The formation of personality is a complex process of interaction between intellectual and emotional development. IN last years more and more attention is paid to emotional intelligence, that is, “the ability to understand the meaning of emotions and use this knowledge to find out the causes of problems and solve these problems” (J. Mayer and P. Salovey). emotional intellect» is not new in pedagogy. Many scientists wrote about this phenomenon, but used other terms depending on the features of its expression: L.S. Vygotsky - "generalization of experiences", A.V. Zaporozhets - "emotional imagination", V.S. Mukhina - "reasonableness of feelings."
In addition, there are a number of qualities interconnected with emotional intelligence, including empathy, which initially means the process of empathy, that is, emotional penetration into the state of another (Yu.B. Gippenreiter, T.D. Karyagina, E.N. Kozlova).
The inability to understand one's own emotions and the emotions of other people, to correctly assess the reactions of others, as well as the inability to regulate one's own emotions when making decisions, lead to many failures in life. According to latest research, the success of a person depends on the coefficient of mental development by only 20 percent, and from the coefficient of emotional development - by almost 80 percent.
The foundations of the future personality are laid already at preschool age, which, according to the definition of A. N. Leontiev, is the period of the initial, actual make-up of the personality. Cardinal economic, political, social transformations and the process of globalization are having an impact on modern preschooler great influence and are subjected to such emotional tests to which it cannot naturally adapt human nature. Surrounding reality to some extent, either slows down emotional world child, or distorts the process of its development.
There is currently a large number of programs for the development of emotional intelligence of adults. However, in our opinion, this problem is most relevant for preschool age. According to American researchers, emotional intellect and the qualities associated with it contribute not only moral development children, but also their academic success.
It is very important to protect the emotional sphere of a preschooler, not to limit its development to a system of trainings. “I like the idea that people can be taught to have a deeper understanding of their own emotional life and help them achieve their goals,” says founder Peter Salovey. - but what I do not like at all is the education of conformity! I am afraid that any campaign to increase emotional self-control in children will end up with them being coached on the “only right” emotional response in relation to this situation - laughter at a holiday, crying at a funeral, and so on.
Psychology teacher at the National Institute for the Training of Kindergarten Teachers (Ho Chi Minh City, Socialist Republic Vietnam), Postgraduate Student, Department of General and Pedagogical Psychology, Voronezh State Pedagogical University offers its own version of the program for the development of emotional intelligence of children of senior preschool age. He believes: nowhere is it so clearly manifested emotional intellect as in the art of communication. Friendliness, tact, ability to assess the situation and properly respond to it - all this requires developed sense empathy.
Purpose of the program. The development of a preschooler's orientation to the role and significance of other people in his activities.
Tasks:
● Formation of preschoolers' interest in emotional experiences.
● Formation of ideas about basic emotions and feelings.
● Development of the ability to cooperate with other children.
The program consists of 20 lessons. The structure of each lesson:
- reading a story or poem;
- conversation on the content of the text;
- work on the selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional states and experiences of the characters in the story or poem.
- holding one or two games.
Classes were held for six months in the preparatory school group of MDOU No. 138 in Voronezh.
Lesson on the story of K.D. Ushinsky "Playing Dogs"
Reading text.
Volodya stood at the window and looked out into the street, where she was basking in the sun. big dog, Polkan.
A little Pug ran up to Polkan and began to throw himself at him and bark; grabbed his huge paws, his muzzle with his teeth and, it seemed, was very annoying to a large and gloomy dog.
Wait a minute, she'll ask you! Volodya said. She will teach you.
But Pug did not stop playing, and Polkan looked at him very favorably.
You see, - Volodya's father said, - Polkan is kinder than you. When your little brothers and sisters start playing with you, you will certainly end up nailing them. Polkan, on the other hand, knows that it is a shame for the big and strong to offend the small and weak.
Conversation.
- What did Polkan do in the yard?
- How did Pug play?
- Did Polkan get angry?
- What, according to Volodya, could have happened if Pug had not stopped interfering with Polkan? Polkan acted as Volodya suggested, or not? Why?
- What did the father teach Volodya on the example of this case?
- How do you think kids feel when they are offended?
The game "Waves" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. Learn to express with gestures a benevolent attitude towards peers.
Game progress
The teacher stands in a circle formed by the children and says: “There are usually small waves in the sea, and it’s so nice when they gently wash you. Let's turn into sea waves, we will move as if we are waves, just like them, rustle and murmur, smile like waves when they sparkle in the sun. Then he invites everyone to take turns swimming in the sea. The bather becomes in the center, the "waves" surround him and, stroking, quietly murmur.
Lesson based on the story of M. Zoshchenko "At Grandma"
Reading text.
We are visiting grandma. We sit at the table. Lunch is served.
Our grandmother sits next to grandfather. Grandfather is fat, overweight. He looks like a lion. Grandma looks like a lioness.
The lion and the lioness are sitting at the table.
I keep looking at my grandmother. This is my mother's mother. She has gray hair and dark, amazing Beautiful face. Mom said that in her youth she was an extraordinary beauty.
They bring a bowl of soup.
It is not interesting. I probably won't eat this.
But they bring pies. It's still nothing.
Grandpa pours the soup himself.
As I serve my plate, I say to my grandfather:
- Just one drop for me.
Grandpa holds a pouring spoon over my plate. He drips one drop of soup into my plate.
I am embarrassed looking at this drop.
