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18.03.2019

Does a four-year-old child often freak out and act up? Before dealing with a problem, it is necessary to understand its causes. Tantrums in children at this age can be both emotional in nature and be based on health problems.

A four-year-old baby is a rather independent person: she attends kindergarten, knows what she likes and doesn't like, has favorite activities, can express her needs. Why is a child naughty at 4 years old?

Constant tantrums in a four-year-old child, causes

What can cause tantrums in a baby? The main reasons are:

  • negative emotional environment. Maybe this behavior is due to copying traditional relationships in family. Look after yourself and your family members. If it is customary for you to speak in raised tones, quarrels and conflicts take place, then you should not expect anything else from the baby;
  • manipulation. At this age, the child has already learned that with the help of whims, adults can be manipulated, that they are ready for anything, if only he calms down;
  • a child at 4 years old throws tantrums due to lack of attention. The desire to attract attention can also be the cause of whims. Sometimes situations go to extremes, when parents are forced, due to constant tantrums, to devote all their time to the child;
  • blackmail. " demonstration performances» in the store become business as usual if parents indulge and fall for these tricks;
  • an overabundance of attention. Often, parents, having spoiled their baby, then suffer later. Permissiveness does not lead to anything good;
  • nervous breakdown and other diseases.

In any case, observe under what circumstances a four-year-old child throws tantrums, what can be their cause, and proceed from this when dealing with them. Perhaps the problem lies on the surface and is not as complicated as it seems.

4 year old child constant tantrums, what to do

Is your 4 year old throwing tantrums all the time? We bring to your attention the basic rules for their prevention:

  • warn of a possible hysteria. Try to foresee situations due to which the baby may get mad;
  • switch to action. If the baby is hysterical, ask him to bring you something instead of demanding that he be silent;
  • talk to him. Start like this - you're angry that you didn't get this and that. Explain that even if this is the case, this is not a reason to scream. Let him know that there are certain limits of behavior and if he does not adhere to them, he will be punished;
  • distract. During the next tantrum, try to remain calm and try to divert his attention with something mysterious. For example, what is it that just flew by outside the window, turn on your fantasy, develop this topic and do not pay attention to crying;
  • calm. In the case when the situation occurs in the store, pull yourself together and firmly let the baby know that his demands will not be met and there is no point in screaming. Better times to endure the views of outsiders than to suffer every time later. The next time he visits the supermarket, he will realize that it is useless to demand. Upon returning home, discuss what happened and explain that this is not possible and such behavior will not lead to anything good;
  • ignoring. Ignore any manifestation of whims and tantrums. They are designed for the viewer, and when there is none, they quickly fade away. When the child has calmed down, talk to him without reproaches. Tell him that you are upset by his crying, teach him to apologize.

It is worth paying attention to frequent tantrums in a 4-year-old child. If the above methods do not work, seek the advice of a neurologist. At any unpleasant situation do not think about what others will think, try to help the baby, because he is the best and your main task is to teach him to control his emotions.

Surely every parent at least once faced with children's tantrums. They appear, it seems, for no reason and end just as suddenly, but they bring a lot of excitement to all adults. Is it possible to prevent an emotional outburst that has begun in a child? What if the baby has a tantrum? The advice of a child psychologist will help tired parents cope with such problems and bring harmony to family life.

Causes of hysteria in children of different ages

To learn how to deal with temper tantrums in children different ages, you must first find out their causes.

Tantrums in a child of 2 years

A two-year-old often resorts to tantrums to get additional attention from adults. In his arsenal are several effective ways: Loud screaming, stubbornness, rolling on the floor in places where there is an audience. Psychologists say that this behavior is natural for small child due to the imperfection of his emotional system. He still cannot express his indignation in words if his parents refuse to do something or forbid doing something.

At this age, the baby is already beginning to separate himself from adults, and is also actively studying the world. However, all sorts of restrictions stand in his way, designed to ensure his safety on the street and at home.

whims two year old are often a reflection of their own physical condition: fatigue, hunger or lack of sleep. Perhaps the excess of new impressions overtired the baby. To calm him down, sometimes it’s enough just to take him in his arms, stroke his head to distract him from the situation that caused hysterical behavior.

