, and much more. The main thing is that there is money for food, an apartment, for yourself. Now I am happy.
For a long time I have been nurturing the idea of launching a line of my clothes, accessories (more emphasis on bags), but I understand that every day and every year there are more and more designers, so ... But in fact, everything is real and, if you want, then everything can be achieved .
About everyday life
My typical day looks like this: I wake up, go to Instagram, see if advertisers write. Then I go to the post office, I also check advertising requests. Then I drink coffee, then I meet friends. Sometimes there are a couple of meetings at work.
Now I live alone. I had a period when I lived with someone, rented a room. I realized that living alone is cool, but a little lonely. Although I have a lot of fans, and when I come home, I understand that no one is waiting. I even got a dog to give her all my love. But she took her to her grandmother, as there is no time for proper care.
About family and children
Now I don't want children or a family. The priorities in life have changed, I understand that it is too early, while there is time - at least 10 years. But children are good, they are important and necessary, it does not matter - to give birth or adopt, adopt.
I would be very strict, but loving mother. I would not allow children a lot and would not indulge. Since childhood, I would have given them to English and French courses. I would not force, I would not say: "You must." For example, mathematics was not given to me at school, at that time I was drawing, going to dances and my strength had to be directed to creativity, but my parents missed this moment.
Images perfect man or ideal family I don't, but I know she will anyway sooner or later.
MakeUp and Hairstyle: Hairdesign Salon, Kyiv, Turgenevskaya, 46/11
Location: EBSH, Kyiv, Vozdvizhenska, 38
Outfits: brand Katerina Rutman
Shooting curators: Maria SARTANIA, Irina KOSTIUK
Photographer: Arina KALASHNIKOVA
Julia Mochalova about childhood, self-acceptance and modeling career by Lady in Dress
Yulia Geltsman, whom the public also knows under the names Yulia Mochalova and, is a Ukrainian fashion model and DJ, one of the participants in the reality show "Ukrainian Supermodel".
Julia was born on April 26, 1994 and at birth she was named ... Vasily. The fact is that today's fashion model was originally a boy. But later, Geltsman felt like a woman in male body. As she says in one of the interviews, one day she woke up and clearly realized that she was actually a girl.
Having collected the amount necessary for the operation and having completed all the required documents, Vasily leaves for St. Petersburg to a highly qualified plastic surgeon and after a while leaves the clinic as Yulia.
Portal of models "Podium.Life"Transformed beyond recognition, Geltsman begins labor activity as a nightclub dj for the people gay. Also, the newly-made girl becomes very popular as a fashion model. Moreover, many photographers do not even suspect that they are dealing with a transsexual.
In addition, Yulia Geltsman often appears in Sasha Shapik's video blogs, as well as with another unusual model, Andriana Doronina, whose real name is Andrey.
TV show
Yulia Geltsman was invited several times to various Ukrainian and Russian talk shows, since the topic of transsexuals, transvestites and androgynes remains defiant and incomprehensible to the public. Thanks to these programs, as well as photo shoots, Yulia learned to stay in front of the cameras freely and naturally.
Portal of models "Podium.Life" And in 2016, she took part along with two dozen of her other colleagues in the third season of the popular reality show "Ukrainian Supermodel". The broadcast on television of this program started on August 26.
Personal life
Today Yulia Geltsman-Mochalova is only 22 years old. She purposefully goes to her goal - to make successful career in the modeling business. The girl also says that she would like to create a full-fledged strong family with a loved man.
Portal of models "Podium.Life" By the way, in her interviews, Yulia very frankly talks not only about how the Plastic surgery on gender reassignment, but also about the severe physical pain that a person experiences at the same time. In addition, Geltsman emphasizes that a transsexual will not be able to feel like a 100% woman, since, for example, she will not experience intimate relationships classic orgasm. But for Julia more an important factor it turned out to feel like a girl from a moral point of view, so she was ready to put up with all the minuses of a sex change.
The releases of the show have already started on the New Kannel. The third season is gaining momentum, and we want to introduce you to the participants of the project.
The channel's website already has information about 15 finalists. So, among the participants of Supermodel in Ukrainian 3 there is a trans Julia Mochalova, a Nigerian Emmy Grace, a girl from the first season Alina Milyaeva,.
