What should I do if my child is not doing well in school? What should parents do if their child is not doing well in school?

A child's progress in school is a matter of pride for parents, because everyone wants to see their child successful, smart and talented. However, not all children study well and become excellent students. How to respond to a student's bad grades, is it worth scolding him for it, and how to make sure that the child does his homework without coercion? We will discuss these issues in detail in this article.

Learning to adequately respond to bad grades of the child

Often moms and dads are interested in the questionIs it worth scolding a child for bad grades?Psychologists advise not to scold or punish. Even if it makes you very sad, do not throw out a bunch of reproaches, disapproval and accusations on your son or daughter. Usually, children perceive such a reaction from their parents as an assessment of their personality, which in the future can significantly reduce their self-confidence.
In addition, the child next time will think about whether it is necessary to tell you about a bad mark or is it better to hide this fact so as not to run into your anger. In the future, he will most likely hide from you other not the best situations that can happen to him. Therefore, in order to become a friend to your child, you need to build a trusting relationship with him.
Ifchild does poorly in school, no need to flatter yourself with the illusion that everything will somehow be decided by itself. Underachievement signals certain problems with your student, so you should definitely find out the reason for what is happening.
Don't do homework for your child. The question is not that there is no need to help and explain. This is exactly what should be done when necessary. But if you do all the lessons for the child, you do not bring him good, but only exacerbate the problem.
So, what is the algorithm for solving the problem of poor progress?
Find out from your child how he is doing at school, what they teach, what he likes and what causes difficulties, what are his impressions of teachers and relationships with classmates. Moreover, such communication should be constant, and not occur only when the child does not study well at school.
Try to calmly and with the help of unobtrusive questions find out the circumstances under which the child received a two or three: what was the topic of the lesson, what question did the student fail to answer correctly, did he worry about the answer, and so on.
Tell your child that you are upset by a bad grade, but you are ready to help him cope with this trouble. Among other things, do not forget to thank him for his frankness and honesty.
Now we need to find the root of the problem. Here, of course, you will also need the participation of the child. Most likely, he did not have time to understand the topic of the subject, or he missed something. If a child does not study well, the reason may be his self-doubt. Perhaps he was simply confused and shy to speak in front of the class. Poor progress can also be the result of poor health of the baby or lack of contact with the teacher.
When the cause is found, it's time to correct the situation. Help your child study the material if needed.
If the issue is psychological nature, reassure the child and find words to boost his self-confidence. Tell your son or daughter that getting a bad grade doesn't mean being bad for others. That the score itself simply shows the degree of mastery educational material, and you can learn it and correct the assessment. Do not hesitate - you will definitely be able to cheer up the child. After all, who knows your child better than yourself?
In addition, explain to the student that you need to ask the teacher for the opportunity to retake the material. Thus, he will show the teacher his indifference to a bad mark and a desire to learn.

How to teach a child to do homework willingly?

After the child returns from school, let him rest for an hour or two or take a walk on the street. Since 4-5 hours at the desk and at home right at the desk is already too much. Picking up the kid from school, you do not need to talk with him first of all about lessons or homework. Better find another interesting topic for communication. Classes in a circle or section after school - also a good option change of activity.
The child does not want to do homework? Let him know that the fulfillment of the tasks assigned at school is for him the same important and serious work as for adults their work. Thus, you simultaneously teach the child to be responsible.
Do not tear your child away from lessons by entrusting him with some lengthy housework. However, the baby should in no way sit at the table for hours continuously, because this negatively affects his health. Pauses in study are necessary, so you can, for example, ask him to water the flowers or give some other quick and easy task.
Threats, reproaches and punishments are not an option. They can bring only a short-term effect. The child will simply do homework "under pressure", and this will not change him in any way true attitude to the situation.
Doing homework should not be a way to punish a child for bad behavior. But also you should not use it as blackmail: "If you do your homework, let's go to the rides." Otherwise, the acquisition of knowledge will not be considered by the child as something valuable and useful for him, but only as a means of achieving personal selfish goals.
You should not give your son or daughter any additional tasks to the ones he got in school. And do not "run ahead of the engine", studying with the baby the material that he has not yet passed. Everything has its time.
Whenthe child does not want to do homework, tell him that he can rely on your help. But this does not mean that you will do everything for him.
Be sure to encourage your baby. “You will certainly cope”, “I believe in you, everything will work out for you”, “You will certainly master this task” - such phrases will instill confidence in the child, and he will become more willing to learn lessons. Remember that praise is a great motivator, so don't forget to praise your student for a successful homework assignment.