Enrolling in a preschool, having a younger brother or sister in the family, and divorcing parents can also trigger tantrums. In order to get rid of tension, the baby begins to knock with his feet, scatter toys and scream loudly.

Another reason for "bad" behavior can be excessive strictness of parents. In this case, hysteria acts as a desire to resist this style of upbringing and defend one's own independence.

Tantrums in a child of 3 years

Especially bright tantrums, appearing seemingly out of the blue, are noticeable at the age of three. This period, which in psychology is called the crisis of three years, in all children it is expressed differently, but the main symptoms are negativism, self-will and extreme stubbornness. Just yesterday, an obedient baby today does the opposite: undresses when they wrap him warmer, runs away when he is called.

Frequent tantrums at this age are not explained by the desire to anger parents, but by the usual inability to compromise and express their desires. Having received the necessary thing with the help of whims, the child will continue to manipulate adults to achieve his own goals.

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By the age of four, hysterical attacks usually disappear by themselves, as the baby can already express his feelings in words.

Tantrums in a child 4-5 years old

Whims and tantrums in children over four years of age are often the result of parental mistakes in education. The child is allowed everything, he knows only by hearsay about the existence of the word “no”. Even if mom does not allow, you can always turn to dad or grandmother.

Constant hysterical behavior in a 4-year-old child can be a serious wake-up call, indicating problems with nervous system. If the baby behaves aggressively during a tantrum, injures himself and others, holds his breath or loses consciousness, vomiting, lethargy or fatigue are observed after an attack, then you should contact a neurologist.

If the baby’s health is all right, then the reasons for whims and tantrums lie in the family and the reactions of loved ones to his behavior.

Important:

How to prevent tantrums

The best way to deal with a tantrum is to prevent it. And although psychologists say that all children go through these attacks, you can try to reduce the frequency and severity of emotional outbursts.

  1. Maintain a daily routine. Children early age and preschoolers feel safe when they adhere to a well-established routine. Hunger and sleepiness are probably the most common causes of tantrums. They can be avoided by following a regular daily sleep and meal schedule.
  2. Prepare your child for change. Make sure you warn him well in advance. significant changes, such as the first day in kindergarten. By giving your baby time to adjust, you will reduce the likelihood of tantrums.
  3. Be firm. If the child feels that he can influence your decisions with the help of tantrums, then he will continue to manipulate you in order to get his way. Make sure he knows that you are making firm decisions and will not change your mind in response to bad behavior.
  4. Review your restrictions. Before denying your child a request, ask yourself if your ban is really necessary. Why doesn't your son have a snack if dinner is late? You can avoid tantrums by simply making him a sandwich. Don't apply rules just for the sake of rules, revisit prohibitions.
  5. Provide a choice. From the age of two, the little one achieves greater autonomy. Offer him a simple choice to make him feel like an independent person. For example, offer your child a choice for breakfast between oatmeal and corn flakes. Just don't ask questions like, "What would you like to eat?" You run the risk of getting a completely unnecessary answer. Ask: “Will you eat porridge or cereal?”
  6. Pay more attention. For a child, even bad attention is better than none. Make sure you spend enough time responding to his basic needs for love and affection.

See how to stop children's tantrums

If the tantrum has already begun ...

If the baby is capricious, distract him, find out what he is dissatisfied with, try to eliminate the cause of his discontent. However, the distraction method only works when the tantrum is just beginning. What to do if the child has already entered into an emotional rage?

  1. Make it clear that screaming and yelling does not affect you, they will not help change your mind. If the tantrum is not very strong, say: “Sun, say calmly what you need. I don't understand you when you scream." If the hysterical attack is already strong, then you better leave the room. Talk to the baby when he calms down.
  2. Try to isolate the child at the peak of the emotional explosion. If this happens at home, then leave him alone in the nursery, and if on the street, take him to a place where there are no other children and adults.
  3. During whims, always behave the same way so that the baby can understand that his behavior is ineffective.
  4. Explain how you can express your dissatisfaction in positive ways. From the age of two, teach your baby to use descriptions of emotions in his speech. For example, "I'm upset", "I'm angry", "I'm bored".
  5. Follow your feelings. Young children are easily infected by other people's emotions. So your aggression can only aggravate the situation.
  6. Be patient. If tantrums have already become traditional for a child, do not expect everything to pass immediately after the first time you leave the room and calmly explain everything to him. To new model fixed, it will take some time.