See biographies and photos of all. Watch online Supermodel in Ukrainian 3 you can.
Daria Maistrenko, 16 years old, Kanev
Height: 176 cm
Weight: 54 kg
Options: 80 – 62 – 90
It was my first casting. Lots of girls, lots of different characters. Of course, I had many doubts about participating in the project. But when I saw that I was chosen from thousands of others, I realized that I have some kind of uniqueness, and I am worthy of participating in the project, - Dasha admits.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Daria Maistrenko
A participant of SMPU 3 is studying at school No. 1 named after. T. G. Shevchenko. Participation in the reality Supermodel in Ukrainian 3 is Dasha's first serious step on the way to big dream about a career worldwide famous model. The girl dances, sings, draws, and also plays the piano. Afraid of snakes and heights.
Alexandra Litvin, 16 years old, Kyiv
Height: 173 cm
Weight: 53 kg
Options: 87 – 60 – 91
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I am an open and sociable person, so it was not difficult for me to open up and show my talents. But before the door itself, it was necessary to gather and overcome the excitement. I think I succeeded,” says Sasha.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Alexander Litvin
A participant of SMPU 3 studies at Lyceum No. 227 named after M. M. Gromov. Sasha is seriously engaged in modeling, collaborates with modeling agencies and participates in various shows and filming. The girl is engaged in athletics, and for two more years she played in KVN. Nothing is afraid.
Alexandra Kugat, 20 years old, Odessa
Height: 175 cm
Weight: 48 kg
Options: 79 – 59 – 87
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I didn’t expect to pass the casting at all, so I didn’t even take enough things with me. But the judges still got something in me. Perhaps they liked the fact that I was quite simple, and did not try to build anything out of myself. And I’m also “with regards,” Sasha laughs.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Oleksandr Kugat
A participant of SMPU 3 studies at a choreographic school. Sasha participated in shows and filming in Ukraine, Russia and China. The girl has quite a lot various hobbies: choreography, vocals, acting skills, KVN, stand-up. Sasha said that she was afraid of closed spaces.
Ekaterina Svinarchuk, 16 years old, Chernivtsi
Height: 167 cm
Weight: 57 kg
Options: 80 – 62 – 98
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
Despite the fact that my parameters are far from ideal, the judges liked my face and decided to give me a chance. I, in turn, promised to lose weight, which I am now working hard on, - Katya admits.
Participants Ukrainian Supermodel 3: facts about Katya Svinarchuk
She studies at the Chernivtsi Gymnasium No. 7. Before participating in the project, Katya did not have any achievements in the field of modeling. But the girl has very diverse hobbies and hobbies: football, baseball, theater, dancing, music, learning languages and much more. Afraid of loneliness and death.
Emmy Grace, 24 years old, Kyiv
Height: 175 cm
Weight: 50 kg
Options: 84 – 60 – 88
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I wanted to come to Supermodel in Ukrainian in the first season, but then I was very busy with education. And this season, I firmly decided that it was worth trying my hand. I am sure that this step will be very successful on the way in my modeling career, Emmy assures.
Participants Ukrainian Supermodel 3: facts about Emmy Grace
Emmy was born in Nigeria, so the girl speaks exclusively in English. Studying at Wisconsin international university. Emmy has a good experience in modeling - she participated in various shows and advertising shoots. The girl is fond of dancing and traveling, and in free time loves to cook. Biggest fear is snakes.
Maria Grebenyuk, 17 years old, Kyiv
Height: 181 cm
Weight: 58 kg
Options: 89 – 62 – 88
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
At the casting, I was absolutely honest - I just told the experts my story. I think she got them. And, of course, I'm sure that my external data played far from last role in the decision to take me to the project, - says Masha.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Masha Grebenyuk
Studying at the college KNUTD. Masha graduated from one of the modeling schools, but this is where her achievements in modeling before the Supermodel in Ukrainian 3 project end. He is fond of travel and sports. She also loves to read and learn English in her free time. Afraid of panic.
Svetlana Kosovskaya, 22 years old, Odessa
Height: 175 cm
Weight: 54 kg
Options: 84 – 61 – 93
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I think the experts were interested in my non-standard appearance. On the project, I will prove that all the features of my appearance are only for the benefit of modeling business- says Sveta.
