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Family rituals. Family rituals and customs

Family rituals. Family rituals and customs

01.03.2019

Among the Russian old-timers (especially among the Cossacks and peasants, who early received the land in possession, and then in the property), large (undivided) families were a common occurrence in the past. Not only parents, children and grandchildren lived and managed together, but also several brothers, there could also be a sister with her husband-primak, orphaned nephews and other relatives. Often the family united up to 20 or more people. The head of the family team was the father or elder brother (highway, elder), the manager among women and authority among men was his wife. Intra-family life was determined by patriarchal foundations. The church itself prescribed women unquestioning obedience to their husbands. The daughter-in-law expected hard everyday work in family life, they expected humility and obedience from them. At the same time, all members of the family participated in the implementation of household chores, the most difficult field, forestry, and construction work lay on the men. Children were also involved in family affairs.

After the abolition of serfdom and the receipt of land allotments, there was a tendency to disintegrate large families. Settlers recent decades 19th century seldom decide to move large staff. At the same time, the residence of the eldest son with his parents remained a family tradition everywhere. Families of 7-9 people were common. In Stolypin's time, small families appeared along with them - 4-6 people.

wedding ceremonies

Weddings were usually celebrated in autumn or winter after Epiphany. The wedding ceremony consisted of several stages and took a long period of time. The godfather with the godmother or the boyfriend's parents came to woo the girl, less often - other relatives. They sat under the mother and started a conversation allegorically: "You have a product, we have a merchant" or "You have a chicken, we have a cockerel, we will bring them into one barn." If agreed, then a series of pre-wedding meetings took place: the bride's bride, acquaintance with the groom's household, conspiracy (drinking, handshaking), during which they agreed on the date of the wedding, the amount of the dowry, the size and content of the masonry - the groom's monetary contribution and the clothes that he bought for the bride (it could be a fur coat, a coat, a silk dress, boots with galoshes, etc.). After that, preparations for the wedding went on for about a month. Throughout this period, the bridesmaids gathered in her house for evening parties, helping to prepare gifts for the wedding and a dowry: they sewed, knitted lace, embroidered.

All the rituals that were part of the wedding cycle were accompanied by songs according to the moment - sad, lyrical, laudatory, comic, farewell.

The playful nature of the wedding entertainment was fully manifested the next day, when the son-in-law, and after him all those present, went "to the mother-in-law for pancakes."

Among the Cossacks, for example, after noisy (with tossing and beating plates) fun in the mother-in-law's house, they dressed up in different clothes, painted or covered their faces with canvas, and with whoops, with songs, drove around the village on oxen harnessed to wagons - rydvans. We went to visit godfathers and other guests.

The wedding could last a week or more. Despite the limited number of invitees, almost everyone could be present, join in dances, performances, occasionally treat themselves.

Collectors of folklore note the impoverishment of wedding rituals in the 20th century, the disappearance of not only many sad ones, but also a number of game moments. The composition of the participants expanded, but the wedding "roles" (except for the boyfriend) were lost. Ritual song folklore has gone into the realm of history.

Each state had its own canons of beauty and family traditions. Ancient Rus' was no exception: the principles by which old days chose brides, today they often cause bewilderment. And the rules family life and are completely intimidating. Suspicion of infertility also posed a great danger - for this the husband had a legal basis to send his wife to a monastery.

Blood with milk

While European ladies by hook or by crook strove for aristocratic pallor, Russian women preferred to emphasize their natural rosy cheeks and ruddiness. The taboo was imposed not only on cut marks and other imperfections on the face, but also on the "flies" and birthmarks. Sometimes, in order to stay long in the girls, one large mole on the cheek was enough. Therefore, they were whitened and masked in various ways, trying to make them invisible. A good reason to cancel the wedding was also considered any illness and physical disability.

There was a special "fashion" for brides, and in order to wait for matchmakers, it was desirable to comply with it. The first thing that was evaluated in any marriageable girl was puffiness. In Rus', a wide-bodied and full-bodied woman was considered a written beauty. They also said about such people that they “blow with health”. The passion for extra centimeters on the hips was easily explained from a practical point of view. In an era when medicine was at a very low level, wide hips were considered a kind of guarantee that a woman could bear and easily give birth to a child. In addition, excessive thinness often aroused suspicions of serious health problems. And no one was in a hurry to acquire a notoriously sick and incapable of working wife.

Do you want to go out? Get your husband's permission!

In the ancient Russian patriarchal society, a woman was traditionally assigned a subordinate position. Usually the lower her class was, the less she took part in the political and public life countries. Before marriage, the girl was in the full "property" of her parents, who made all decisions for her and selected the right party. After marriage, responsibility for a woman passed to her husband. For any business, up to the opportunity to leave the walls of the house, his permission was required. In order to attend church, go shopping, or keep in touch with someone outside the native walls, it was imperative to seek the approval of the head of the house.

Wherein, family nest It was allowed to leave, only fairly prepared. Women tried to thicken their eyebrows with surma, apply a fair amount of white and rouge. Sometimes it looked so deliberate that it seemed as if the face was sprinkled with flour, and there were bright red marks from the beets on the cheeks.

How not to brag to the guest with a beautiful wife?

There was a tradition of showing off your wife to important guests, especially if she was famous for her beauty. To our time, many notes have been preserved in which the description appears this custom. Greeting the guest, the man, through the servants, imperceptibly gave his wife a sign to dress up and go out to them. On this occasion, the woman put on her best clothes and met unknown man bowing his head meekly. This allowed him to examine her in more detail and express his admiration for the mistress of the house. If the approval seemed sincere to the husband, the guest was served a glass of strong drink.

Because of a bored wife, it's time to take monastic vows

In ancient Rus', divorces were not honored. It was possible to get rid of an annoying spouse in a limited number of cases: in the event of an attempt on life or adultery confirmed by witnesses. Another good reason was the long absence of a husband or wife, whose whereabouts were unknown. However, the latter was extremely rare and required strong evidence of veracity.

With virtually no chance of an official divorce, people came up with various ways part amicably. One of the most popular and frequently encountered was the voluntary departure to the monastery. When there was no hope left for peace between spouses, one of them could go to holy places to serve God. It was assumed that prayers and an ascetic lifestyle would help resolve the problem, and peace would return to the family.

However, often a person who decided on such an act remained in the monastery forever. If the husband took monastic vows, the wife was allowed to remarry. Laws have traditionally been more loyal to men. Suspecting his wife of infertility, he could own initiative send her to a convent, and six weeks after that, find a new wife.

Do not defile icons with carnal pleasures!

With special zeal in ancient Rus', they treated the fulfillment of marital duty. His primary purpose was the desire to conceive a child, and not to get physical pleasure. This was largely due to the high percentage of infant deaths, which forced families to give birth to as many heirs as possible.

Despite the fact that sexual intercourse in a church marriage was considered a legal matter, they prepared for it with great care. Before starting, all the faces of the saints were hung in the room and the pectoral crosses were always removed so as not to offend the Lord with carnal pleasures. According to an unspoken rule, it was undesirable to attend church on this day. But if circumstances forced to go to the temple, first it was necessary to thoroughly wash the whole body and change into clean clothes.

Adultery was treated differently. A woman convicted of fornication was publicly whipped and sent to a monastery, where she was forced to spend several days in prayer, and eat only water and bread. After returning, the harlot was expected to be punished again. This time from her husband, who was to whip her again. It turned out to be extremely problematic to evade the fulfillment of the duty, because for excessive kindness, the punishment would have overtaken the spouse.

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Family and household traditions and rituals in Rus'

Introduction

The desire of people to brightly, solemnly and colorfully celebrate the key events of their lives is due to the tradition of these events in the form of holidays and rituals.

rite- a set of conventionally symbolic actions that have been established among the people, expressing a certain magical meaning, associated with the celebrated events of life.

Custom- traditionally established rules of social behavior. This is what is customary ("usually") to do in this or that situation, among this or that people.

Ritual- the sequence of actions during the ceremony.

Ceremony- this is the same as the ritual, but is typical for especially significant solemn occasions.

Tradition- a social phenomenon that is passed down from generation to generation, covering the spheres of life, family, morality, religion.

At present, the rite plays an increasingly important role in the spiritual life of people. They are necessary for modern man, because.