Do not be afraid of tantrums in children, you need to learn how to respond to them correctly. If you have already tried all the tips listed in our article, but you are still experiencing temper tantrums in your child, seek professional help.

When asked what hysterical behavior is, mothers will answer without hesitation: aggressiveness, loud screams, tears, uncontrolled actions. Similar signs are often found in children from 2 to 5 years.

In any case, a tantrum in a child of any age will not leave indifferent either his relatives or eyewitnesses of the attack. How to behave in a similar situation to the mother? Punish? Slap? Ignore? regret? The main thing is to keep calm.

A hysterical attack in children (no matter at what age - at 2, 3 years old, at 7 or 8 years old) is characterized by emotional arousal, aggressiveness, which can be directed at others or at oneself.

The child begins to sob, scream, fall to the floor or ground, bang his head against the wall, or scratch his body. At the same time, he almost completely “disconnects” from reality: he does not perceive the words of other people and does not feel pain.

In especially severe cases, there are involuntary convulsive reactions, which are known in medicine under the name "hysterical bridge". The body of the baby arches in the form of an arc, and his muscles become tense.

It is necessary to distinguish between a hysterical attack and a whim. The first is characterized by involuntary. Capricious behavior is a deliberate step, based on the desire to possess any thing. Such techniques are often included in the "arsenal" of children prone to manipulative actions.

Hysteria in young children most often usually proceeds according to a similar scenario and includes several stages. Each of them is characterized by certain symptoms, which you need to know, as this will help to quickly stop the attack.

The main stages of a hysterical attack in children:

  1. Harbingers. Before the “concert”, a child of 2 or 3 years old begins to express displeasure. It can be whimpering, sniffling, prolonged silence, or clenching fists. At this point, the tantrum can still be prevented.
  2. Voice. At this stage, the child begins to scream, and so loudly that it can scare others. Demanding to stop is useless - he is cut off from reality and does not hear anyone.
  3. Motor. The active actions of the child begin - throwing things, stomping, rolling on the ground or floor. This phase is the most dangerous for the baby, because he can be injured, because he does not feel pain.
  4. W final. Having received a "relaxation", hysterical children seek support and consolation from their parents. The kids are tired physically and mentally, since such a strong emotional shock takes a lot of strength from them.

An exhausted child usually falls asleep quickly, and his sleep will be deep enough.

Who is most prone to tantrums?

Psychologists note that not all kids are equally prone to hysterical seizures. The frequency and strength of an emotional outburst is determined by the type of temperament and higher nervous activity:

  • melancholic. These are children with a weak nervous system, characterized by increased anxiety, often mood swings. Such a baby is often hysterical, however, due to the weakness of the central nervous system, it soon returns to normal;
  • sanguine. Children with this type nervous activity at any age (that at 2 years old, that at 7 or 8 years old) usually stay in good mood. Tantrums can happen if the reason for this is severe stress. However, this rarely happens;
  • choleric. Such children are characterized by an unbalanced character and bright emotional outbursts. Hysterical attacks occur suddenly in small choleric people, and are often accompanied by aggressive manifestations;
  • phlegmatic. Such kids already at 4 years old (and even younger) are characterized by calm behavior and prudence. In them, inhibition processes prevail over excitation, so tantrums practically do not occur.

Based on the foregoing, we can conclude that mothers and fathers of small melancholic and choleric children, that is, children with unbalanced types of nervous activity, will complain about children's tantrums more often.

Before proceeding directly to the factors that provoke the occurrence of children's hysteria, it is necessary to dwell in more detail on the features of the development of three-year-old children.

Around 3 years old (give or take 7 or 8 months), children begin a period known as the "three-year-old crisis." From this moment, the child realizes himself as a separate person from his parents, he has a desire for independence.