Participants Ukrainian Supermodel 3: Facts about Sveta Kosovska
He studies at the Odessa Theater and Art School. Sveta works as a photographer and often shoots models. But the girl decided to try herself as those who fall under the sight of cameras. She enjoys painting, sculpture and fashion photography. Afraid of heights and snakes.
Alina Milyaeva, 16 years old, Nikolaev
Height: 175 cm
Weight: 52 kg
Options: 85 – 59 – 86
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I already came to the Supermodel project in Ukrainian in the first season. But then I was 14 years old, and I could not participate. Therefore, I was very worried whether they would give me a chance in the third season, ”says Alina.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Alina Milyaeva
She studies at school number 19. For several years, Alina has been giving all her free time to modeling. She participates in shows, starred in advertising campaigns and catalogs. The girl is seriously thinking of linking her whole subsequent life with the modeling business, as her older sister did. Alina is afraid of snakes and heights.
Victoria Globa, 20 years old, Kyiv
Height: 170 cm
Weight: 49 kg
Options: 88 – 61 – 90
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I hooked the judges with my self-confidence. I knew that I would not be able to complete the task, but I started doing it anyway. This perseverance helped me, the experts believed in me, - says Vika.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Vika Globa
Studying in Kiev national university culture and arts. Vika already has experience in the modeling business: the girl was filmed for advertising, various catalogs and lookbooks. Victoria is engaged in horseback riding, dancing, acrobatics, fencing. Afraid of the dark, heights and insects.
Olga Golub, 21 years old, Kharkiv
Height: 176 cm
Weight: 55 kg
Options: 89 – 64 – 90
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I became one of the winners of the online casting, so I knew for sure that I would get into the top thirty. And after all three experts invited me to their teams, there was no doubt that I would become one of the fifteen participants in the third season of Supermodel in Ukrainian, - Olya shares.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Olya Golub
She graduated from HOOSh No. 151 and now works as a gymnastics coach for children. Olya has no experience in modeling, and her participation in online casting is the first and very successful step towards her dream. The girl is fond of gymnastics and travel. And she believes that there is nothing that could scare her.
Irina Rotar, 17 years old, Krivoy Rog
Height: 178 cm
Weight: 50 kg
Options: 83 – 60 – 90
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
The most difficult thing for me at the casting was the waiting. A lot of girls came and I had to wait many hours before I went to the experts. But I didn’t worry about the competition at all, - says Ira.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Ira Rotar
Studied at Mining College. Ira has already tried herself in the modeling business and even collaborated with one of the local modeling agencies. Among her hobbies, the girl highlights sports and studying in English. She confessed to being afraid of heights.
Yulia Shchedrina, 16 years old, Mukachevo
Height: 170 cm
Weight: 54 kg
Options: 82 – 65 – 92
About casting for Ukrainian Supermodel 3
I came to the casting in my underwear. This surprised the experts. They understood that I was not afraid of anything. I am sure that they took me because I am purposeful and ready for anything, - says Yulia.
Participants Supermodel in Ukrainian 3: facts about Yulia Shchedrina
He studies at the Mukachevo gymnasium. Despite the lack of any experience in modeling, Yulia did not hesitate to come to the casting of the Ukrainian reality Supermodel 3. The girl is engaged in photography, she likes to be both on one side and on the other side of the camera. She also enjoys cooking, and she also learns poetry by heart. Julia assures that she is not afraid of anything.
The Clutch team believes that tolerance and tolerance are the basis of a truly European community, a Human (precisely with capital letter, not otherwise). That is why we created the project "In the spotlight" . It's about people he doesn't understand and doesn't accept. most of, so to speak, "traditional" society.
Yulia's honest story is a story of acceptance, behind which there is much more than you can imagine. What is it like to be or transgender? Is it possible to look at your genitals with a feeling of disgust, as if you were not you at all? It's hard to imagine, but the reflection in the mirror is not the worst thing. Many people think that the main problem transsexuals in accepting society, but in fact the most difficult thing is to realize and accept yourself. Accept the fact that you are a rare case, to some extent a phenomenon (and not a mistake of nature!). This is the hardest part!
There was everything on the way of Yulia Mochalova - suicide attempts, resentment against her mother, disagreements with relatives and men who treated her too superficially ... In general, this is a thing of the past.