· Create conditions for intra-family and inter-family communication, acquaintance, joint pastime;

Create an atmosphere of fun, joy, relaxedness;

Give social significance to the events of a person's personal life;

Contribute to the formation of personality;

· Educate a person;

· Provide an opportunity to realize themselves;

· Form a worldview;

Help to relieve psychological stress, organize leisure;

· Contribute to obtaining positive emotions, etc.

Rituals can be divided into certain types. These include:

· Civil ceremonies (initiation into students, farewell to the army…)

Labor (initiation into the profession, farewell to retirement, anniversary ...)

Family and household (birth, baptism ...)

· Calendar (Easter, Christmas…)

Family and household holidays and rituals are associated with the cycle human life; reflect the life of a person from birth to death, traditional life and family traditions.

Many scientists believe that once agricultural and family rituals were a single whole, having one common task- achieving well-being in the family, a good harvest. It is no coincidence that a great similarity is observed in calendar and wedding songs of an incantatory nature.

At the same time, confinement to the most striking events in a person’s personal life, and not constantly recurring dates due to the change of seasons, and, accordingly, other functions and other content make it possible to single out family holidays and rituals into a separate group.

Among the Russian old-timer population (especially among the peasants, who early received the land in possession, and then in the property), large (undivided) families were a common occurrence in the past. Not only parents, children and grandchildren lived and managed together, but also several brothers, there could also be a sister with her husband-primak, orphaned nephews and other relatives. Often the family united up to 20 or more people. The head of the family team was the father or elder brother (highway, elder), the manager among women and authority among men was his wife. Intra-family life was determined by patriarchal foundations. The church itself prescribed women unquestioning obedience to their husbands. The daughter-in-law expected hard everyday work in family life, they expected humility and obedience from them. At the same time, all members of the family participated in the implementation of household chores, the most difficult field, forestry, and construction work lay on the men. Children were also involved in family affairs.

After the abolition of serfdom and the acquisition of land allotments, there was a tendency for the disintegration of large families. Settlers of the last decades of the XIX century. seldom dared to move in large numbers. At the same time, the residence of the eldest son with his parents remained a family tradition everywhere. Families of 7-9 people were common.

1. wedding ceremonies

The time of the formation of the wedding ceremony is considered to be the XIII-XIV centuries. At the same time, in some regional traditions, pre-Christian origins are felt in the structure and some details of the rite, there are elements of magic.

The main components of the ceremony:

· Matchmaking

· Brides

Handshake (engagement)

· Bachelorette / Bachelorette party

wedding train

· Wedding ransom

wedding

Walking

wedding feast

The rites originally symbolized the transition of a girl from her father's clan to her husband's clan. This entails the transition under the protection of male spirits. Such a transition was akin to death in one's own way and birth in another kind. For example, howling- this is the same as lamentation for the dead. On bachelorette party going to the bath - washing the dead. The bride is often led to church by the arms, thus symbolizing the lack of strength, lifelessness. The young woman leaves the church herself. The groom brings the bride into the house in his arms in order to deceive the brownie, to force him to accept the girl as a newborn family member who did not enter the house, but ended up in the house. When the bride was wooed, they put on a red sundress and said: "You have goods - we have a merchant."

Matchmaking

The matchmaker was usually the relatives of the groom - the father, brother, etc., less often - the mother, although the matchmaker could not be a relative. Matchmaking was preceded by a certain agreement between the parents of the bride and groom. The matchmaker, having entered the bride's house, performed some ritual actions that determined his role. For example, in the Simbirsk province, the matchmaker sits under the mother, in the Vologda province he had to rattle the stove damper, etc. Often the matchmaker did not directly speak about the purpose of his arrival, but recited some ritual text. In the same manner, the bride's parents answered him. This was done in order to protect the rite from the actions of evil spirits. The text could be like this: You have a flower, and we have a garden. Is it possible for us to transplant this flower into our garden?

A young goose is looking for a goose. Is there a goose lurking in your house? - We have a goose, but she is still young.

The bride's parents had to refuse for the first time, even if they were happy about the wedding. The matchmaker had to persuade them. After the matchmaking, the parents gave the matchmaker an answer. The consent of the girl was not required (if asked, it was a formality), sometimes even the matchmaking could take place in the absence of the girl.

Smotriny

A few days after the matchmaking, the bride's parents (or relatives, if the bride is an orphan) came to the groom's house to look at his household. This part of the wedding was more "utilitarian" than all the others, and did not involve special ceremonies.

From the groom demanded guarantees of prosperity future wife. Therefore, her parents examined the farm very carefully. The main requirements for the economy were the abundance of cattle and bread, clothes, utensils. Often, after inspecting the household, the bride's parents refused the groom.

Announcement of the decision about the wedding. Handshake (engagement)

If, after inspecting the groom's household, the bride's parents did not refuse him, a day was appointed for the public announcement of the decision on the wedding. AT different traditions this rite was called differently (“engagement”, “handshake”, “zaruchiny”, “zaporuky” - from the words “strike on the hands”, “collusion”, “binge”, “sing out” - from the word “sing” , “proclamation”, “vaults” and many other names), but in any tradition, it was from this day that the actual wedding began, and the girl and the guy become the “bride and groom”. After the public announcement, only exceptional circumstances could upset the wedding (such as the escape of the bride).

Usually, the "conspiracy" takes place about two weeks after the matchmaking at the bride's house. It was usually attended by relatives and friends of the family, villagers, since the day of the "conspiracy" was determined after inspecting the groom's household, and a few days before the "conspiracy" itself, this news spread throughout the village. At the "conspiracy" it was supposed to treat the guests.

The promise to marry was often backed up by deposits and pledges. Refusal of betrothal was considered a dishonorable act, which should bring both heavenly and earthly punishment on the guilty person, in the form of recovery of expenses, gifts, payment for dishonor, and sometimes even criminal punishment.

The announcement of the engagement usually took place at the table. The girl's father announced the engagement to the guests. After his speech, the young went out to the guests. The parents were the first to bless the couple, then the guests brought their congratulations, after which the feast continued. After the engagement, the parents of the bride and groom agreed on the wedding day, who would be the bridegroom, etc. The groom gave the bride his first gift - often a ring, as a symbol of strong love. The bride, accepting him, gave her consent to become his wife.

The church view in ancient Rus' adapted to the popular one: it consecrated the betrothal, which often took place long before marriage, with the blessing of the church, and recognized its indissolubility; but the church saw the decisive moment in concluding a marriage in the wedding.

In the north, the ceremony of commissioning the bride was one of the most dramatic of all the rites of the wedding cycle. Even if the bride was glad to be married, she was supposed to lament. In addition, the bride performed a number of ritual actions. So, she had to put out the candle in front of the icons. Sometimes the bride hid, ran away from home. When they tried to lead her to her father, she struggled. The bridesmaids were supposed to catch her and take her to her father. After that, the key action of the whole day was performed - “hanging up” the bride. The father covered the bride's face with a handkerchief. After that, the bride stopped escaping. The place of "hanging" varies (in different places hut or outside the hut). After the hanging, the bride began to lament. The groom and the matchmaker, without waiting for the end of the laments, left.

Preparing for the wedding day. Vytiye

The next period in some traditions was called a "week" (although it did not necessarily last a week, sometimes up to two weeks). At this time, the dowry was being prepared. In northern traditions, the bride constantly lamented. In the southern ones, every evening the groom and friends came to the bride's house (this was called "gatherings", "evenings", etc.), they sang and danced. On the "week" the groom was supposed to come with gifts. In the northern tradition, all actions during the "week" are accompanied by the bride's laments, including the arrival of the groom.

Dowry

The bride, with the help of her friends, had to prepare for the wedding a large number of dowry. Basically, the dowry was made by the bride with her own hands earlier. The dowry usually included a bed (featherbed, pillow, blanket) and gifts to the groom and relatives: shirts, scarves, belts, patterned towels.

Rituals on the eve of the wedding day

On the eve and in the morning of the wedding day, the bride had to perform a series of ritual actions. Their set is not fixed (for example, in some regions the bride had to visit the cemetery), but there are obligatory rites inherent in most regional traditions.