About such psychological phenomenon how, in more detail you can learn from another article by a child psychologist. This material contains many useful tips, including the fight against the hysterical behavior of the child.

For all children, such a crisis period can manifest itself in its own way, but usually psychologists distinguish a kind of seven-star signs:

It would seem that at 2 years old the baby was so obedient, and now he starts to do everything “out of spite”: he takes off his clothes if he is asked to wrap himself up; throws a toy if asked to pick it up.

Tantrums at this time are quite common, in especially difficult situations, the baby is naughty 7 or 8 times a day (of course, classic hysterical seizures are much less common).

When a child is four years old, tantrums gradually fade away, as other, more advanced methods of expression appear in the children's arsenal. own emotions and desires.

To know how to deal with constant child tantrums, you need to have an idea of ​​what causes them. The solution to the problem will depend on what exactly triggered the hysterical reaction.

The most popular reason for tantrums in babies is conflicts that inevitably arise in parent-child relationships. In addition, do not forget about age features children at 3 years old.

In general, the cause of a hysterical reaction in three-year-olds can be several main factors:

Thus, each hysteria has some underlying reason. It should be understood that a three-year-old child is not going to intentionally anger his mother, on the contrary, his own attack also scares him. That is why it is necessary to respond correctly to children's behavior.

If tantrums in a child of 3 years old become more frequent, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy. And the most important recommendation is to avoid a hysterical fit. That is, your goal is not to fight the reaction, but to prevent it and mitigate the severity of outbreaks:

  1. It is important to maintain a daily routine. Both toddlers at 3 years old and children at 7 years old feel safe if you follow a clear daily routine. Therefore, you need to try to put the child to bed at a certain time during the day and in the evening.
  2. We need to prepare the child for the coming changes. For example, you need to warn about a future visit to the kindergarten not when the baby crosses the threshold for the first time. preschool, but a few weeks before the event.
  3. You must be firm in your decision. No need to change your firm decision in response to tantrums and whims. How older child, the more his bad behavior turns into a method of manipulation. By the age of 7 or 8, you simply cannot cope with the young manipulator.
  4. Bans should be revisited. On the other hand, it is necessary to "revise" the restrictions and leave only the really vital ones. But it is better to refuse optional prohibitions. Who said you can't make sandwiches if lunch is delayed?
  5. Children should be given a choice. Three-year-olds need independence and independence, which can be provided by the usual alternative. The child can decide for himself which blouse to wear for a walk - blue or yellow.
  6. Try to pay maximum attention. Children strive to get parental attention by any means, even bad ones. Try to spend more time with your child and respond to his desire to be with you.

It is important to carefully monitor how the child reacts to the development of the situation. If you notice the harbingers of hysterical behavior (clenched fists, whimpering, formidable silence), it is better to immediately switch the baby's interest to something else.

How to stop a tantrum in a child?

If the hysterical attack has not yet gone too far, the baby can be distracted by an unusual object or a sudden act. This method occasionally works, but you should also know other tricks to reduce the intensity of passions:

Do not think that after the first application of one of the above recommendations, tantrums will disappear. Some mothers think that as soon as they leave the room, the child will calm down. This is simply not possible because it takes time to form a new habit.

What to do after a tantrum?

It must be understood that work with the child begins precisely after the end of hysterical reactions. They should be dealt with sequentially and progressively, unless, of course, you want them to be repeated again and again.

First of all, it is necessary to teach the child socially acceptable methods of expressing their feelings and aspirations. The best way to do this is through role-playing games or reading specialized literature - fairy tales and poems.

You should also convey to the children the idea that they will not always be able to get what they want. Moreover, the desired is not achieved with the help of such undesirable actions as screams, tears, jerking of the lower limbs.

Always explain to the little "bully" how much his act upset you. Be sure to demonstrate that your love for him is unconditional, but tantrums make you feel a lot of unpleasant emotions.

Children's tantrums are often fixed in the child's behavior and become a habit. Therefore, this problem cannot be solved quickly. In addition, the duration of retraining will depend on the type of temperament of the baby. The most difficult thing will be with little choleric people.

