So 3 things to do a real man. Previously, a man had to build a house. What was meant by this? In fact, the house was then an opportunity to protect oneself from the cold and attacks of enemies. After all, a castle can also be called a home, fortified and protected from all external enemies. Indeed strong and good house earlier, it was very much appreciated, because the more reliable the house was, the more the person got the opportunity to protect himself from various weather disasters and protect himself from ill-wishers. In addition, not every person could afford to build a real dwelling, and not a shack that would fall apart from a light breeze. That is why men have always tried to build real home, To obtain good bride. Indeed, at all times, parents tried to marry their daughter to the most reliable young man. A strong house was the first proof of its reliability. This meant that the man was able to accumulate funds on his own and build his own dwelling, which also proved his physical strength.
What does a strong and large mansion in modern world. Well, probably, that the man has the financial ability to purchase it or hire workers for construction. Now, few people will build a house with their own hands. And, if this happens, it will most likely indicate that a person does not have enough funds to pay a professional team of builders. Building a house with his own hands will take more than one year, and therefore, in the modern world, a man should rather not build a house, but acquire a presentable home. It does not have to be a cottage or mansion. Also, a beautiful spacious apartment in a good area of the city can serve as a “home”. Probably, the concept of a house, in fact, has not changed much since the past. The parents of the bride are still concerned about the living space of the future son-in-law. Only now they are not worried about barbarian raids and cold winters, but about the prospects of living in the same apartment with the young, which, of course, they don’t want at all, or the possibility of renting an apartment that will not be so cheap, which will affect their daughter’s future family budget . So, we can conclude that the first thing that a modern man should do is get a living space. And let it be a gift, an inheritance, or an honestly earned apartment, the main thing is that the guy has a place to live with his future wife.
The second is to plant a tree. What was once meant by this? A tree is, first of all, give birth. And if there is a harvest, then in winter the family will not starve. Then, by planting a tree, they meant that a young man has his own land, on which he can and knows how to grow bread, vegetables and fruits. It is no secret that farming used to be one of the main professions. If a man was a good farmer, he had food in the house, besides, many products were sold. For the proceeds, the guy had the opportunity to buy clothes, household utensils and firewood for the winter, so as not to freeze in a cold house.
Then it turns out that for a modern man, planting a tree means getting Good work. Now, when you can buy almost everything, the main currency is not bread, but money. Yes and requests modern people an order of magnitude higher than that of their ancestors. Therefore, in order to live well in the modern world, it is necessary to have enough funds, which, as you know, bring a promising well-paid job. That is why, modern guys should not just learn how to cultivate their land well. They need to have high intelligence and get it at the university a good education, which can be used to find suitable job. Also, in order to have high earnings. You need to be ambitious and courageous, be able to find non-standard solutions and never give up. So, to some extent, it is more difficult for modern men to fulfill the second rule.
Well, the third - to raise a son. Perhaps this is the one thing that will never change. Each person wants to continue his family, to see in his children best qualities which he pledged to them from infancy. Of course, times are changing, and the methods of education are also becoming somewhat different, but, nevertheless, one thing remains at the core - to raise a worthy member of society from your child. That's what every real man tries to do. He will never leave his offspring and will not try to evade obligations. real man and real father will raise his child and never say that he simply does not have time. Such men always had time to build houses and grow trees, but at the same time, their children were never left without male education. The upbringing of such men is strict and fair, and they undoubtedly love their children very much. For the sake of a child, these guys build the warmest and most comfortable house and raise the most tall tree. They do everything they can and even try to do the impossible.
So, 3 things that a real man should do in the modern world is to get a good living space, have a well-paid job and do everything so that his children do not need love, care and proper education. If a man is able to achieve this, he will be able to fully realize himself in life. But, in fact, fulfilling these three rules is not so easy. A lot of effort needs to be put in. Therefore, it is not surprising that not all men achieve such results, and, consequently, self-realization. But, if your boyfriend has a nice house or apartment, a job that brings him not only high income, but also joy, and, in addition, he loves children very much and is ready to invest his whole soul and all finances in them - it means that there is really a real man nearby who deserves you.
Everyone knows the proverb "Every man in his life should build a house, plant a tree and raise a son."
From the proverb it is clear that first you need to build a house. Since the house is not built for one year, but you build it so that children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren live in it, then the choice of the site on which the house will stand should be taken not just like that, but with all seriousness, because your health depends on the choice of the site.