Bride's walk in bath could take place both on the eve of the wedding day, and on the wedding day itself in the morning. Usually the bride did not go to the bathhouse alone, with her friends or with her parents. Going to the bath was accompanied by both special rhymes and songs, and a number of ritual actions, some of which were given magical meaning. So, in the Vologda region, a healer went to the bathhouse with the bride, who collected her sweat in a special vial, and at the wedding feast it was poured into the beer of the groom.

hen-party

A bachelorette party is a meeting between the bride and her friends before the wedding. This was their last meeting before the wedding, so there was a ritual farewell of the bride to her friends. At the bachelorette party, the second key moment of the entire wedding ceremony took place (after the “hanging”) - untwisting a girl's braid. The braid was untwisted by the bridesmaids. Unweaving the braid symbolizes the end of the girl's former life. In many traditions, the untwisting of the braid is accompanied by a "farewell to the red beauty." "Red beauty" - a ribbon or ribbons woven into a girl's braid.

The bachelorette party is accompanied by rhymes and special songs. Often the bride's reckoning sounds simultaneously with the song that the bridesmaids sing. At the same time, there is a contrast between the parable and the song - the parable sounds very dramatic, while it is accompanied by a cheerful song of girlfriends.

wedding ceremony wedding handshake

2. First wedding day

On the first day of the wedding, the following usually happens: the arrival of the groom, departure to the crown, the transfer of dowry, the arrival of the young at the groom's house, blessing, wedding feast.

Scheme of the ceremony: in the morning of the first day, a bath and a meeting of girlfriends, then the arrival of the groom, “bringing to the tables” (bringing the bride to the guests and the groom), treating the guests. At the same time, the main thing is the “output in front of the tables”, since a number of magical actions are performed here, the bride is most elegantly dressed. At night, everyone stays in the bride's house, and the bride and groom are supposed to spend the night in the same room. This means that the actual wedding has already taken place. The next day there is a wedding and a feast at the groom.

Druzhka

Druzhka (or Druzhko) is one of the most important participants in the ceremony. Druzhka to a certain extent directs ritual actions. The friend must know the ritual very well, for example, at what moment should wedding sentences be pronounced, etc. Often the friend is ritually blasphemed and scolded, and he must be able to adequately respond to similar jokes to your address. The groom is almost a passive figure; on the wedding day he does not say ritual words.

Usually the boyfriend is a relative of the groom (brother) or close friend. Its attribute is embroidered towel(or two towels) tied over the shoulder. In some traditions, there may be not one boyfriend, but two or even three. However, one of them dominates over the others.

Groom's arrival

In some traditions, on the morning of the wedding day, the groom must visit the bride's house and check if she is ready for the arrival of the groom. The bride should already be in wedding clothes by the arrival of her bridesmaid and sit in the red corner.

The groom with his boyfriend, friends and relatives make up wedding train. While the train is moving to the bride's house, its participants (trainers) sang special "trainer" songs.

The groom's arrival was accompanied by one or more ransoms. In most regional traditions, this is the ransom of the entrance to the house. A gate, a door, etc. can be redeemed. Both the groom himself and his friend can redeem.

Elements of magical actions in this part of the rite are especially important. Road sweeping is common. This is done so that under the feet of the young they do not throw an object that could be damaged (hair, stone, etc.). The specific road to be swept differs between traditions. This may be the road in front of the bride's house, along which the groom's train will go, it may be the floor of the room, along which the young people will go before leaving for the crown, the road to the groom's house after the crown, etc. Druzhka and other guests carefully watched so that no one violated the cleanliness of the road (for example, they would not run across the road to the wedding train); for such a violation, the perpetrator could be severely beaten. Since pagan times, the custom has been preserved to make an offering to the local sorcerer or healer (if any), so that they do not harm the wedding train. At the same time, the sorcerer could purposely come to the train and stand there until he receives a sufficient gift.

An essential detail of the rite, preserved even in urban conditions, is the direct ransom of the bride. The bride can be redeemed either from the bridesmaids or from the parents. Sometimes there was a ritual deception of the groom. The bride was taken to him, covered with a scarf. For the first time, they could take out not a real bride, but another woman or even an old woman. In this case, the groom either had to go look for the bride, or redeem her again.

Wedding

Before going to church, the bride's parents blessed the young with an icon and bread. Before the wedding, the bride was untwisted with a girl's braid, and after the young people were married, two “woman's” braids were braided for her and her hair was carefully covered with a female headdress (warrior).

Arriving at the groom's house

After the wedding, the groom takes the bride to his house. Here their parents should bless them. There is also a combination of Christian elements with pagan ones. In many traditions, the bride and groom were put on a fur coat. The skin of the animal performs the function of a talisman. Mandatory in the rite of blessing in one form or another is bread. Usually, during the blessing, he is next to the icon. In some traditions, both the groom and the bride are supposed to bite off the bread. A magical effect was also attributed to this bread. In some regions, it was then fed to a cow so that it would give more offspring.

wedding feast

After the wedding, the bride never laments. From this moment begins the joyful and cheerful part of the ceremony. Then the young people go to the bride's house for gifts. Then the groom brings the bride to his house. There should already be ready a plentiful treat for the guests. The wedding feast begins.

During the feast, songs of praise are sung. In addition to the bride and groom, they called their parents and boyfriend. The feast could last two or three days. On the second day, it is obligatory to move everyone to the bride's house, the feast continues there. If they feast for three days, on the third they return to the groom again.

"Laying down" and "waking up" the young

In the evening (or at night) the "laying of the young" was carried out - the matchmaker or bed-maker prepared the marriage bed, which the groom had to redeem. The feast at this time often continued. The next morning (sometimes only a few hours later), a friend, matchmaker or mother-in-law “woke up” the young. Often, after the "awakening", the guests were shown signs of the "honor" (virginity) of the bride - a shirt or a sheet with traces of blood. In other places, the bridegroom testified to the virginity of the bride by eating an egg, pancake or pie from the middle or from the edge, or answering ritual questions like “Did you break the ice or trample the mud?”. If the bride turned out to be “dishonest”, her parents could be ridiculed, a collar was hung around her neck, the gates were smeared with tar, etc.

3. Second wedding day

On the second day of the wedding, the bride usually performed some ritual actions. One of the most common rites is "search for the yar". This ceremony consists in the fact that the “Yarochka” (that is, the sheep, the bride) is hiding somewhere in the house, and the “shepherd” (one of her relatives or all the guests) must find her.

It was also common for the “young woman” to fetch water with two oars on a yoke, throwing garbage, money, grain in the room - the young wife had to carefully sweep the floor, which was checked by the guests.

Important is the arrival of the groom to his mother-in-law. This rite has many various titles in different regions ("khlibins", "yayshnya", etc.). It consists in the fact that the mother-in-law gave the groom cooked food (pancakes, scrambled eggs, etc.). The plate was covered with a scarf. The son-in-law had to redeem her by putting money on (or wrapped in) a handkerchief.

In some regions, on the second day of the wedding, the parents of the bride, who remained chaste, sent the groom's parents a bottle of wine, to which they tied viburnum berries and ears of corn. Kalina was called the "beauty" of the bride (her chastity). If the bride was “dishonest”, the wedding participants removed the wedding decorations in the form of viburnum: they dropped berries from the loaf, removed branches from the walls of the bride’s parents’ house, and instead of them they stuck a pine branch.

wedding songs

Wedding songs accompany all stages of the wedding, from conspiracy to the final rites of the second day. stand out farewell songs that make out the end of premarital life; majestic, performed during ritual feasts and serving for the community consolidation of the new structure of society; cinnamon songs; songs, commenting the course of the ritual.

Protective rites

· In order to deceive the dark forces during the matchmaking, they changed the path, drove by roundabout roads.

· The ringing of bells, which accompanied the wedding train all the way to the church, was considered protection from evil spirits.

· In order to turn the head of the unclean and send him to hell, the young were circled around a pole or tree.

· In order for the brownie to accept the young into a new family, it was necessary to bring the bride into the house in her arms, without stepping on the threshold.

· From damage and evil spirits were saved by refraining from pronouncing words and from eating.

· For large families and wealth, young people were showered with grain or hops, put on a fur coat weathered up with fur.

· To strengthen the bond between young people, they mixed wines from glasses of young people, stretched threads from the bride's house to the groom's house, tied the hands of the bride and groom with a handkerchief or towel.