For loving parent children's performance in school often becomes an end in itself and a way to determine their future success.

That is why so often situations arise when a child does not study well: what to do and how to deal with poor progress, most parents do not know. Threats or long conversations are increasingly used as an argument for children. But what if the baby cannot learn all the information already in the 1st grade?

What is the reason for poor performance?

Very often, parents begin to worry that the child is not studying well when the appearance of twos and threes in the diary becomes the norm. And the later the clarification begins real problems the later the attention of parents switches from domestic problems on your child, the less likely it is to correct the situation.

Some of the most common reasons for poor performance include:

• Lack of proper preschool preparation. It's about not mandatory preschool education, but that a first-grader should go to school prepared, having general idea about the learning process, about his rights and obligations, about why he, a mobile and active kid, should sit through 45-minute lessons.

• Too complicated program. Too ambitious parents often arrange their children in gymnasiums, specialized schools and math classes even when the student himself does not show interest in learning and does not demonstrate proper abilities. What to do if in the 4th grade everyone solves equations, and the baby has difficulty even with the simplest tasks? At first, parental assistance is enough, but the child will not have to study for a year or two. Systematic underachievement, for which the student himself cannot be blamed, can be detrimental to his interest in new knowledge.

• Relationship problems with the teacher. Despite the fact that most teachers work according to their vocation, student-teacher conflicts are a fairly common cause of poor progress and poor grades in a particular subject. If there is no mutual understanding and respect between the student and the teacher, then there can be no question of any full-fledged learning process.

• Relationship problems with parents. The parents themselves, who should wish only the best for the child, often become a direct or indirect reason for his poor progress. Sometimes children get triples and deuces "to spite" their parents, who limit them in some way or forbid something. Sometimes poor academic performance is perceived by the child as an attempt to attract attention.

• Boredom. Often, children who, from the beginning of their studies, everything turns out too easily and simply, gradually lose interest in learning. Such kids are already in the 3rd grade able to master the program for fifth-graders, but they are forced to sit at the solution of long-understood tasks. If the desire to know more is not considered in the child in time, then soon the learning process itself will become boring and tedious for him. Correcting the situation is extremely difficult: as a rule, such children simply stop striving for knowledge and, as a result, are content with triples even in their favorite subjects.

• The situation in the school community. Often in the classroom, children tease those who get good grades, so children deliberately “drop out” of school in order to merge with the team.

• Health. Sometimes a student cannot master the program completely due to banal fatigue caused by health problems, malnutrition or excessive stress.

Only after careful analysis specific situation you can try to give some advice or recommendations on what to do if the child does not study well. without finding out true reason, parents risk losing mutual understanding with their child and even more set him against learning.

Real Steps: Helping You Study

Regardless of where the child is studying: in the 2nd grade or in the 11th, it is the parents who should become the force that will help the student find a way out of the impasse, begin to fully study not in order to receive an assessment or encouragement, but to absorb knowledge.

To encourage their child to gain knowledge and, as a result, good grades, parents should take the following steps:

• Find a contact. Before demanding good grades, parents need to find common ground with the baby, understand his aspirations and interests, share his fears and concerns.