In the present, our heroine has the right body, feeling dignity, warm relationship with grandma and even female name in the passport ... What else does Yulia, ex-Anton, dream of? As befits a woman, she dreams of love and children. About everything in order. Read the exclusive interview.
In Ukraine, they started talking about you after the project “Supermodel in Ukrainian”, but I would like to know the whole story from the very beginning.
- My journey began at the age of 15-16, when I first announced myself on the TV channel "Ukraine". I didn't go anywhere myself. I was constantly invited somewhere and in the same “models” they called me to the next casting, that’s how it all basically began. But it all started with the program "Ukraine Speaks", where I was one of the main characters. Then I had the pseudonym Volkov, which remained. Many people ask: “Oh my God, why do you have two surnames, why is that?”. I was small, I hid my real name Mochalova, she simply did not understand that she should be proud of her. To be honest, until recently, I hid and was ashamed that I was from small town Lubny. Relatively recently, I realized that the opposite is true - this is my grandiose success. I was able to go beyond the small town. In my life there were "ICTV", "New Channel" and "Ukrainian Supermodel".
There was a period when you left Ukraine and lived in other countries. In fact, where all the operations were carried out.
- Yes, but I came to Kyiv to live with clean slate like a girl, not like Anton from Luben. And then I decided that Kyiv is, of course, good, but I want something more, I need to earn more and I went to work in St. Petersburg. She worked hard in nightclubs for 12 hours on her feet, but thanks to kind people of my life, I did the operations that I needed. A month and a half later, she returned to Ukraine because she missed her parents and friends. IN Lately I started to love Ukraine, love Kyiv, although our mentality is still killing me - every day I think more and more that people are becoming more evil.
Transgender people from childhood feel that they are of the opposite sex. But often, ironically, such people do not have money for expensive drugs and operations ...
“I didn’t even have money for hormones either. For you to understand, I have been saving pocket money since I was 14 years old. 5-7 hryvnias every day in order to save 100 hryvnias or something like that at the end of the month. Then she stretched the hormone for this month and saved up again. Here is such a “vicious circle”! I had no money at all and it was a nightmare, as I remember that period of my life, it becomes scary. It was very hard, but I am proud of myself - I succeeded, I went through this school. There was no place to live, there was no food and water - there was nothing. But everything is relative. I am proud that I passed my “school of life”. As for sponsorship, who pays for such operations. Usually sponsors are men: loved ones, lovers, friends. Wealthy people who want to help, but the state does not, of course.
Who wants your feelings? Who will deal with that “layer of society” that our officials, and indeed most people in general, consider “not a beloved older brother”.
If a person or dog needs traditional help, so please, there are many organizations that help people or animals. As for our community, things are worse here ... Many transgender people commit suicide because they do not have money for breasts or rhinoplasty, for example. I was lucky - I didn’t have to redo my face, and some are less lucky ... Nose, cheekbones, forehead, chin and so on. This entails a whole series of expensive operations.
Life without them is not life. You just don't imagine yourself as the person you see in the mirror. This is not just a banal increase in boobs. For me, this is gr-oo-oo-oo-d, female breasts. And what is the way out? I also wanted to open myself twice, more precisely, once I opened my veins, and the second time I ate pills, but nothing worked. There was severe poisoning, a three-day hell - it's better not to do that. Better to just live in peace: make money. Or even find a sponsor...
Tell me about your feelings as a child. When and how did you start to understand that you are a girl?
- We had a very friendly yard, we constantly gathered, arranged concerts, of course, there were many children of different sexes, but I only hung out with girls. There were thoughts: well, what boys? What football? If the girls built halabuds in the bushes, I was definitely drawn to them, playing mother-daughters is also super. Only me! Concerts, all these dressing up in the costumes of Verka Serduchka also played a role. I also arranged concerts at home, but no one paid attention to my skirt dresses.
I was then 5-6 years old, well, let's say 8. I can say that I changed into my mother's clothes, walked around the apartment in women's clothes, but unconsciously. I consciously bought the first women's shoes only at the age of 14 - in my native Lubny, where it is impossible to find size 41 shoes with heels. It was at that moment that I decided to learn how to walk in heels. There was a moment when everyone left home, and I was left alone so as not to study in front of everyone. I didn’t understand then whether it was normal or not, but I knew for sure that I wanted to be a woman. Another problem arose - how to prepare parents for this?