4. Birthing and baptismal rites

In ancient times in Rus' it was believed that everything that happens to a person - whether it be birth, death or illness - is subject to a dark, impure, afterlife, evil world. The birth and death of a person especially frightened superstitious people. They believed that a born person, that is, a person who had just come from an evil world, could bring with him danger to those already living. In this regard, there were a lot of rituals with the help of which the newborn and his mother were cleansed of evil spirits.

Our ancestors sincerely believed that not only a child is a carrier of evil spirits, but also his mother is a danger to the living, as she serves as a conductor between the worlds: the manifest world and another, unclean world. Through the body of a woman, a child comes to the earthly world. But along with the child, evil spirits can also penetrate into the earthly world. Thus, rituals were performed not only on the baby, but also on his mother. These rites were called "cleansing", that is, they cleansed from dark power. There were two types of rituals: church and folk.

Church rites of purification include reading prayers during childbirth, sprinkling holy water on the room where the woman in labor lies. Even in our time, such cleansing rites can be found in some villages. As a rule, prayers are read by priests who adhere to the old faith.

Rites of birth

On the day of childbirth, a midwife (a woman who will take birth and perform the duties of an obstetrician-gynecologist and nurse), close friends and relatives come to the woman in labor. Oddly enough, but even these people are considered dangerous for people, since they were present at the "sinful event" - the birth of a baby. That is, they could be inhabited by an evil spirit that came to earth during childbirth. As soon as all the procedures are completed after the baby leaves the mother’s womb, the owner of the house invites a priest who sprinkles the house, the child’s room with holy water, reads purification prayers for the mother, child and, separately, for women who were present during childbirth.

After reading the prayers, the mother and father of the child must give their child a name (necessarily on the same day). Then a day is appointed when the baby will be baptized. This ends the role of the priest for a while. This completes the first stage of cleansing. Only after that, all the inhabitants of the house could breathe easy and not worry about their future.

Next comes the second stage cleansing baby and mother. It consists in washing the mother and child in the bath. In some settlements of Rus', it was customary to give birth right in the bathhouse, where the mother and child were kept for several days. In other places, the woman gave birth in the house, and then she and the child were transferred to the bathhouse, where the first days of the baby's life passed. Both in Orthodoxy and in paganism, a woman was considered “unclean”, and where, if not in a bathhouse, can one wash away impurity? In any case, the mother and child ended up in the bath, a few hours after the birth, where the midwife performed the rite of purification there.

It always starts with a child. Before washing the baby's body, the midwife poured plenty of water on the stones so that the steam filled the entire steam room. This was necessary in order for the body to become soft. Another belief of our ancestors: the fetus is always hard like a bone or a stone, even when the baby comes out of the womb, it remains hard. Steam was needed to soften it. Then the newborn was placed on a bath broom and began to "massage" (popularly called "stretching"). The midwife kneaded the arms and legs, head, ears and nose of the child, believing that in this way she would give the body the desired shape and correct any birth defects. Such a massage improved blood circulation, helped the joints gain flexibility, and skin elasticity.

When stretching, the midwife took the right arm of the child and pulled it to the left leg and, conversely, the left arm to the right leg. The fact is that our ancestors believed that in dark world everything is upside down, where the right is left, where the top is the bottom. Therefore, the newborn, as having come from that world, is also upside down. The midwife "twisted" the child as it should be in earthly life.

The mother of the baby received no less attention. Arriving at the bath, the midwife poured vodka (or other alcoholic drink) and let her lie down until she performed the ceremony with the child. Then the restoration of the mother's body began. The woman who gave birth was believed to be born again. This was explained by the fact that her body was undergoing strong changes(the belly grew, the breasts increased), that is, it was destroyed, therefore, the woman was dying. After some time, the body returned to normal, this process was considered the birth of the mother. The role of the midwife is to hasten the process of "birth" of the woman and purify the newborn. The bath ritual was repeated daily for a week.

The last rite in which the midwife participated was the rite of girdling the baby on the eve of the fortieth day: the midwife reminded the woman in labor of the need to accept a cleansing prayer and performed the rite of girdling. The belt with which she tied the child was considered both as a magical amulet against evil forces and as a sign of longevity and health.

The rite of purification is followed by the church rite of baptism. An unbaptized child caused fear in people, it was forbidden to kiss him, talk to him, put things on him (the child was always in swaddling clothes). In some villages in Russia, it was even forbidden for the mother to call him by his first name. The baby was considered a sexless creature, he was not ranked among the family in which he was born.

Parents carefully chose godparents for their child, as they were considered spiritual mentors. Most often, relatives became godparents, since they will not refuse a godson, they will always take care of him, educate, and educate him. The godfather (or godmother) could become children from six years of age and the elderly, but preference was given to people of the same age as their parents. It was impossible to refuse the role of godfather, it was considered a blood offense for parents.

Just before the sacrament, the child was in the arms of the midwife, who handed him over to the godfather. The godmother prepared the font for the ceremony. Water was poured into the font directly from the well, in no case was it heated and warm water was not added. It was believed that by lowering the child into ice water (even in winter), they give him greater resistance to disease. If during baptism the candles in the hands of relatives smoked and burned badly, it was believed that the child would often get sick or die soon, but if the flame was bright, he would have a long life.

After the completion of the ceremony, the priest handed over the baby to the godparents: if it was a boy, then to the godmother, if it was a girl, then to the godfather, who carried the child to the house. After that, the baby became a full member of the family. The next day after the baptism, relatives, friends and relatives came to the parents' house. They arranged a feast, the first toasts were always pronounced for the health of the child, his parents and the midwife who took birth.

Tongue (the rite of the first tonsure of a child)- celebration of the anniversary of the birth of the child. This anniversary was definitely invited godparents. In the middle of the room on the floor, a casing is spread with wool up (as a sign of amulets - a symbol of well-being), a boy is put on it, the father throws some money on the casing so that the child's life is rich and happy. The foster father cuts his godson's hair a little crosswise. Today, in this specific ritual, the child is often cut off a cross symbolically from four sides, the hair is cut a little in front, behind and on both sides above the ears, which should protect the child from evil forces from all sides.

The girlish type of tonsure is a rite of braiding, a solemn weaving of the first braids crosswise. For this ritual, parents invited godmother, which after the performance of the ceremony was presented. The custom has survived to this day: on the birthday of a child, the mother bakes pies. Choosing the largest of them and placing it on the top of the child's head, symbolically draws the child up by the ears, saying that next year it has grown no less than the height of the pie.

5. Day Angel

According to the church charter, the name of the child had to be given on the eighth day after his birth, but the church did not strictly adhere to this rule. It happened that the name was chosen both before the birth and on the day of the birth itself.

The naming was given to the priest. He chose a name according to the calendar in accordance with the honoring of one or another Orthodox saint, coinciding with the day of the child's baptism or close to this day. Naming the name, the priest brought the child to the icon of the Mother of God and raised him crosswise in front of the icon, as if entrusting the new Christian to her protection. It was allowed to choose the name and the parents themselves.

Name day is not only a day specific person, but also the day of the saint in whose honor this person is named. The guardian angel is an invisible spirit assigned by God to every person from the moment of baptism. This Guardian Angel is invisibly with the Christian entrusted to him throughout his earthly life.

An Orthodox Christian had to know the life of the saint after whom he was named, to annually celebrate the day of his name day, to follow the righteous life of his saint. Long time in Russia there was a custom to give, in addition to the Christian name, a pagan one. It was believed that Christian name provides the protection of an angel. But in order for the attacks of harmful spirits to go, as it were, on another, a person often became better known under a pagan name than under a Christian one. Often the parents themselves, especially in those families where children often died, gave the child offensive, teasing nicknames, ugly names so that this name would scare away evil spirits. To choose lucky name, wondered: they recognized the name in a dream or called out to the child - what name he responded to, they gave it.

In the morning, the birthday man or the birthday girl sent birthday cakes to the guests; the nobility of the person to whom the pie was sent was measured by the size of the pie sent. The cake served as a kind of invitation to a name day. The one who brought the pies put them on the table and said: "The birthday man ordered to bow to the pies and asked for bread to eat." Sweet pies were usually sent to godfathers and mothers as a sign of special respect.

At the birthday tables, the invited guests sang for many years, and after the feast, the birthday king, for his part, presented the guests. After the feast, the guests danced, played cards, sang.