Most often, after six or eight weeks of regular work of the parents, the tantrums in the child stop. However, in rare cases, such behavior not only does not stop, but also becomes more frequent or severe.

Tantrums in a 4-year-old child are still more rare than commonplace. Therefore, if at this age hysterical attacks are repeated, we can assume the presence of diseases of the nervous system.

You should contact a pediatric neurologist if:

If a medical examination does not reveal deviations in health, then most likely the problem may be in the sphere of parent-child relations or in an inadequate reaction of loved ones to the behavior of the baby.

Should not be given to a child sedatives By own will. Inadequate medical therapy can harm the baby, therefore, treatment can be carried out only after examination by a neurologist and only with prescribed medications.

As a conclusion

The answer to the question of how to deal with a child's tantrums worries many parents. This problem becomes especially relevant when the baby is three years old.

Experts are convinced that whims and mild hysterical attacks are not a deviation from the norm at the age of three. This period is characterized by crisis phenomena, which become the source of problematic behavior.

Usually, after the end of the crisis period, hysterical seizures also disappear. If they recur after 4-5 years, it is better to contact specialists who will confirm or dispel doubts.

In general, it is important to respond correctly to ambiguous children's actions. Parents should communicate more with the child, teach him to manage his emotions, and demonstrate his unconditional love.

In this case, the child's tantrums will lose their sharpness and brightness, which means that soon the baby will stop using them as an instrument of pressure on parents. Therefore, very soon calm and peace will reign in the family.

Your baby, your friendly baby on the eve of two years turned into an unbearable tyrant? Demanding, impatient, who knows how to run, push, rush, pinch, bite, and answer any offer or request with a hard "no"?

Persuasion, explanations, threats or punishment no longer work? What is it? Is there something wrong with your baby or is it you, as a parent, who made mistakes?

Outbursts of hysteria and stubbornness with throwing objects and toys on the floor, screaming and choking attacks (when the child holds his breath until his desires are fulfilled) are a normal phenomenon in the life of a small child who does not yet know how to express his needs and sadness in words. Tantrums happen to all children. This is not a behavioral disorder, but a normal, healthy release of stress and frustration.

Research states that crying and rebellion are aids in releasing tension, lowering blood pressure, and, along with tears, flushing stress-related things out of the body. chemical substances thus restoring the chemical balance of the body.

Therefore, children should not be punished and condemned (saying, for example, that the child is a whiner or a crybaby) for tears or a rebellious character.

Tantrums usually appear at the age of 1.5-2 years, during the period when the child develops self-awareness (awareness of one's own "I"). However, sometimes tantrums can start earlier, at the age of 12-15 months. Babies at this age begin to understand more and more of the words they hear. However, their language abilities are still weak enough to voice their experiences, desires and needs, which they are beginning to realize. With the development of self-awareness, two-year-old children have a need to do certain things on their own (on their own) and to accept their own solutions. For the first time you can notice this when a child plays with blocks, pyramids build a tower of sand and it does not work. You try to help him, to which you get a violent rebuff - the child does not want to accept your help and wants to do everything on his own. Usually violent tantrums pass up to 4 years, although sometimes they can drag on for more late age(In this case, you should contact a specialist to help the child learn to cope with frustration together).

If by this peak moment in the life of a baby, most parents were similar in their careful and gentle handling of their babies, then after its onset, parents are sharply divided into two camps. The former tend to traditional methods upbringing and begin to use their power, giving orders and punishing disobedience, the latter - on the contrary, instead of counteracting the stubbornness of the baby, yield to his every desire. There are also such parents who resort to orders, and then do not withstand the onslaught of the baby, they seem to fulfill all his requirements.

What to do if a child has a tantrum?

When a child has a tantrum, he is not able to hear explanations, reasons, agreements. Therefore, he responds with indignation to your cries and threats. The more you scream, trying to stop the tantrum, the louder the tantrum. If you try to hit a baby on the butt, you can get a corresponding reaction. For children, what an adult allows himself is a model for imitation, so in the logic of a child, what you do is also possible for him. The child does not just “copy” (should). For him, your reaction is an example of how you can overcome anger, disappointment, when something doesn’t happen the way you want. What really works during a baby's tantrums (calms down a storm of emotions) and at the same time is good example for imitation - it's just calmly being next to the child, waiting for the storm to subside by itself.