First you need to take a closer look at what grows on the site, what kind of grass, bushes and trees. According to the varieties of grasses that grow on the site, it is possible to determine the acidity of the soil and the proximity of groundwater. If the vegetation on the site is homogeneous grass or forest or steppe forbs, then this is a good site. If there are bald spots or grass grows different varieties, then most likely there are geopathogenic or biopathogenic zones, and it cannot be used. A geopathic zone is an area of the earth's surface that has an adverse effect on people and buildings, due to the distorted energy of the earth. The biopathogenic zone is a source of negative energy accumulated as a result of human activity, it is especially manifested in the areas of cemeteries (mostly destroyed), morgues, prisons, courts, hospitals. If, nevertheless, you constantly use a site with geo- and biopathogenic zones or build a house on it, then constantly being there, you will get sick, since the human biofield will be constantly subject to the negative influence of the distorted energy of the earth.
A small village was built in Yuzhnouralsk near the place where in the 1950s there was a slaughterhouse where cattle were slaughtered. No matter how much they try to plant pine trees in this place, they die, and people built houses and live in them. My classmate, having moved to live in this village, received a heart attack within 1 year. Another acquaintance felt great in an old house located 1 km from this village, but when he moved to new house, at first his legs failed, then his heart became ill.
In another place in the city, where the road passed from ancient times, a house was built 50 years ago. During this time, 3 families lived there. In the first family, the husband choked on vomit, in the second he hanged himself, the third family, with the exception of the son, all died in car accident. And such a nuance: the house stands on a water vein. Parents have growths on all joints of the fingers, and they practically do not bend. At youngest daughter living with them, already has problems with the spine. But at eldest daughter living in another city, everything is in order with health.
Pathogenic zones can be determined by anyone using a pendulum. Take a thread and tie a bead, button or other weight to it. Grasp the thread so that the weight can move freely. The rotation of this weight clockwise or counterclockwise will be the answer to the question asked to the pendulum. Take a test. Ask the pendulum a question: "If I breathe, then let the pendulum rotate clockwise." And since you are a living person and naturally breathe, the pendulum will rotate clockwise. After that, walk with the pendulum around the site, periodically asking him if there are geo- and biopathogenic zones here. If the pendulum rotates clockwise, then there are such zones in this section. If the pendulum rotates counterclockwise, then there are no such zones, and this area is suitable for humans.
According to the proverb, in order to feel self-sufficient, you need to give birth and raise a son. His birth can be planned - it's easy. The blood of a woman is renewed after 3 years, and the blood of a man is renewed after 4 years. Whose blood is younger at the time of conception, the child is born of that gender.
Planting a tree is a seemingly simple science. But not all trees and shrubs take root on the site. Using a pendulum, it is easy to establish the compatibility or incompatibility of plants. Each person needs to connect with the earth, be one with nature. Plants hear the voice of a person. The plant grows better if it sounds good, light music, at love relationship person to plant.
There are people who do not need any pendulums and frames, and without these devices they will tell you where to put a house, dig a well and how to plant trees in the garden, and what they lack in this moment. As a rule, they are called clairvoyants, or people who feel the energy of nature. By touching plants and earth, a person becomes kinder. Every gardener grows those plants that match his soul! My life is connected with grapes - an ancient and interesting culture. In the healing of this culture, I was convinced by myself and my children.
Many have heard more than once that a real man must do three things in his life: build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. The expression has long since taken on a connotation folk wisdom, which teaches that a man during his life (at least once) must take care of nature, take care of the continuation of his kind, and also provide his family with a place to live.
Often this phrase is said during toasts, although who owns the authorship of this expression is unknown. Sounds like a phrase in the Talmud. It says that “a person must first build a house and plant a vineyard, and then get married” (“Sota”, 44b (93, p. 361). So the expression “build a house, plant a tree and raise a son” can be considered an interpretation of a phrase from Talmud, the meaning of which is that you must first create conditions for life, and then acquire a wife.
Generations of Soviet children, following the young performers, inspiredly sang the lines of a popular song: "May there always be a mother, may there always be me." Not everyone asked the question: “What about dad?”
In the wings
More recently, the roles in the family were quite clearly distributed: dad works and earns, mom also works and educates. Although the fathers, of course, are different, however, with the word "dad" in Soviet time two stereotypes were common: dad lying on the couch with a sports newspaper or strict with a belt. Walked with children, took them to sections, circles, went to parent meetings most often mothers or grandmothers. The father was responsible for accustoming the child to order, strict upbringing, and even choosing the professional path of a son or daughter.