• Be in love. In any situation and with any academic performance, parents should show their child how much they love him. You should not criticize for no reason, insult or ridicule: a mockery from your beloved parents can hurt you the most and leave a deep wound for life.

• Appreciate not the mark, but the desire. Praise should not be formal: "here's a candy for the top five," but for the aspirations and thirst for knowledge.

• To help. Before demanding ideal homework from a child, you should help him yourself and tell him that his parents also completed these tasks, learned these verses and memorized the rules. best example is an example of parents.

• Motivate. The most difficult thing is the right motivation: the student needs to be explained why these examples and rules are needed, how they will be useful in future life, obtaining a profession and their own success.

You should not complain to everyone that the child is studying for deuces: what to do in such a situation, you should tell experienced teacher or a qualified psychologist, but not a neighbor in the stairwell with a recommendation to "flog it properly."

There are many reasons for lagging behind in school. Individual failures usually occur in schools that do not strive to adapt to the needs and level of each student, in which children are treated harshly, demanding from them unconditional obedience. Where class groups are too big for individual approach.

The reasons for poor academic performance may be laid in the child himself. They may be hidden in his health: poor eyesight or hearing, fatigue or a chronic illness.

The reason may be the mental state of the child: nervousness and anxiety for any reason, inability to find mutual language with a teacher or students. It happens that a child does not read well, because it is difficult for him to recognize written words. One child does not work because the tasks are too easy for him, the other - because it is too difficult.

Do not scold or punish a child who is having trouble learning. Try to find out what is the reason for his poor performance. Check with your teacher or school principal or parenting consultant if you have one. Check the child's health, including vision and hearing.

Very capable child

If in the class all students work according to the same program, then more capable children may be bored, because the tasks are too easy for them. The only way out of the situation may be to move to a higher class.

This may be a good solution if the child is both physically and spiritually more developed than his peers. Otherwise, he will be isolated and lonely among classmates, especially when they enter adolescence. He may be too punny for sports games and dances. The interests of the child, most likely, are determined by his age, which prevents him from finding a common language with new comrades. What good is it to him that he will go to college at a very young age, if because of this he will always be alone?

It is better for such a bright child to stay in his class where his peers study, provided that the curriculum is too flexible, that is, it can be made more difficult for bright children. He can be instructed to work out a more difficult book in the library and make a report on it.

If smart student works for the sake of grades or to please the teacher, the guys give him the nicknames "Clever", "Favorite". But if he's working on common theme, together with the whole team, the respect of the guys for him is growing, because his mind and abilities are especially useful in the common cause.

Even if you consider your child to be very talented, don't try to move him to an older class that doesn't match his abilities. As a result, the child will study worse than he could, or even simply stay in the second year, returning to his class.

There is also the question of whether smart children should be taught to read and count before school. Parents say that often the children themselves ask to show them letters and numbers and just ask for training. This is partly true, and there is no harm in satisfying a child's curiosity.

But in many of these cases, there is another side. Parents often put too much pressure on their child. big hopes and want him to be superior to other children. When he plays his childish games, they take it easy. But as soon as he shows interest in reading, they light up and enthusiastically help the child learn to read. The child, seeing the enthusiasm of the parents, responds to it with even greater interest. This can completely distract him from the natural pursuits of his age and turn him into a "literate" sooner than necessary.

For good parents it is natural to rejoice in the fine qualities of one's children. But it is necessary to distinguish where the interests of the child end and the great hopes of the parents begin. If parents are ambitious by nature, they should honestly admit this to themselves and be on the lookout not to let their ambition rule the child's life.

For the child to grow happy man and became the pride of his parents, they should not put pressure on him at any age, whether it be about schoolwork, music or dance lessons, sports or choosing friends.

Poor academic performance due to nervousness. A child's education can be hindered by various worries, troubles and family troubles. Here are a few examples, although they do not exhaust all the possibilities.

A six-year-old girl is tormented by feelings of jealousy younger brother. It irritates her, distracts her from her studies. Sometimes she suddenly attacks other children for no apparent reason.