Hysteria is easier to prevent than to stop!

Desire in a child most often arises spontaneously, depending on what she meets on the way. Therefore, in order not to become a hostage to desires that change again and again, before you go for a walk (or place), prepare your child by drawing up a route and action plan with him. For example, where will we go for a walk today: to the playground near our house or to the park? At the same time, it is more emotionally attractive for the child to highlight the option that is desired for you. For example, there will be many children there, we can feed the pigeons and there will be a sandbox, you like to play in the sand (underline what the child loves). We'll go with you on foot, take the tram? And so on... When you leave the house, try to keep the child's attention with stories about where you are going and how, so that your arrangement remains relevant and desirable for him. All the time emphasize emotionally what will be interesting to the child himself. If you watch mothers and their babies, you will notice that the most talkative mothers have calm children and they are more likely to stop crying. Mostly children cry with silent fathers who do not explain or explain little to children what, how and why. Most often, they briefly address the child, saying: “don’t cry,” “don’t climb,” “don’t fight,” “you can’t”! From this, the world of the baby becomes not too clear and full of prohibitions.

The second secret to preventing tantrums is that babies are very ritualistic. Usually they like to walk the same way, wear the same clothes, do similar activities. Don't be scared. These are not signs of autism, this is normal for young children, they do what they are familiar with, what they are used to, and only gradually expand the list of actions they are used to. Given this tendency of young children, most of their desires can be predicted. If you do not want your child to demand cookies or juice from you before each walk, do not repeat this offer for more than two walks in a row, it is better to offer something new each time, but no less interesting for the baby. If, nevertheless, this tradition has already been entrenched, do not be angry with the child for the fact that in Once again he throws you a tantrum: "I want cookies", or let's go to the store. Be prepared for this, and since you've already agreed to this once, don't mind it now. On the contrary, you can use it to your advantage, for example, we will go for a walk, and on the way back we will buy cookies, because now we have nowhere to put them, etc.. In this way, you will also teach the baby to develop willpower, patience and a long-term perspective . Just remember to keep your promise on the way back!

Pay attention to when your baby most often has tantrums. That way they won't surprise you. Children are often naughty when they want to eat, drink, tired, want to sleep, too excited.

Another likely trigger for tantrums could be TV or video, even if it's from cartoons for kids. They can become a source of stress, excitement, fears, especially for young children. So take this into account and change the time spent watching TV.

The study also notes that an increase in moodiness and tearfulness often precedes the acquisition of new skills. In this case, they become like harbingers of a new stage in the development of the baby.

It is almost always possible to agree with the baby (with his desires) to prevent tantrums, when the fulfillment of the child's desires does not contain a potential danger and cannot harm his health or the health of others. In this regard, parents should think, is it always worth demanding obedience for the sake of obedience itself?

Remember which one of you is the adult!

It doesn't matter how long the tantrum lasts. Do not get into ridiculous demands or negotiations with a child who will scream! Especially there is a desire to make concessions to the requirements of the child when you are in public place. Try not to pay attention to what others think or say. Anyone who remembers being a parent can remember being in your shoes. Also, do not get into a power struggle with your child, showing him your advantage. Manifestations of force in relation to the child - physical or moral (threats, oppression) - will show him how to decide conflict situations, or vice versa, will suppress in him any initiative and ability to defend himself. Reacting calmly to a tantrum will show your child that you are in control.

If the child is still small, and the tantrum is already strong, The best way to calm is to take the baby in your arms, hug him, show him tenderness and support, take him out of the scene, gradually distracting his attention.
If the outbursts of tantrum reach a peak, when the child begins to beat people or animals, throw things or squeal, you should also pick him up and take him to a safe place where he can calm down. Tell him why he is here (“because you hit grandma”) and also that he will stay here until he calms down.
Older children sometimes run away to another room on their own. Let your child be alone and calm down. After a while, discuss the situation with him, accepting his feelings (“you got angry” or “upset”), gently point out to him what he was wrong about (“but you can’t throw things or fight”), give him possible variant solving the situation (you need to ask ...), if possible, try an adequate solution to the situation now (let's go ask together).