What happened next?
“Then the hormones started. What can be a consultation with a doctor in the city of Lubny? My first “transformations” began thanks to our Internet, thanks to him that he was there. I found everything I need, all the drugs. She tried to prepare her father and grandmother for the fact that it could be like this, but she didn’t say anything directly. It seems to me that they would not have understood me completely, and could send me to the fool. In the city of Lubny, there are such rules: a man must be a man and work at a factory, and a woman must look after the house, cook borscht ... It is difficult to imagine the situation that I went to the doctor and said: “You understand, I feel uncomfortable in my body ...” . I just started drinking hormones, “grow breasts”. When I told my grandmother everything, she did not immediately accept the new me, at first she threw tantrums: “Oh, don’t, stop it, that’s enough.”
I either stopped drinking hormones, then resumed therapy again. I was tormented by thoughts and doubts due to the fact that I did not want to injure my parents. But being not yourself is also impossible to hurt. When I was 16 years old, I left home. I can say that my suffering is over.
Did you have a final conversation?
No, there was no conversation. I just said that now I respond only to the name “Julia”. It was a difficult and specific period - adolescence, youthful maximalism, the effect of medicines. In her aggression, she could easily say: “If you don’t call me Yulia, I’ll just jump out of the window!”. Until the moment I left for St. Petersburg, communication with my family was unbearably difficult for me. Well, as with relatives - with dad and grandmother. Mom died when I was 10 years old ... And at some point I was offended that she left me with my dad, who did not accept my true nature. Resentment tormented me until I was 20, but time passed ... I visited her at the cemetery: I talked and let go of my pain. After that, of course, it became easier for me to breathe.
Now I communicate with my parents: both with my father and with my grandmother. But more with grandma. She is my strength and support. I don't know how my grandmother survived all this. We had “Shakespearean” conflicts, we broke dishes and arranged showdowns. But now it is already in the past: she calls me Yulenka, gets acquainted with my men, shares my sorrows and problems. And dad, he is a peculiar person, of course, it is still difficult for him to understand “why” - especially without the support of friends. We rarely communicate, but I know that my father is alive and well - this is the main thing for me. In this regard, I consider myself a traditional daughter. And my grandmother is my soul, so I always worry about her. She will soon be 80, for a long time I want to transport the “harm” to Kyiv, but so far the granny is only resisting. If you plow the garden, then she has strength, but if you go to the capital, then no health is enough.
Yul, the story of dressing up as a child is understandable, but not everyone moves on to the next stage. Not everyone decides to change sex. You've made up your mind!
- In principle, I did not even understand that it could be different. Perhaps this is the true difference between a real transgender and a far-fetched one. There was no way back - I had one road, one goal. I didn’t even consider such an option to return the past, that is, I didn’t have a plan to retreat. Only forward!!! I walked, walked, walked and finally achieved what I wanted, although this is not the limit of what I want to achieve. At the moment, I can say: I managed to make myself a person with my own hands, and not thanks to the men who paid, bought some clothes, a car, an apartment.
Of course, and I had it, I had sponsors. These men are ready to give everything for a contact - to pay for any operations. But it's a slippery slope! At one point, they can take away gifts. Today I can pay for my apartment on my own, I can spend money on things, buy any cosmetics. And, of course, I can save money for some rainy day or maybe for a dream trip. As for the operations, this is my choice and they are already in the past, so I can’t say that I did them in vain! When I changed breasts, it was more like an obsession. Here I want, at least crack and that's it.
Vaginoplasty is, of course, the most serious decision. At that time, I had so many doubts, upheavals in my soul. I knew that things would be different now. Although these ideas were realized only partially. After some time, I realized that boobs, pussy, nose, lips, face will not make me happy until I put things in order in my head. I, as a person with a fine mental organization, have a lot internal problems. I want to improve myself as a person, develop, read, travel, travel. No matter how much you want to change yourself, in the end, men like smart women.
How much money do you spend on hormones?
- Approximately 300 UAH, plus I buy special amplifiers, and some vitamins. In general, five hundred hryvnia is not much, but these are vital pills for me. And then, if you calculate how much was spent on hormones in six years, thoughts immediately appear - you could buy a car for this money. But what to do? How else?