The child may be upset by the illness of a family member, or the parents' threat to leave, or a misunderstood sexual relationship. In the early years of school, a child may be afraid of a bully or angry dog on the way to school, or a strict teacher, be afraid to ask permission to go to the toilet or answer a lesson in front of the whole class. For an adult, all this may seem like nothing, but for a shy 6-7-year-old child, such things can cause intense fear, which completely paralyzes his ability to think.

A nine-year-old child who is severely scolded and punished at home may reach a state of extreme anxiety and tension and lose the ability to keep his thoughts on anything.

Usually a child who is considered "lazy" is actually not lazy at all. Man is born curious and energetic. If later he loses these qualities, then education is to blame. The reasons for seeming laziness are different. A child can be simply stubborn, because he is constantly urged from birth. But he is not lazy when it comes to his personal hobbies. Sometimes a child is simply hesitant to try something out of fear of failing. This quality develops in a child whose parents have always been too critical of his achievements or demanded too much from him.

Sometimes a very conscientious child does not study well, however strange it may sound. He repeats a lesson already learned or an exercise done many times in fear that he missed something or did something wrong. Such a child always lags behind his comrades because of his excessive fussiness.

A child deprived of love and care in early childhood, To school age, as a rule, becomes nervous, restless, irresponsible, unable to become interested in learning, find a common language with teachers and classmates.

Whatever the reason for the poor performance of the child, it is necessary,

first, find internal cause his failure;

secondly, whether you can find it or not, the teacher and parents, having combined their knowledge about the child, must reveal it good qualities and interests and, using them, gradually draw the child into the team and its activities.

Poor reading due to slow development visual memory. For both you and me, the word "nose" looks completely different than the word "sleep." But for most young children who are just starting to read, these pairs of words look almost the same.

They can read the word "ditch" as "thief" or the word "weight" as "sowing." In a letter, they often confuse letters that are similar in spelling. Over time, such errors become very rare. But approximately 10% of students (mostly boys) continue to suffer from this deficiency for several years. They take longer to learn to read relatively well, and they can make spelling mistakes all their lives, no matter how much they practice. Such children quickly come to the conclusion that they are "incapable" and often begin to hate school because they cannot keep up with the class. They need to be reassured and reassured that their trouble is in a special defect in visual memory (as well as the lack of musical ear) that they are not stupid or lazy, that sooner or later they will learn to read well and write correctly.

Help with lessons

Sometimes the teacher advises to additionally work out with the child in those subjects in which he is lagging behind. In some cases, parents themselves decide to "pull up" the child. This must be done with caution. Often parents turn out to be bad teachers, not because they lack knowledge, and not because they are unscrupulous, but because they take the success of the child too close to their hearts and get angry if he does not understand something. When a child is already confused about a subject, a nervous parent will only make things worse. In addition, the parent may explain things differently than the teacher, which will further confuse the child who did not understand the topic in class.

I do not mean to say that parents should never help their children in their studies. Sometimes their help brings very good results. But before you engage with your child, consult with his teacher. Immediately stop your individual studies if they do not bring success.

When a child occasionally asks you to help him with his homework, it's okay if you explain to him what he does not understand (nothing gives parents more pleasure than the opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge to a child). But if a child asks to do it for him homework because he does not understand it, consult the teacher.

A good teacher prefers to help the child understand the topic so that he can then complete the task on his own. If the teacher is too busy for individual lessons with a child, parents will have to help him, but even in this case, try to make the child understand the task and do it himself. Don't take lessons for him.

Fear of going to school

Sometimes a child suddenly has an inexplicable fear of school and refuses to go there. This often happens after he has been at home for several days due to illness or an accident, especially if the onset of the illness or accident took place at school. As a rule, the child cannot explain what he is afraid of at school. The study of such cases has shown that the real cause of fear often has nothing to do with school.