6. housewarming

Crossing the threshold of a new home, a person seems to be entering a new life. Whether this life will be prosperous depends on the observance by the new settlers of many signs. It is believed that if necessary rites when you move in, then life in the new house will develop happily. By tradition, the eldest in the family not only started construction, but was also the first to cross the threshold of a new house.

If there were old people in the family, then the oldest of them became this very victim for the gods. The old man entered the house before everyone else. Because the pagans believed: the first one to enter the house will be the first to go to the realm of the dead.

Then paganism was replaced by Christianity and customs also changed. The cat was the first to enter the house. Why is she? It was believed that this beast is known with all evil spirits. And in a newly built house, evil spirits can live, so you need to let someone in who is not afraid of them and to whom they will not do anything. And since the cat is connected with them, then she has nothing to be afraid of. They also believed that a cat always finds the best corner in the house. Where the cat lay down, then the owner and the hostess arranged their sleeping place or placed a crib.

Not only a cat was allowed into the new house. The rooster was supposed to spend the first night in the built dwelling. People were afraid to be the first to spend the night in the house - they were afraid of evil spirits. But the rooster just drove her away with his singing in the morning. But then an unenviable fate awaited him - a jelly was prepared from a rooster, which was served at the festive table.

And yet, the cat and the rooster were not the best defenders from evil spirits. The most important guardian of the house was considered, of course, the brownie. Moving from the old house, people called him with them. Even lured with different treats. For example, porridge. It was prepared in the evening in the oven of the house they were about to leave. A little porridge was put in a bowl especially for the brownie, in order to appease him, to call him in this way to a new home. The owners themselves did not eat the cooked porridge, but kept it until the next day. They sat down for a meal only in the new house. Before sitting at the table, an icon and a loaf were brought into the house. The icon was placed in the so-called red corner.

If the owners wanted the brownie to move from their old home to a new one, they simply took a broom with them. It was believed that then the brownie would definitely come to a new place. Leaving a broom is a bad omen. After all, with this broom, the woman diligently swept all the rubbish out of the old house, which she then burned and scattered in the wind. This was done so that no one would spoil the left debris or ashes. The broom was later to be useful to the hostess again. She swept a new hut for them. Only after that the old broom was burned.

The Slavs assigned a special place to the new loaf loaf on the table - in the center. A lush loaf adorned with rowan or viburnum berries lay on red and green towels. After all, red is a symbol of well-being, and green is longevity.

Guests must bring bread with them. Or a small pie. This is necessary so that everyone in the new house is always full and rich.

7. Russcue orthodox burial rite

Death is the last earthly destiny of every person; after death, the soul, separated from the body, appears before the judgment of God. Believers in Christ do not want to die unrepentant, for in the afterlife sins will become a heavy, painful burden. The repose of the soul of the deceased depends on the correct implementation of the burial rite, and therefore it is extremely important to know and observe the smallest details funeral ritual.

communion

It is necessary to invite a priest to a seriously ill person, who will confess him and take communion, perform the sacrament of unction over him. In the sacrament of confession (from the word to confess, that is, to tell another about oneself), the penitent is given remission of sins through the permissive prayer of a priest who has received grace from Christ to forgive sins on earth so that they can be forgiven in heaven. A dying person who no longer speaks the language and cannot confess, the priest can resolve from sins (forgiveness of sins), if the sick person himself ordered to call a confessor. In the sacrament of communion, a person, under the guise of bread and wine, receives the Holy Mysteries - the Body and Blood of Christ, thus becoming a partaker of Christ. The Holy Mysteries are called Holy Gifts - because They are an invaluable Divine Gift of the Savior Christ to people. The sick are communed at any time - the priest brings into the house spare Gifts, which are kept in the church.

Unction

Unction (originally performed by an assembly of priests), or unction, is a sacrament in which, with sevenfold anointing with consecrated oil ( vegetable oil) the grace of God descends on a sick person, healing his bodily and spiritual infirmities. If the priest managed to anoint the dying at least once, the sacrament of unction is considered completed.

At the very moment of death, a person experiences a painful feeling of fear. When leaving the body, the soul meets not only the Guardian Angel given to it in Holy Baptism, but also demons, the terrible appearance of which makes one tremble. To pacify the restless soul, relatives and friends of a person leaving this world can themselves read a waste over him - in the Prayer Book this collection of songs-prayers is called "The canon of prayer when the soul is separated from the body." The canon ends with a prayer from the priest (priest), read for the exodus of the soul, for its release from all bonds, liberation from any oath, for the forgiveness of sins and peace in the abodes of the saints. This prayer is supposed to be read only by the priest.

burial

Not a single nation left the bodies of their dead without care - the law on burial and the rites corresponding to it was sacred for all. The rites performed by the Orthodox Church over the deceased Christian have a deep meaning and significance, since they are based on the revelations of the holy faith (that is, open, bequeathed by the Lord Himself), known from the apostles - disciples and followers of Jesus Christ.

Funeral rites Orthodox Church they bring consolation, serve as symbols in which the idea of the general resurrection and the future immortal life is expressed. The essence of the Orthodox burial rite lies in the Church's view of the body as a temple of the soul sanctified by grace, the present life as a time of preparation for the future life, and death as a dream, upon awakening from which eternal life will come.

Remembrance of the dead

Commemoration is carried out on the third, ninth and fortieth day, since at the indicated time the soul of the deceased appears before the Lord. For the first three days after death, the soul roams the earth, visiting places where the deceased committed sins or righteous deeds. From the third to the ninth day, the soul wanders among the paradise. From the ninth to the fortieth day, she is in hell, watching the torment of sinners. On the fortieth day, the question of determining the whereabouts of the soul in the afterlife is finally resolved.

The commemoration of the deceased is also carried out on the anniversary of death, on the days of earthly birth and on name days. The Church has established special days of remembrance - ecumenical memorial services:

The Saturday before Meatfare Week (Meatfare Saturday), two weeks before Lent, is celebrated as a commemoration of all the dead sudden death- during floods, earthquakes, wars;

Trinity Saturday - on the fortieth day after Easter - for all Christians;

Dimitrov Saturday (the day of Dmitry Solunsky) - a week before November 8, established by Dmitry Donskoy in memory of those who died on the Kulikovo field;

Second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent;

Radonitsa (Tuesday of St. Thomas Week) when for the first time after Easter cemeteries are visited, where visitors carry colored eggs and where they tell the dead the news of the resurrection of Christ.

By decree of Catherine II of 1769 (the time of the war with the Turks and Poles), the all-Russian commemoration of all the dead soldiers is carried out on the day of the beheading of John the Baptist (September 11). The canonical attributes of the funeral feast are: kutya, pancakes, jelly, milk.

Literature

1. http://studopedia.ru

2. http://www.twirpx.com

3. http://area7.ru

4.https://en.wikipedia.org

5. http://history.ya1.ru

6. http://wm-changer.ru

7. L.I. Brudnaya, Z.M. Gurevich "Encyclopedia of rituals and customs", St. Petersburg: "Respeks", 1997;

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Features of family rituals

The basis of all family rituals of Belarusians is the history and life of the people. Their path of development is very long, and they managed to keep traces of beliefs, worldviews, family and social structure. Family rituals reflect way of life, household norms and customs of the clan, family. All family rituals were distinguished by a clear structure, and each nation always and strictly observed them.

The main family traditions have always been and remain the sacrament of baptism, weddings, and funerals. Wedding ceremonies were represented by the pre-wedding, actually wedding and post-wedding part. The funeral rite consisted of pre-burial ritual actions, funeral rites and commemoration.

All folk rituals are still alive, they are permeated with earthly needs and spiritual ideas, symbols, they are endowed with feelings and rich images.

Thanks to family rituals, the character of family relations, psychology and behavior of people were formed.

All family rituals have an educational function, and for each nation, rituals are a sacred property that every person cherishes.

Varieties of family rituals

In Russian family traditions of Belarusians since paganism, there is a reflection of the full family cycle, consisting of their baptism, wedding and funeral. In the old days, each family ritual was endowed with magical properties that served reliable protection man from evil forces.

The sacrament of baptism. Already in the first months of life in Rus', the baptism of a child was an obligatory and strict rule.