Who helps you determine the dose and generally provides medical support?
– During my six years of reincarnation, I tried different hormones: strong, weak and contraceptive. I know what I need and in what doses better than any doctor. I feel comfortable when I need to increase or decrease the dose. When I start jumping from one hormone to another, the condition is worse than during menstruation. Although I do not have my period, I sincerely sympathize with all the girls, because I understand what pm irritation is. Ready to destroy everything around! Hell!
Tell us about the “state policy”, how do they react to you at the border?
- Even during my departure to St. Petersburg, I realized that there would be problems with the border. Julia is standing in front of the border guards, and Anton is in the passport. Once I was even detained, and as a result I was late for my flight and, of course, no one reimbursed me for the ticket. All these explanations-explanations were very difficult for me. Even then I realized: no state. hospitals, no state. doctors, there will be nothing connected with the state in my life. My transgender friend lives in Europe and everything is calm in this regard, if you have a document, then you are you. And it doesn't matter what size your leg is, what you have under your skirt or on your head!
Nobody will be surprised, laugh, or humiliate. And here they start according to the traditional scheme: they call the passport offices, ask everyone, and then break into malice. This is how we live ... Now everything is fine with my documents, but some difficulties were due to the fact that at first I received Russian certificates (due to the fact that at that time I lived in Russia). When I came with these “papers” to our passport office, problems began against the backdrop of the war, I had to wait for a moment ... And now in the passport I am Yulia Mochalova.
Traditional question, but still. Documents are the last point, you have achieved what you wanted. What's next: share your immediate plans?
- There is one plan - to make money. Men. Today they are, and tomorrow they are not, and you have an apartment payment on your nose and you don’t know what to do. What else do I want? Work! I am only 20 years old, and I have already cheated myself, fixated on my family and children. But then a loved one “grounded” me: “You are famous, how can I be with you ... I have friends, society, mom, colleagues, etc.”. I decided to ban him. I'm only 20 years old - I still have my whole life ahead of me, I'd rather spend my energy on a name and a career than on experiences. For example, I recently started working with big companies cosmetics. Who knows what will happen in a year? I try not to scatter on relationships ... Now is such a stage in my life.
Hiding behind public opinion is somehow not entirely fair ....
- Yes, now I generally try not to meet men, because it makes no sense. What if it starts, I fall in love, and then it starts again: “I can’t introduce you to my parents.” I want simple female happiness: acceptance, compliments, good relationship. As for intimacy (I know for sure that this side of the “medal” is also interesting to you) - you can say that I am asexual.
I need "soulful" sex. This, of course, is about heartfelt conversations, dinners, trips, etc. Finding a boy for health for a couple of times is not a problem, but why is it needed.
Julia, tell me honestly, how do you like yourself?
- No makeup, no acne. When there is acne, it really infuriates me, like any girl. I like myself with a bunch. I guess I love myself in an old T-shirt with ketchup stains and I love myself before cartoons, before movies. That's where I'm really real, the way I am.
Is there anything you regret?
- It is a pity that at the age of 16 you do not have a person-authority who will clearly indicate the line of "good-bad." If they had told me then: “Don’t even think about going to a TV show,” I would have listened. I still regret that I got into the telly and opened my soul. Of course, there are pluses in this, but there are more minuses. In any case: what happened happened.
I wonder if you ever dreamed of moving to another, more democratic country?
- Probably not. I walk around the city calmly. Well, how calm… Sometimes, of course, there are different characters. And in fact, I receive a lot of threats and in in social networks, and on the street. But I forgive all this! I don’t want to complicate my life because of these people, I’d rather be here with my friends, with my grandmother. Run away - no, I won't. Moreover, loneliness kills the most. Another country is not for me.
What is your biggest dream?
- I would like to stay in the shadows, but today it is impossible! My sore subject: love, family, children. But who wants to be with a TV star? Simple female happiness. For some it's so easy, but not for me, not for me. Even stand and cry, to be honest. I want to meet a man with whom I can live in the shadows for a long time happy life. I dream of a child. As you can see, at first it seems that I am very different, but in fact, not very much. I am ruled by the most traditional female dreams.