If the child is allowed to stay at home, his fear of school will only increase, and the fear of being left behind will be added to it. school curriculum and cause discontent of the teacher and classmates. Therefore, parents should be firm and insist on the return of the child to school. Don't be fooled by his health complaints, don't try to persuade the doctor to let him stay out of school for a few more days (of course, the doctor should check his health).

If the child cannot eat before going to school

Occasionally such a problem arises, especially with students in grades 1 and 2 at the beginning of the school year. A conscientious child may be so in awe of the class and of the teacher that it completely deprives him of his appetite before going to school. If his mother forces him to eat, he may vomit on the way to school or in class, adding to his other troubles a sense of shame.

Don't force your child to eat in the morning. Have him drink juice or milk if that is all his stomach can take. If the child cannot even drink, let him go to school with an empty stomach. Of course, this is not good, but he will soon get rid of his nervous tension and will be able to have breakfast before classes if you leave him alone. Usually such a child eats very well at lunch and even better at dinner, compensating for the missed breakfast. As he gets used to school, his stomach will demand more and more food in the morning, provided that he does not have to fight with his mother.

For a shy child, the sensitivity of the teacher is especially important. The mother can talk to the teacher, explain the situation to him. The teacher will try to be especially affectionate with the child and help him get used to the team.

Teacher and parents

It's not hard for you to stay in good relations with a teacher if your child is doing well. But if he studies poorly, relations with teachers can be complicated. Most the best teachers, as well as the most the best parents are just people. Each of them takes pride in their work. Each of them feels possessive towards the child. Everyone believes in their hearts (rightly or wrongly) that the child would do much better if the other side treated him a little differently.

Parents should remember that the teacher is just as touchy as they are, that they will get much more out of joint discussions if they are friendly and accommodating. Some parents admit that they are afraid to appear before the teacher, but even the teacher is often afraid to appear before the parents. The task of parents in a conversation with a teacher is to give him information about the interests of the child, his reaction to various phenomena. And the teacher will decide how to use this information. Do not forget to thank the teacher for teaching topics that are especially liked and given to the child.

Again "deuce": why do children study poorly and how to help them?

For every mother, her child always remains the smartest and most capable. And when what they want is at odds with reality, they get lost and begin to constantly scold the child, forcing him to sit for several hours in a row at home and cramming the rules. After all, you really want to be proud of your child's grades, and not blush because of them. Don't get excited. Remember that Einstein school years was practically a loser, showing excellent abilities exclusively in mathematics, and Thomas Edison, who became a great inventor, was equated by teachers in his school years with mentally retarded children. So a few deuces in the diary still do not say anything. You just need to immediately figure out what the reason is and try to help the child.

Why do children fail in school?

You have no idea how many reasons can stand in the way of a good study. They can be both physiological and psychological. It is important to find out in time which of them makes your child bring deuces instead of fives in the diary.

Physiological causes

There are many physiological reasons why your child may have poor memory, distracted attention, and other symptoms that affect the quality of their studies. Most of them are invisible at first sight. And many of them remain unrecognized forever.

• Mild brain dysfunction, which is sometimes very difficult to diagnose, can only affect when the time comes for the child to learn formulas and perform complex calculations. To identify this violation will help ultrasound of the brain and a number of specific tests.
• Slowed development of the child can be caused by fetal intoxication during pregnancy, alcohol syndrome in the same period of time, head trauma, anesthesia or psychological trauma experienced. In this case, a little restorative therapy will help your little one break through to the level of their peers.
• Diseases with frightening names dysgraphia, dyslexia and dyscalculia are often found in children.. If left scientific language and to speak simply, then this is a pathological inability to correctly write, read and visually perceive printed text. Alas, in most cases these diseases are mistaken for laziness and they try to achieve the best results from the child, not realizing that this is impossible.
• The perception of verbal information may also be impaired. Mild forms of autism, hyperexcitability of the child prevent him from concentrating on the words of the teacher. At the same time, the level of intelligence can be very high.