Today, Baptism in the Orthodox Church is performed by immersing your head three times in a font of holy water with the words "In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

When performing the sacrament of baptism, several ritual actions are performed, endowed with a symbolic spiritual meaning:

first, the person being baptized turns to face the west - the symbol of darkness, this is done so that he renounces Satan;
then the baby is anointed with oil before immersion in the font, which symbolizes invincibility in the fight against Satan;
then the person being baptized is immersed in water and the Holy Spirit gives the seed of Life and cleansing from sins;
after that, a cross is placed on the chest, so the baptized will constantly remember the cross as a symbol of salvation;
then the Russian ceremony of dressing up in white clothes takes place, so the baptized person receives cleansing from sins, and from that moment his life should become pious;
after dressing up, the baptized person passes around the font three times, which symbolizes eternity;
then the hair is cut, so the newly baptized surrenders to the will of the Lord.

Another important Russian tradition in the life of every person should be called the system of wedding ceremonies that serve to consolidate the marriage. In Russia, this system appeared in the fifteenth century. Boys at that time married at the age of twenty-four, and girls married at the age of eighteen.

Conventionally, Russian wedding ceremonies are represented by pre-wedding, directly wedding and post-wedding ceremonies:

the beginning of Russian wedding ceremonies is matchmaking, in which a preliminary agreement is obtained from the bride's relatives for the wedding;
then the bridegroom passed, when the groom and the groom's parents could see the future bride and evaluate her positive and negative qualities;
the final agreement regarding the wedding was reached through the rite of handshaking;
after that followed the Russian rite of ritual lamentation - wailing, the purpose of which was to show that life was happy in the bride’s house and now she had to say goodbye to him, through wailing the girl said goodbye to her friends, parents and her freedom;
the day before the wedding, a bachelorette party was held, when friends came to the bride and helped sew gifts for the groom, the whole evening was accompanied by wedding songs;
on the day of the wedding, it was customary to conduct a ransom ceremony, which has been preserved to this day, the groom was obliged to take the bride out of the house;
after the ransom, the most important part of the wedding ceremonies took place - the wedding, in which the bride and groom received a Christian blessing and became husband and wife for the rest of their lives;
the wedding ceremony was celebrated with a wedding feast, accompanied by food, drink and merry jokes;
The final Russian wedding ceremony should be called “bread and salt”, with which the bride’s parents meet the newlyweds.

At the same time, the mother-in-law or mother-in-law offers the young to bite off a piece of loaf. This rite is a symbol of the fact that from this moment the young become crumbs of one bread.

The final ceremony in Orthodox tradition should be called a funeral. As shown in the established traditions, the deceased person was washed, dressed in clean clothes that he never wore, then the deceased was laid on the bench with his head towards the red corner where the icons were, covered with a white canvas, and his hands were folded on his chest. According to ancient Russian traditions, the funeral after the onset of death should be held on the third day.

The especially revered dead were carried on their hands to the very cemetery.

Whole funeral rite accompanied by weeping and wailing. The end of the funeral was a commemoration or feast with special memorial dishes. Already at the cemetery of the deceased, it was necessary to commemorate the kutya. Almost all Russian commemorations in Rus' were accompanied by pancakes.

The importance of family rituals in human life

Each family ritual, which has been observed by man for centuries, had certain pedagogical functions. With the help of them, the younger generation got acquainted with the household duties of each family member, with the rules of conduct in married life, with preparation for motherhood, with moral standards people and many others.

This transfer of knowledge was carried out not by lessons and instructions, but by clear examples of the behavior of adults, where no explanations were needed. Thus, each child adopted a pattern of this or that behavior, becoming a direct participant in the rituals.

Traditions are not only what distinguishes one people from another, but also what can unite the most different people. The family traditions of the Russian people are the most interesting part of the history and culture of the Russian state, which introduces us to the experience of our ancestors. Let's start with the fact that the family traditions of Russia have never done without the science of genealogy: it was a shame not to know the genealogy, and the most offensive nickname was considered "Ivan, who does not remember kinship." Drawing up a detailed genealogy, your family tree was an integral part of the traditions of each family. When cameras appeared, people began to compile and then store family albums. This custom has successfully come down to our days - probably, most of them have old albums with photographs of relatives dear to their hearts, perhaps already deceased. By the way, to honor the memory of your relatives, to commemorate those who left this world, also belong to the original Russian traditions, as well as constant care for elderly parents. The transfer of things belonging to distant (and not so) ancestors to their descendants can also be called a long-standing Russian tradition. For example, great-grandmother's box or great-grandfather's watch are family heirlooms that are kept for many years in a secluded corner of the house. The history of things becomes not only the property of a single family, but also the history of the people and the entire Motherland as a whole. There is also a wonderful custom to name a child after one of the family members (there are so-called " family names"). In addition, our unique tradition is the assignment of a patronymic. When a baby is born, he immediately receives a part of the family name by the "nickname" of his father. The patronymic distinguishes a person from the namesake, sheds light on kinship (son-father) and expresses respect.

To call someone by their patronymic means to be polite to them. The name can also be given according to church books, calendars, in honor of the saint who is honored on the child's birthday. But family traditions, examples of which are practically not found at present, are old professional dynasties(that is, when all family members were engaged in some one type of activity). Whole dynasties of hereditary bakers, confectioners, military men, shoemakers, carpenters, priests, artists are known. And now I would like to analyze the family rituals that have become mandatory and have survived to this day practically without changing their traditions. Namely:

1. - traditions of the wedding ceremony

2. - traditions of the rite of birth of a baby into the world

3. - traditions of the funeral rite, so:

1) Traditions of the wedding ceremony

The wedding can be seen and heard from afar. It is difficult to find a more colorful and cheerful ritual, in which there would be so much joy and jubilation. This is not accidental, because the triumph of love is celebrated, the beginning new family. Even today, when everything comes down most often to just visiting the registry office, several memorable places and a feast, this holiday attracts everyone's attention with its very elegance. And if it contains elements of an old folk wedding ceremony, then it becomes an action at all.

Now, of the pre-wedding, actual wedding and post-wedding ceremonies, only wedding ceremonies are best known. But the interest in traditions is great - and now we hear old laudatory songs, jokes. But how did this sparkling action take place before, in compliance with all the rules - from collusions and rubbing to the prince's table and allotments?

The bride was supposed to cry as soon as matchmakers appeared in the house. By this she showed her love for father's house, to parents. A few days before the marriage, the groom's parents go to the bride's parents for a handshake. And again she wails about how bad it will be for her on the wrong side. Before the wedding - a bachelorette party. The groom arrives with gifts; everyone except the bride is having fun, not paying much attention to her crying. The day of marriage is the most solemn. The bride who continues to lament is prepared for the crown, the groom is also dressed in the best and at the same time guarded. Guests gather in the bride's house, a talkative friend arrives with the groom, "redeems" a place at the table. After long negotiations, flavored with jokes, jokes, they go to church: the groom separately, the bride separately. After the wedding, the bride stops crying: the deed is done. The newlyweds are taken to the groom's house, where the groom's parents are already waiting for them: the father with the icon and the mother with the icon and bread and salt. On the second day - the "princely table" in the groom's house. The third day is a family day, as well as a meeting of the bride with her neighbors. And, finally, the father-in-law calls his son-in-law with his relatives, the young woman says goodbye to her parents; diversion (wedding ranks) take the newlyweds to their home. On this, the wedding ceremony is considered completed. Conspiracies When the matchmaker decides the matter, i.e. agree with the bride's relatives on what conditions the bride is given away, with what dowry and conclusion, - they also agree at what time to come to the bride's house for "conspiracies". It should be noted that collusions, or drinking, or a word, are always given in the bride's house. When the brides who are wooing come to the house, then at that time a lot of people - neighbors - come. Conspiracies (or drinking) are very short: they drink tea and wine, have a snack, take a handkerchief and a ring from the bride, and then the matchmakers leave. The people and girl friends remain. The bride is brought and seated in the front corner, at the table, where she must cry and lament. At all the time when the "conspiracy" is betrothed, until the wedding, her relatives do not force her to do anything.