“Dads are becoming more responsible, they want to take part in the upbringing of children. Sometimes women earn more, and dads are "on the hook" - they help in education. Fathers are increasingly leaving maternity leave. Now I go to parent-teacher meetings with my children and I see that dads often come and actively discuss all school matters. That is, they are interested in the development of children, - says the chairman public organization"Large families of the Perm Territory" Irina Ermakova. - We have a forum for women "Mom-Bee". While mothers were gaining new knowledge, fathers were taking care of children. I think it's wonderful."
Modern life is blurring traditional roles, but getting used to this is not so easy. From pregnancy to raising teenagers, you can learn about how to be a mother everywhere. But there is much less information about how to be a dad. The role of a father is usually not prepared: in kindergarten and the school is usually not told who the father is, focusing on the mother.
Now you can see brutal uncles who braid daughters' pigtails, walk with kids on playgrounds. Dads take children to sections and circles and generally spend more time with children.
“If you want to be a good dad, no one will tell you how to do it. There are practically no books. Thematic sites are also very few and useful information there is not much there,” says the organizer of the discussion “Where is Dad?”, which was recently held at the exhibition “ Smart child”, Pyotr Kravchenko.
"Mom" ecosystem
Peter has two children: Arseniy is three years old, Kirill will soon be a year old. The division of roles in the family is traditional: dad is mainly a breadwinner. Yet Peter tries to spend more time with his sons. Now the schedule allows you to take three year old son to work so that the baby knows what the head of the family does and how he earns money. When Peter began to actively participate in the upbringing of children, he realized that he did not know much.
“I see how the wife’s communication with her girlfriends is built. They have some kind of bird language, a whole maternal ecosystem. This shows up in everything: they share advice, change things, etc. There are many sites and social media groups for moms. And there is nothing for dads yet, - says Peter. - It so happened that my close friends and I almost simultaneously became fathers. But in our male company it is not customary to discuss issues of education. But we all wanted to become fathers, and our goal is to become good dads. But unlike women, there are no courses or books for us. For example, I have a lot of questions. On the one hand, I do not want to crush the child with strictness, on the other hand, I understand that it is necessary to form a framework for behavior. How to find a balance? If earlier dads influenced the choice of profession, now it becomes impossible. When the baby grows up, they will change significantly. Where is the answer even to this question?
In a male company, it is not customary to discuss issues of education. But we all wanted to become fathers, and our goal is to become good dads. But unlike women, there are no courses or books for us.
Compassion and responsibility
To understand who a dad is and what it means to be good father, Peter and his friends organized a discussion. To the delight of the organizers, she gathered a lot of men. How to find a balance between work and family, what is conscious fatherhood, what are the advantages of maternity leave - they discussed all these issues.
“It is important for the future father to be aware of everything that happens to the woman he loves even at the stage of pregnancy. This should become a need, because even an unborn child is already part of the family. In such a situation, a man should already be interested in how he can help. If a husband responsibly approaches the role of a father, he must be ready to rebuild his taste habits, give up some personal needs to suit the needs of the family (for example, quit smoking on the balcony, go outside), - says Roman Popov, a journalist from Perm. - The one who is more convenient goes on maternity leave. The issue of priority and agreements is important here, not established norms. A man, even at the stage of his wife's pregnancy, should consider the option that he can go on maternity leave. Traditionally, all knowledge about what happens to a child is passed on to a woman. If a pediatrician comes, he tells all the information about how he is feeling to his mother, and only trusts his father to bring a spoon for examination. However, it is also important for a father to be in the know, he must participate in decision-making and take responsibility.
According to Roman, a man should forget about the traditional distribution of responsibilities around the house. There is no division into men's and women's affairs.
Men say that while dads who take care of children are rare, they have a number of bonuses. At least - tenderness of mothers on playgrounds. One dad remembered how ladies in the children's clinic parted before him and his child, because fathers usually appear in medical institutions much less often than mothers.
The father should be involved in decision making and take responsibility
The organizers of the discussion want to bring the discussion of the topic of conscious fatherhood to new level- they plan to hold a festival of dads in Perm. And in the near future, on September 30, this topic will be raised at the We-Fest festival dedicated to family issues.
Why is the law so harsh?
Ombudsman for Children's Rights Perm region Pavel Mikov:
In the last three or four years, the number of complaints from fathers of children has increased significantly. Appeals are most often associated with disagreement with the decisions of the courts that determined the place of residence of the child after the divorce of the parents. On the one hand, the very fact of conversion and the desire of fathers to participate in the lives of children speak of conscious parenthood, and this cannot but rejoice. On the other hand, this also indicates some problems in the practice of Russian legal proceedings.