Psychological reasons

Psychological problems are much more common.

• Laziness caused by being spoiled is one of the most common causes failure in school. A child who is accustomed to doing what pleases him cannot overpower himself and start devoting enough of his precious attention and time to studying.
• Parents sometimes overestimate the requirements themselves, not taking into account the strength and capabilities of their child. In such a case, even if baby goes in the first class with pleasure and exhibits big interest to study, under parental pressure, he gradually fades away. And then the parents themselves are surprised why their capable and so smart child rolled into triples.
• Always ask your child about his relationship with teachers and classmates. Perhaps the problem lies precisely there. If so, it makes sense to talk to the teacher.
• An unfavorable atmosphere in the family - the transferred divorce of parents, frequent quarrels, alcoholism of one of the family members and other intra-family problems do not bypass children. As a rule, they withdraw into themselves, become thoughtful and withdrawn, and cannot concentrate on their studies.
• A child's shyness can also affect their academic performance. If he is embarrassed to answer at the blackboard, is constrained, does not show activity in the classroom, considers himself stupider than the rest, then he will study worse.
• If the child additionally attends electives and circles, then perhaps he simply cannot cope with a large load and is too tired to memorize the entire amount of information normally.

In any case, if academic performance is consistently poor, the child must be taken to a psychologist for a series of tests that will help draw the line between "can't" and "won't."

How can you help your child learn better?

In order to really help your child, it is not enough to explain to him an incomprehensible topic. It is necessary to take a whole range of measures.

• Go to a psychologist and go through an examination in a clinic - take all the tests, do an ultrasound of the brain, visit a neurologist.
• Make sure your child gets proper rest. He should go to bed on time, and not sit half the night at the computer.
• By the way, the time spent at the computer and TV should be limited. And the rest - to put him to good use. Buy or download special programs where the necessary educational material is given in a playful way.
• Monitor your child's nutrition. At this age, he should receive enough protein and vitamins. Do not forget about a moderate amount of sweet, stimulating brain activity. For example, a cup of natural cocoa in the morning will help him wake up faster and better absorb school lessons. Be sure to include foods containing iodine in your diet. For example, seaweed.
• Do not swear in the presence of a child, provide a calm, friendly atmosphere at home.
• Stop scolding him for deuces - better increase your motivation to study. For every five, give him a small monetary reward or keep some nice little thing in reserve. In addition, promise him that if he finishes academic year well, then you must go somewhere.
• Help him with his homework. Explain everything you don't understand to him. If you yourself do not know them, then you will have to study.

Knowing the problem will make it easier for your child to improve their academic performance. If you deal with the cause, rather than its consequences, then you will have a much better chance of success. Therefore, do not postpone the problem until later, referring to the lack of time. If you don't do it now, then it may be too late.

Get your child ready for school

1. The place for doing lessons should be neat, textbooks and notebooks should not be scattered in chaotic order, pens, rulers, compasses and others school supplies must be in place.
2. Do not allow putting off the collection of the portfolio until tomorrow, it is impossible for the child to rush to collect the portfolio in the morning, otherwise it will be deposited in his subconscious, as it should be related to the implementation of educational material.
3. List the tasks to be completed. Let the child number the list of tasks and perform them in a strict order, this will instill discipline and willpower in the child.
4. Make sure your child is resting. It is impossible for a child to constantly study, even if he himself likes it, you need to know the measure in this too! Otherwise, a nervous breakdown may occur in the future.

Success in school is not an indicator of success in life.

Did you know that not a few people who did not do well at school were able to achieve a lot in life. Take Richard Branson, who opens his own world's first vegan airline in 2016. He studied poorly at school, due to dyslexia. At school, it was difficult for him to master reading, writing, mathematics and learning.

If your child is not learning well...