After the arrangements, every day the bride sits down at the table and cries, wailing. Girlfriends almost all the time at the "conspiracy" sew a dowry - linen and dresses. Hand-beating at the appointed time, three or four days before the marriage, there is hand-beating. A matchmaker or a matchmaker with the father and mother of the groom, accompanied by relatives, go or go to the father and mother of the bride to the house for feasting - for handshaking. Those who came at the invitation of the host sit down at a table covered with a tablecloth. On it are a folded pie and salt on a plate. The matchmaker takes the right hands of the matchmakers (the father of the groom and the father of the bride) and joins them hand in hand, taking a pie from the table, wraps it around the hands of the matchmakers, saying three times: "The deed is done, strengthened with bread and salt, forever and ever." He breaks the cake over his hands, and then gives one half to the father of the groom, and the other to the father of the bride. After breaking the cake, the matchmakers sometimes measure whose half is larger - the right or left (the right one is the groom, and the left one is the bride). There is a sign: if half is larger, then that one has more strength, happiness, health, longevity and wealth. The broken cake should be kept by the bride and groom until the day of marriage, and after the wedding, the newlyweds should eat it, first of all, but the groom should eat half of the bride, and the bride - the groom. After the pie is broken, the matchmakers sit down at the table, and the feast begins. During the breaking of the cake, the bride is brought under a scarf and seated on a bench, while her friends stand near her or sit. After the handshake, the groom visits the bride every day. The bride meets the groom, treats her with tea, sits at the table, and the groom brings gifts and snacks, goodies: nuts, gingerbread and sweets. All such visits by the groom to the bride are called "visiting", "kissing" and "seeing". This is how the visits of the groom continue until the bachelorette party, in which the triumph surpasses all visits, because this is the last day of maiden life. The bachelorette party happens on the last day or evening before the wedding. Friends come to the bride for a bachelorette party, even relatives and friends from other villages come. Before the groom and other guests, the matchmaker arrives from the groom with a chest or box, which contains various gifts for the bride, as well as gifts for girlfriends, children and other spectators who came to see the bachelorette party. The bride meets the groom dressed in her best dress. Girls sing songs. At the end of the bachelorette party, the groom leaves with his guests, and the people disperse.

The newlyweds, both before the first table after the marriage, and the princes, so as not to arouse their appetite, are fed separately, which is called "feeding the young in a special place." Spoiled guests at the prince's table often turn to the newlyweds and say: "Bitter, very bitter!", They ask: "Can't you sweeten it?" The newlyweds should stand up, bow, kiss crosswise, say: "Eat, now it's sweet!" Guests finish drinking from a glass or a glass and say: “Now it’s very sweet,” and then they come up to the newlyweds and kiss them. Thus, at the prince's table, only "bitter" is heard, and therefore there is no end to kisses. The guests-spouses, not content with "sweetening" the newlyweds, ask for the word "bitterly" the husband to his wife, the wife to her husband, and also "sweeten" - they kiss. A lot of strangers come to see the prince's table. For poor hosts, when there is one table after marriage, but there is no princely table, all ceremonies and customs take place at the first table after marriage, as at a prince. Third day: Very few of the new relatives remain on the third day. The third day looks like a family holiday. In the morning, the young woman is forced to cook and bake pancakes, which she serves from the stove to the table. After dinner, in the evening, girls, young women and boys are going to sit with the newlyweds. Young people sing songs different games and they dance. At this evening meeting, the newlywed gets to know the neighbors and treats them: pancakes, pies, gingerbread and nuts. Otvodina so-called otvodina are usually a week after the wedding.

The wife's parents are father-in-law and mother-in-law to her husband (son-in-law). The wife's brother is her brother-in-law to her husband (his son-in-law). And the wife's sister is a sister-in-law. Therefore, the same person is a son-in-law - father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and sister-in-law. The daughter-in-law, she is also the daughter-in-law, is the son's wife in relation to the son's parents. Daughter-in-law - from the word son: "sons" - "son". A brother's wife is also called a daughter-in-law. The wives of two brothers are also daughters-in-law among themselves. Thus, a woman can be a daughter-in-law in relation to her father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Aunt (aunt, aunt) - the sister of the father or mother. An uncle is the brother of the father or mother. Depending on this, they say about him, like about an aunt, with a clarification: "paternal uncle", "maternal uncle". Often, the younger ones are called the elder's uncle, regardless of kinship. stepmother - no own mother children, the second wife of his father. Husband's children from his first marriage - stepmother's stepsons and stepdaughters. A stepfather is not a father, a father by mother, the second husband of the mother. To the stepfather, his wife's children from his first marriage are stepsons and stepdaughters. Shurin, he is Shuryak, Shuryaga is the brother of his wife. Brother-in-law is the husband's brother. A brother-in-law and a sister-in-law are to a wife what brother-in-law and sister-in-law are to a husband. The sister-in-law is the sister of the husband. In some places, the brother's wife is also called that. The sister-in-law usually points out the young, commands her. Hence the very word sister-in-law - from "zlovka". The sister-in-law is the sister of the wife, and her husband is the brother-in-law. Two men married to sisters are also called brother-in-laws. This relationship was considered not very reliable, so they said: "Two brothers - for a bear, two brothers-in-law - for jelly." Yatrov (aka Yatrovitsa) is the wife of a brother-in-law. But that's the name of the brother-in-law's wife. The brother's wife in relation to the brother-in-law and the sister-in-law is also a yatrov. And the wives of brothers among themselves are also Yagprovi. Kum, Kum - godfathers and mother. They are in spiritual kinship not only among themselves, but also in relation to the parents and relatives of their godson. That is, nepotism is not blood, but spiritual kinship. There are other degrees of kinship in the Russian people, more distant, about which they say that this is "the seventh (or tenth) water on jelly." Sometimes in big family they themselves hardly figure out who is brought to whom by whom, and here derivatives from the word their own come to the rescue: in-laws, in-laws, in-laws. Wedding superstitions: When crowns are put on the spouses and the priest says: "God's servant such and such is getting married," then the latter should be baptized and say quietly: "I, the servant of God (name), get married, but my illnesses do not get married." The people believe that if the spouses have some kind of illness and are married to them, then they will never be cured.

When from the crown the young woman is brought into the house to the father-in-law, he and the mother-in-law meet the newlyweds at the gate; the first of them gives the young man a vial of wine or beer in his hands, and the last one slowly puts the newlywed pie in her bosom and throws hops under her feet. The newlyweds must eat the pie in half before wedding table, on the "special". This is done so that they live their whole lives full, in love and harmony, and hops crumble under their feet so that they live a century of fun. "Both at the first table, and at the prince, the newlyweds must twist their legs or cross their legs - so that a cat does not run between them, otherwise the young will disagree, like a cat with a dog."

2) Traditions of the rite of birth of a baby into the world.

Shortly before the birth, the day and hour of birth were especially tried to hide. Even the maternity prayer was hidden in a hat and only then taken to the priest in the church.

Our ancestors believed that birth, like death, breaks the invisible boundary between the worlds of the dead and the living. Therefore, such dangerous business there was nothing to happen near human dwellings. Among many peoples, a woman in labor retired to the forest or to the tundra so as not to harm anyone. And the Slavs usually gave birth not in the house, but in another room, most often in a well-heated bathhouse. The family said goodbye to the mother, realizing the danger to which her life was exposed. The puerperal was laid near the washstand and given a sash tied to a beam of platy in her hand to hold on. During all the time of childbirth, wedding or baptismal candles were lit in front of the holy icons.

In order for the mother's body to better open up and release the child, the woman's hair was untwisted, doors and chests were opened in the hut, knots were untied, and locks were opened. Undoubtedly, it helped psychologically.

The expectant mother was usually assisted by an elderly woman, a midwife experienced in such matters. An indispensable condition was that she herself had healthy children, preferably boys.

In addition, the husband was often present during childbirth. Now this custom is returning to us as an experiment borrowed from abroad. Meanwhile, the Slavs did not see anything unusual in having a strong, reliable, beloved and loving person next to a suffering, frightened woman.

The husband of the puerperal was assigned a special role during childbirth: first of all, he had to take off his boot from right leg wife and let her drink, then untie the belt, and then press the knee to the back of the woman in labor to speed up the birth.

Our ancestors also had a custom similar to the so-called kuvada of the peoples of Oceania: the husband often screamed and moaned instead of his wife. Why?! By this, the husband aroused the possible attention of evil forces, distracting them from the woman in labor!