Most often, the judge makes a decision, traditional for our mentality, regarding the place of residence of children, leaving them with their mother. According to the fathers, the judges do not take a comprehensive approach to assessing this decision. One of the latest appeals to the Commissioner testifies to just this.
The man does not agree with the decision of the court, which determined that after the divorce, one child will live with his mother, the other with his father. However, as it turned out, the mother of the children actively professes a non-traditional religion: and such moments as the rejection of traditional medicine, the involvement of a child in religious worship, a change in the normal diet, cannot but raise doubts about the safety of the physical and spiritual development child. The man is now challenging the court's decision.
Boss or friend?
Maxim Zubakin, Senior Lecturer at the Department of Developmental Psychology, Perm State National Research University:
Now the perception of the role of the father in the family is gradually changing. Representations are different from those that were in the days of our parents. IN modern society while there is no common understanding of the role of the father.
In my opinion, a fairly small stratum of men still have an interest in raising children and improving their quality of life. As a rule, these are educated people with an average income, aged 30 to 45 years. So far, I have not seen a wide request in society to discuss this topic.
A man does not always understand what it means to be a father. The problem lies in the fact that there is some conflict between the role of the breadwinner and the dad. Usually men work a lot, but children at home hardly see them. It is not easy to find a balance in order to be realized in the profession and find time for children.
Mixing both roles - worker and dad - is not best idea, since they assume completely different behavior. Often a man gets used to behaving in a certain way at the enterprise and transfers the same style of communication to the family, which causes conflicts. If at work everything is very structured for a man, then the family involves much less formalization. Work obliges him to act clearly and unemotionally, while at home they expect him to show more feelings. At work, there are rather narrow opportunities for expressing one's individual features. The family, rather, is forced to take on the character of the father in all its manifestations. If a man arranges a certain corporation from his family, perceives his wife and children as employees of the enterprise, they resist management and begin to hide something.
Educate yourself, not children
Venera Korobkova, Dean of the Faculty of Legal and Socio-Pedagogical Education, PSPU:
There are four categories of fathers. The first is absent parents. They either never participated in the child's life at all, or stopped communicating with him after the divorce. The second is traditional dads. They don't interfere much in the lives of children. They believe that their task is to earn money, and upbringing is the mother’s business. The third category is active dads. They are ready to delve into educational process willing to interact with children. Last, and least numerous, are authoritarian fathers who regulate all spheres of life in the family. They decide everything themselves, and the mother does not have the right to vote.
The largest category is traditional dads. We usually want them to pay more attention to children, but scolding and forcing is not an option. Schools make matters worse. When do dads usually get called to the teacher? When the child is misbehaving. For a man, a child is a reason for pride, and listening to how a son or daughter is scolded, dads feel bad luck. Now we offer at groups of kindergartens, school classes organize family clubs to encourage dads to get involved in children's lives. Men can participate in hikes and meetings in nature, they can fry a barbecue, play football with children, see how others communicate couples parents of their children's classmates.
There are far fewer active fathers in different teams from 6 to 15%. Every year this figure increases, as there is a lot of information on the Internet.
I will say that it is important not so much how much time the father spends with the child and educates, but how he behaves in the family: how he treats the mother of the child, how and how much he works. There is such English proverb: “You don’t need to raise children, they will still do what you do.” She is true. The father simply by his example shows the child how in the most different situations you have to behave.
Protect and teach
Dad on decree Sergey Galiullin:
When I found out that my wife and I would have a child, I began to look for a job with a big salary. But it did not work out, so I decided to be with the child. I consider it work, because raising a daughter is the same work.
Mom works in our family, and I sit with the child. Household tasks - washing, ironing, cooking, mopping - are performed by those who have time. Usually I cook breakfasts, my wife cooks dinners. She most often washes the floors, because at this time I am engaged with my daughter. I walk with her, change diapers, wife puts her to bed. Since I have been with my daughter since birth, we have good contact. I had to learn how to wash a baby, change diapers, clothes. Now she falls asleep worse with me, she likes more to be put to bed by her mother. But I don't see it as a problem.
I think that men should spend more time with children. A father can give his daughter and son something that a mother cannot. Dad is stronger and it is he who will roll the child on his shoulders. It’s easier for dad to be a clown, a fool, over whom children will kindly laugh. But dad will protect you, teach you how to defend yourself, how to get out of conflict situations. In general, it is very important for me to be a father - to be needed, caring. I learned some everyday things that I could not do before. Even cooking is better.