Even wanting to learn, but it is difficult for him to study, he does not retell what he has read well or masters mathematics difficultly, perhaps the reason is some head injuries, or the blood circulation of the head. Children and adolescents do not feel their blood circulation in the head, it can be chronic, you need to check the vessels of the head with ultrasound. Ask the child if it hurts to tilt his head down, if his head hurts from the weather, if he feels weak in the morning

Parents often wonder what to do if their child does not study well at school. And no less often, such questions and fears arise, not even in connection with poor study, but only with a certain trend towards a decrease in academic performance. It is quite natural that conscientious parents would like to avoid such a turn of events or correct it in time.

According to generalized statistics, about 20% of schoolchildren have unsatisfactory marks in several subjects, and sometimes this is accompanied by the fact that the child behaves badly at school. In addition, one does not need to study statistics in order to understand that even more students have a reduced desire to study, be it general education, music or any other school. It is only through teachers, parents or self-discipline that this unwillingness to learn does not affect the educational process itself. And many parents would like to achieve such a result.

But before acting, it is important to understand why the child does not study well, and what factors create this state of affairs.

The situation described above has several components, each of which has a direct impact on it and can become the main reason for its deterioration. These are factors such as:

• poor health of the child;
• lack of necessary education;
• difficult home environment
• low qualification of the teacher;
• the nuances of the education system itself;
• individual characteristics child.

Poor health in a child today is quite common. In rare cases, this is due to heredity, more often - with a past illness, the influence of antibiotics or vaccinations, if they were used without taking into account contraindications. The quality of nutrition has a great influence on the health of the child - the necessary vitamins and minerals should be in the diet of the student in sufficient quantities. And the food at the same time should not be slagged, the abundance of harmful additives and ingredients in it is unacceptable, which in modern society very common. These factors are directly related to mindfulness, memory, vital activity and positive attitude child and, as a result, to the ability to perceive new information.

In addition, poor health may be the reason why other factors, described below, will manifest themselves to a much greater extent.

Family and socialization

Education matters a lot! It is necessary from an early age and should form in the child important qualities. These qualities should be shown in right time and become the basis of the future, independent living adult person. Among these qualities there is self-discipline, which means a developed will, interest in knowing the world around us, respect for people who are wise in life, correct life values and other factors. Of course, it is impossible to demand the appearance of these virtues in a child instantly, and it is not necessary. Character is formed gradually, and this formation is impossible without the interested participation of the person himself.

Difficult conditions at home can greatly unsettle the child, to which it will be difficult for him to return. Circumstances relevant to such a setting may concern, death native person, the destructive impact of one of the parents or other family members and the like. Another circumstance may be, and - often a consequence of such changes. During this period, there is a reassessment of many events and values, which can be quite difficult if the child does not have the “immunity” laid down by proper upbringing.

Difficult relationships with peers can arise due to several circumstances, among which the character of the child himself is present, and how he was brought up, and whether he was able to adapt to a particular team, how he can behave among other children. Difficulties often arise due to mismatches in the levels of development and upbringing of children, for example, when there are bullies in the class who demonstrate bad behavior at school and thereby negatively affect other children.

Features of the education system

Many circumstances in the learning process depend on the teacher, and this is natural. It is likely that a particular teacher does not have a high calling in himself to be the one who knows how to convey knowledge, and therefore, due to subjective reasons, can serve as a stumbling block that prevents the student from mastering the subject. And it happens that such a situation forever discourages the child's interest in the learning process.

It must be admitted that a teacher is also a representative of a system that is far from ideal. And if such a teacher puts the interests of this system above the issues of raising and educating children, if he does not sensitive heart, does not have the ability to pick up individual keys, then it can turn out to be an ordinary bureaucrat with all the “ensuing” consequences for children.