After safe delivery midwife buried children's place in the corner of the hut or in the yard.

Immediately after birth, the mother touched the baby's mouth with her heel and said: "I wore it myself, I brought it myself, I repaired it myself." This was done so that the child grew up calm. Immediately after this, the midwife cut the umbilical cord, tied it and spoke to the hernia, biting the navel 3 times and spitting 3 times over the left shoulder. If it was a boy, the umbilical cord was cut on an ax handle or an arrow so that he would grow up as a hunter and artisan. If the girl is on a spindle, so that she grows up as a needlewoman. They tied the navel with a linen thread woven with the hair of the mother and father. "Tie" - in Old Russian "twist"; that's where the "midwives", "midwives" come from.

After the hernia was spoken, the baby was washed, saying: “Grow up - from a beam of height and an oven - thickness!” Usually an egg or some kind of glass thing was put into the water for a boy, and only a glass one for a girl. Sometimes silver was put into the barely heated water, so as not to burn, for purification and so that the child would grow up rich. So that the baby would not be jinxed, they washed it for the first time in water, slightly whitened with milk, then “for wealth” they put it on an inside-out sheepskin coat. Washing the baby, the midwife "straightened his limbs" - corrected the head, which is usually soft as wax. In many ways, it depended on her ability to be a child: round-headed, long-faced, or generally ugly. After washing the baby, they swaddled him in a long narrow sling and headband. If they were afraid that the baby would be restless, they swaddled him in his father's ports. In order for the baby to grow beautiful and comely, they covered him with a green cloth. At first, the baby was left "free", and he lay somewhere on the bench until he got worried, screamed and "asked for fluctuations." Zybka is an oval box made of bast, with a bottom made of thin boards, which the father had to make. If the birth took place in a hut, then the baby was handed over to the father first, and he laid him on the shank, as if thereby recognizing his paternity.

The next day after the birth, neighbors and acquaintances came to the happy mother with congratulations and brought her various sweets “by the tooth”. A week later, and sometimes already on the third day, the puerperal returned to her household duties - but only after performing a cleansing ceremony known as "washing hands." If a young mother had to go to work in the field, then the care of the newborn was entrusted to the "nursery" from the home - the old woman, and most often - the little sister girl.

3) Funeral rite.

Funeral is considered the most ancient of family rites. For condition analysis funeral tradition and genre of reckoning, the Starorussky district was chosen as the place of the most ancient settlement of the Slavs in this territory and Okulovsky, settled by the Novgorodians somewhat later, but located in the central part of the Novgorod region.

Researchers of funeral and memorial rites of the XIX-XX centuries. more than once noted certain discrepancies between the religious and folk interpretation of death, the relationship between the body and soul of the deceased, the road to the afterlife and ideas about it, and the attitude to the cult of ancestors. The Christian interpretation of death as a blessing on the way to the "kingdom of heaven" was opposed by the popular idea of it as a "villain", a hostile force. Funeral and memorial ceremony Eastern Slavs included several highlights: actions before death and at the time of death; washing and dressing the deceased and placing him in the coffin; removal from the house; funeral service in the church (if it was performed), burial, commemoration. Thus, with all the regional differences in the funeral and memorial rituals of the Eastern Slavs, three main stages were distinguished in it: pre-burial, funeral and memorial, each of which, in addition to practical, could have a different meaning. Thus, the procedure for washing the deceased, in addition to hygiene, had a sacred, magical orientation.

The attitude towards the dead has always been ambivalent. They were afraid of him and therefore sought to facilitate the transition to another world for the deceased, as well as to protect themselves with the help of various magical actions from possible negative consequences when in contact with him.

Signs and predictions that foreshadowed the death of a particular person or someone close were similar among the East Slavic peoples. They were interpreted as the beginning of a new period of time in life cycle man - "the magic of the first day." Until now, the harbingers of the death of a loved one are considered the extraordinary behavior of domestic animals, birds, broken mirror, ejection of a flower by a houseplant that never blooms, a bird beating out the window, creaking of beams, furniture, etc.

The death of a person was perceived as the relocation of the soul to another space - to the afterlife. It was believed that the souls of an adult and a child are different. Death in Russian folklore tradition perceived as an enemy. This was preserved in the texts recorded in the late 70s - mid-80s. In lamentations, death is called a "villain", a "murderer", who does not make concessions, does not heed prayers and requests. The dead sleeps, remaining a man (the dead - calm person), however, if the deceased's eyes were open, they were closed and placed over the eyelids copper nickels. It is quite possible that this was also connected with a kind of ransom from death, for it was believed that the deceased was looking for one of the living people or even animals left in the house, wanting to take them with him. In such cases, they usually said: "He looks - he will watch someone." Coins (pyataks) were then left in the coffin. Interestingly, the ransom in this rite also manifested itself in a different way, for example, if the body of a drowned person could not be found for a long time, then there was a custom to throw silver money into the water in order to redeem it from the water.

At the funeral of those who did not have time to marry funeral rite in certain ways combined with the wedding. Among Ukrainians, a girl was buried as a bride, and a guy as a groom. The head of the girl was decorated with flowers and ribbons. Both the guy and the girl were put on a metal ring on their right hand, but this was not done in relation to a married man and a married woman. Among the Ukrainians of Primorye, in such a case, a flower was pinned to a guy’s hat or chest. Both the young man and the girl were carried to the cemetery by young guys who had scarves tied on their right hands, as at the wedding of the elders. Other elements of the wedding ceremony were also used, in particular, something like a wedding procession was arranged with all the characters of the wedding celebration: matchmaker, friends, boyars, etc. In a number of Russian regions, married women were also buried in a specially kept wedding dress. This custom was also found in the Far East.

At the cemetery, towels were untied, and the coffin was lowered into the grave on them. Then one towel was hung on the cross erected on the grave, the others were given to the funeral directors. Leaving the towel - a symbol of the path, the road - performed a protective action. Before the coffin was lowered into the grave, relatives threw a penny there (in the old days, silver), which meant that they bought themselves a place next to the deceased, and everyone else threw copper, while saying: "Here's your share - don't ask for more" . In fact, this can be seen as a ransom. However, it was believed that the deceased needed the money in order to pay for transportation across a river or lake to the next world. It is known that the image of the river and the crossing in the folklore consciousness is traditional not only for Russian, but also for world culture.

In the modern funeral rite, the contours of the old, still pagan rite are visible, but it is also noticeable that the magical content of the ritual action has largely been erased. The traditional funeral rite was always accompanied by lamentations (weeping). In the Novgorod region, they sometimes say about the prichet "to cry at the voice", and in the Starorussky district they say "voice", "silence". One can note a clear decline in the tradition of pricheti from the 70s to the 90s. In the mid-1990s, cries were recorded less and less frequently. Lamentations do not have a stable text. In them, the improvisational principle and, consequently, the poetic abilities of the mourners themselves play an important role.

In lamentations, death was called a villain, the coffin was called a domina or domina, the road was a long, irrevocable path. The dead were washed by neighbors or relatives with plain water and soap, wiped with a towel, they believed that sins were forgiven for washing. They thanked the washing lady and gave her what they could. The people who washed the deceased dressed the deceased. The clothes were prepared in advance. They were necessarily buried in the clothes that the deceased bequeathed, fulfilling the will of the deceased. The deceased was put on soft shoes, most often slippers. The dead man goes there to live, so he must look good.

Until the position of the deceased in the coffin, he was placed on a bench, a sheet of self-woven linen was spread under him. While the deceased was lying in the house, an icon was placed in the coffin, it was taken from the coffin to the cemetery and brought home. On the day of the funeral, they scattered to the road fir branches so that the deceased walks along a clean road (spruce is a clean tree), then the branches are burned. The body was carried out of the house on hands, feet first. The deceased was carried to the cemetery - it was considered more respectful to carry.

coffin carried even number human. Relatives followed the coffin, and then everyone else. The grave was dug on the day of the funeral, but it was not the relatives who did it. The coffin was lowered into the grave on towels, and then they were left in the pit (grave). The memorial meal depended on the fast. The post was to be prepared lean food. After the funeral, mourning clothes were worn for forty days: black dress, black scarf. It was believed that the soul of the deceased is in the house for forty days. They celebrated the ninth, twentieth, fortieth days, half a year, a year with a wake.