Traditional ideas about roles in the family are losing relevance. But stereotypes are very difficult to change. It seems to me that the more dads actively spend time with children, the faster the point of view in society will change. I often see men with strollers on a walk, in shops. First, dads will learn to just be with children, and then bring them up to the mark.
Share and educate
Mother of many children Nina Shirinkina:
In our family on maternity leave to care for youngest daughter my husband came out. We compared the level of salaries and found out that it would be more profitable this way. I will say right away that not all acquaintances and even close people understood us. Nevertheless, I believe that it turned out to be the right decision. We immediately clearly divided the responsibilities so that both parents would take care of the baby and she would equally have the attention of both mom and dad. I got up to my daughter at night, my husband was with her in the morning and afternoon. In the evening I always came home from work on time to feed her, wash her and put her to sleep. The division of duties in upbringing remains with us even now. The husband is raising sons, and I do not interfere in the process. My job is to educate girls. The husband takes all the children to the section, plans summer rest. We solve all issues of upbringing together and never interfere with children - we make comments and give advice to each other only in private. I think that husband and wife should be one team.
When a man takes care of a child so much, they develop a very close relationship, he begins to understand the baby as well as a mother. My husband has such a relationship with his daughter. But with his son, whom he did not care for so much, there is no longer such close contact. We noticed another interesting detail and found confirmation of this in the literature - the child's speech develops better when dad communicates with him a lot. Men have a low timbre of voice, which positively affects the development of the speech center in children. My daughter is now three years old, and she can already build long sentences.
And one more thing: when a man is actively involved in raising a child, his wife looks young and happy.
Papal rights:
For education
Caring for children, their upbringing is an equal right and duty of mothers and fathers (Article 38 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation).
In the case of separation of parents, the child has the right to communicate with each of them (clause 1, article 55 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).
A parent living separately has the right to participate in the upbringing of children. The one with whom the children live does not have the right to interfere with this communication, if it does not harm the physical and mental health of the child and his moral development(Clause 1, Article 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).
On parental leave
The father, like other close relatives, has the right to take parental leave (Article 256 Labor Code RF).
At the request of the employee, the employer must grant the man a break from work. The manager has no right to refuse. Men who are on maternity leave receive benefits. Until the child reaches the age of one and a half years, it is paid by the employer. The amount is 40% of the average earnings.
For maternity capital
The man is entitled to maternity capital, if he is the only adoptive parent for the second child, which is confirmed by a court decision not earlier than January 1, 2007. Also, if the mother of the children died, she was deprived of parental rights, she committed a crime that threatened the life and health of her children.
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Everyone knows the saying that a real man should have time in his life to plant a tree, raise a son and build a house. The presence of a house, a garden and a son are the traditional criteria for a man's success. But is it necessary modern man to strive for these three cherished goals or success today lies in something else?
The simplest task, at first glance, seems to be the task “raise a son". Many men have sons, but not all of them raise them, that is, they care and educate. Unfortunately, many fathers do not pay due attention to their sons and sometimes do not even love. But it is the father for the boy - a role model!
Most effective parenting- it's upbringing own example. Therefore, the task “Growing up a son”, in fact, implies the ability to first become a real man, one from which the son will take an example and, based on this example, grow up as a worthy person.
But in order to raise a son, caring only for the formation of his personality is not enough, you need to think about the external, material well-being. It is unlikely that a child will be happy if the family lives in poverty. Hence the second task of a man - “Build a house”.
Of course, it is not necessary to build a house yourself and it is not at all necessary that it be a house. It is enough to have an apartment, the main thing is that it be your own!
A successful man these days can buy an apartment in the city or a house in the country. If buy a land plot in a cottage settlement , you can build your own house, with your own hands. And then the second task will certainly be completed 100%!
The meaning of the task To plant a tree”, perhaps the most profound. What trees are usually planted? Fruit! Those from which you can harvest, those that later grow into a large garden. This means that a man must be able to find such a direction of development, work and business from which he can receive constant profit.
The “tree” that feeds will help the man maintain the house he has built and provide everything necessary for his entire family.
But even if we take the third task literally, it does not become less significant for life. By planting trees, people save the planet, and therefore themselves. Everyone today wants to live in an ecologically clean area, everyone loves to relax in nature and many would like to live in a country house.
Ideally, having an apartment in a metropolis, for example, in Moscow, buy a summer cottage not far from the city, where you can go to relax from the bustle of the city and breathe fresh air. In the suburbs, country houses are especially popular. plots in the Gorky direction , as here you can relax in nature, while being in close proximity to the capital.
So, all three tasks are relevant in our time. And today, the presence of a garden, a house and a son are the criteria for the success of a real man.
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