One of the factors in the system modern learning having negative sign, is to motivate students not so much to acquire specific knowledge, but to get the right grades. And if you think about it, here you can see a big "pitfall" that can affect the process of development and education of the child, his knowledge of the world. If a student who is healthy has necessary qualities and inquisitive, will force you to receive only the necessary assessments, which are given for actions that are far from the natural process of cognition real world(for example, memorizing dates or names of extinct animals, etc.), then this child will naturally decrease in interest in schooling.

Features of children's characters

Psychologists know about 4 psychotypes of a person. These psychological features obviously present in children. If all of them are generalized, then the situations may look something like the following. Some of the guys tend to exact sciences, and someone reaches for the humanitarian. Some quickly grasp the new, and then they get bored, while others need to return to the material covered more than once. This leads to the fact that, as a result of individual characteristics, one of the guys stops doing well in any subject. But this does not mean that the child does not love given subject or does not want to learn - he simply does not keep up with the speed of the teacher's supply of information and assignments on a particular subject.

It is worse if parents start to join and lead this race, to worry about "achievement", considering it the basis of a good grade. Such an attitude of parents can be transmitted to a schoolchild and become fixed in the mind, and as a result - his individual attitude to learning specific subject or a certain area in life will be perceived by him as “wrong” and hinder the process of obtaining knowledge.

Of course, all of the above factors rarely manifest themselves clearly in one person. Most often, the life and character of a schoolchild, which includes both individual characteristics and acquired qualities, are also superimposed on circumstances external to the child. In this regard, it is sometimes difficult for parents to understand their child, about whom they seemed to know everything, but it suddenly (for them) changed its behavior.

What should parents do

First of all, every parent who is sincerely worried about the development of his child should try to carefully understand what is happening and the reasons for this situation. It is very important to do this together with the child, but without any pressure. He must be an interested participant, understanding and accepting the sincere concern of the parent, which, of course, is not easy to achieve. Parents need to try to objectively look at the situation. They must understand the difference between assessment and knowledge, have a complete picture of classmates and teachers at school, and be able to objectively look at their role in education. A real understanding of each negative factor and the whole situation as a whole can be called half the battle in its solution.

In addition to eliminating negative factors, it is possible to recommend active actions in a positive way. One such " magic key”, with the help of which you can transform a child, is the formation of a psychology of success in him. Moreover, this success should be associated primarily with the joy of the process and the achievement of the result, and only in the second - from the evaluation or award, which should never be an end in itself. And here it is important whether the child believes in himself. All babies initially, it is thanks to this that they manage to learn the world, starting this knowledge from the first step. Moreover, every day they overcome the border of the familiar, moving into the zone of the unknown, which requires inner courage and mandatory confidence in the support of loved ones.

A practical example would be the following situation. Each student probably has a favorite subject or field of activity that interests him. Encouraging and developing this interest, it is necessary to motivate the child to go beyond the boundaries of the preferred, showing connections with other aspects of life. So, the Russian language, unloved by many boys, is actually very logical! It beautifully and strictly reflects the surrounding life, its every little thing. Or, for example, such a seemingly humanitarian subject as geography has many connections with any technical direction. Thus, each school subject can be tied to a harmonious system of reality and the necessary transitions to other disciplines can be found. Finding these bridges is an interesting and difficult task for teachers and parents.

What Not to Do for Parents

Naturally, a child cannot do without self-discipline and diligence. And here it is very important for parents not to cross the line when, instead of helping in the development of learning abilities, they feel sorry for their children or want to quickly solve the problem with poor grades and begin, for example, to do homework for them. reverse side medals is an unnecessary burden, when all kinds of circles and additional courses fall on children every day. It is important to know the measure, which is always individual.

Motivation is a determining factor in the development of every person, and even more so a child. But it is important that children develop this motivation inside, not outside. Incentives in the form of pocket money, going to the movies or playing games on a console may be appropriate, but only in some cases, and should not be the main motivating factor. Internal joy from success, satisfaction from the brought good people benefits and the desire to continue activities are the best motivation for all stages of life.