Watch for signs of stress in your child's life

Although tantrums and moodiness are normal for children of two years of age, be attentive to possible problems that can provoke them:
  • Was there a scandal or quarrel in the family the day before (or do they happen from time to time)?
  • How difficult is your busy period right now?
  • Are there tensions between you and your partner?
  • There has been some new stressful situation in a child's life? (The child entered kindergarten or a second child was born)
  • Perhaps something in the usual day of the baby has changed? (The teacher has changed) whether.

If after the age of 3-4 your child still throws serious tantrums every day and refuses to cooperate with any provocation, even to perform the usual daily routines (dressing or picking up toys), you should seek help from a specialist. A pediatrician, a neurologist, a psychologist will help you make sure that the physical or psychological condition the baby is not the cause of the baby's problems, and will also help find solutions to repay outbursts of tantrums.



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Lara Mom 13.03 09:36

a child can be capricious, and there are children who love to do this very much from birth. But every whim has a basis. Someone wants to constantly (24 hours) feel their mother, and even eat at the same time, others calm down only when they hear native voice, and someone is ready to spend the whole day in the bath and only there he feels good. These are all demands for attention or contact, but not a reason to let the child “cry” (although there are such approaches). It is especially difficult in the first months, when it is the firstborn. The voice of each baby is different, the timbre is also different: some squeak quietly like mice, others growl loudly like cubs. Over time, the mother begins to recognize the characteristics of her child, and this allows you to quickly calm the baby, who needs attention, and does not worry about being unwell. Again, without the inner peace of the mother, the baby is unlikely to stop crying, even if the reason is already clear to everyone.

I read about facial expressions and tonality - a lot is described on the Internet specific options crying, but personally I had to face two: calm and hysterical. But to say that with a calm there is no reason for excitement, and with an anguished one, it’s worth immediately calling an ambulance, in my opinion, it’s impossible. All children are different and each individual baby has his own crying for every occasion. Therefore, the mother should gradually get used to the baby, trying to learn to understand it.

It was easier for me to go by the method of elimination (based on our personal priority): first, a good dose of attention and bodily contact, then an attempt to divert attention, then quiet favorite music, in critical situation water procedures. This is provided that the baby is full, does not want to sleep and is not sick, that is, it simply requires attention.

Tita Ku 01.12 10:54

Dear readers of the blog, I can say with all confidence that this tactic leads to a resounding victory in the fight against child tantrums.
I can add two stories from my own experience.
History 1.
My daughter was 2.1 years old. We were about to leave the store. I have bags in both hands, and my daughter suddenly wanted to be in my arms, and what would she bring home. Initial persuasion and explanation did not help. I see that Katyusha is starting to fall into hysterics. I put my bags down and sat down. Our next conversation:
-Daughter, I understand that we love to hug very much. I also love to carry you in my arms. But in this moment I have heavy bags, I can't leave them here. Help me carry them home.
- No, leave it. I'm tired, pick me up.
- Daughter, there are two options. The first is compromise, the second is radical. First: you help me carry the bags to the house, and at home I immediately take you in my arms, and we "rush around" on the arms as much as you want.
- Mom, what is the second one?
-Second, I'll just take off your pants and flog you in front of everyone (I note that I have never spanked a child in my life, but she always knew that I keep all my promises and fulfill all my intentions)
Daughter after a short reflection:
-Okay, Mom, let's compromise.
I smiled and thanked Katyusha for the right choice, and said that she was my main assistant.
History 2.
Each of us once faced with the unwillingness of a child to wash his hair. And we had tears and tantrums about it.
I overcame this by telling my daughter that for a long time, I was also small (she was simply amazed by this fact))), and terribly did not like to wash my hair. Always naughty and crying. And then one day my mother got tired of my whims, and she stopped washing my hair. For two weeks I was just happy, but then .....
And now, my daughter washes her hair without tears, but the truth is, she always asks to tell a story about my whims.
I suddenly realized that in these moments, she feels wiser than me as a little girl. And she enjoys it. She understands that I am also a person))))))



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