Everyone laughs.
Grandpa says:
- He himself asked for one drop. So I fulfilled his request.
I didn't want soup, but for some reason I'm offended. I almost cry.
Grandma says:
- Grandpa joked. Give me your plate, I'll pour it.
I do not give my plate and do not touch the pies.
Grandpa says to my mom:
- This bad child. He doesn't understand jokes.
Mom tells me:
- Well, smile same grandfather. Answer him something.
I glare at my grandfather. Quietly I say to him:
I will never visit you again...
Conversation.
- Why did the boy ask his grandfather to pour him only one drop of soup?
- What do you think, while fulfilling the request of the grandson, the grandfather was joking?
We often joke about those we love. Do you think the boy in this story understands this or not? Why do you think so?
- How should we behave when people make fun of us so that they are not offended?
- What did the boy's grandfather feel when his grandson didn't realize that he was just joking?
- If you were in the place of a boy, what would you do when your grandfather made such a joke on you?
Display and selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional states of the characters in the story.
The game "Celebration of courtesy" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. Stimulate the desire to please and support each other with the help of words.
“Today, in our group,” the teacher says, “a celebration of courtesy is announced! Polite people are distinguished by the fact that they never forget to thank others. Now each of you will have a chance to show your courtesy and thank others for something. You can walk up to anyone and say, "Thank you for being...". You'll see, thank you very much. Try not to forget anyone and approach everyone, because truly polite people also very attentive. Ready? Then let's start."
Lesson on the poem by E. Moshkovskaya "The Hard Way"
Reading text.
I decided,
and I'm off.
I'm going
in that hard way.
I'm going
to the next room
where silently
my mother is sitting.
And have to
open the door.
And take a step...
And further...
and maybe ten more
ten steps!
And quiet
To her
come up,
and quiet
say:
"Sorry..."
Conversation.
- What is this poem about?
Why do you think it is so difficult to ask for forgiveness?
- How does a boy feel when he goes to his mother to ask for forgiveness?
- How do you feel when you have to ask for forgiveness?
How do people around us feel when we do bad things?
What is the continuation of this poem? What will the mother say to the boy?
Display and selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional states of the characters in the poem.
The game "Living Dolls" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. Stimulate empathy, the desire to help others.
Game progress
The teacher breaks the group into pairs and explains: “Imagine that your dolls come to life. They know how to speak, ask, run, etc. Let one of the couple remain a child, and the other turn into a girl doll or a boy doll. The doll will ask for something, and its owner will fulfill its requests and take care of it.” Offers to wash the hands of the doll, feed it, take a walk with it, put it to bed, etc. At the same time, he warns that the owner must fulfill all the whims of the doll and not force her to do what she does not want.
Fully immersed in game situation, children continue to play on their own. In the next game, they switch roles.
Lesson on the story of M. Zoshchenko "I'm not to blame"
Reading text.
We sit at the table and eat pancakes.
Suddenly, my father takes my plate and starts eating my pancakes. I roar.
Father with glasses He has a serious look. Beard. However, he laughs. He says:
- See how greedy he is. He is sorry for one pancake for his father.
I speak:
- One pancake, please eat. I thought you were eating everything.
They bring soup. I speak:
- Dad, do you want my soup?
Papa says:
- No, I'll wait until they bring sweets. Now, if you give me sweets, then you are really a good boy.
Thinking that for sweet cranberry jelly with milk, I say:
- Please. You can eat my sweet.
Suddenly they bring a cream to which I am not indifferent.
Pushing my saucer of cream towards my father, I say:
- Please eat if you are so greedy.
The father frowns and leaves the table.
Mother says:
- Go to your father, ask for forgiveness.
I speak:
- I will not go. I am not guilty.
I leave the table without touching the sweet.
In the evening, when I am lying in bed, my father comes up. He has my saucer of cream in his hands.
Father says:
- Well, why didn't you eat your cream?
I speak:
- Dad, let's eat in half. Why should we quarrel over this?
My father kisses me and feeds me cream from a spoon.
Conversation.
- What happened at the table during the meal? Do you think the father really wanted to eat his son's pancakes and cream?
- Why did the father frown and leave the table? How did he feel when the boy said: “Please eat if you are so greedy”?
- It often happens that our words or actions offend people dear to us. What do you think we should do to atone for our guilt in such situations?
- At the end of the story, the boy decided to make peace with his dad. How did he do it? If you were that boy, how would you reconcile with your dad?
- What did the father feel when the son decided to be the first to make peace with him?
Display and selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional states of the characters in the story.
The game "Animators" (I. Klimina).
Target. Develop the ability to non-verbally express your emotions.
Material. Drawings of children.
Game progress
The children look at the pictures. Then one of the participants in the game, using facial expressions and gestures, shows what is shown in one of the drawings, the rest guess.
If there are several answers, the teacher explains that the same phenomenon or object can cause different feelings in different people, and each person has the right to his own opinion.
Lesson on the poem by Y. Akim "My brother Misha"
Reading text.
Oh what a redhead he is
My new brother Misha!
And red hair
And red eyelashes
Wake up and have fun
When I see him.
Over the naughty Misha
The whole family is busy
But my brother is red
He does everything the way I do.
I jump, he jumps
Eat porridge - eat porridge
I ate a plate in an instant -
And he is in one sitting.
I don't hate Misha
Pushes me - I endure:
He is small, my red,
And I love him.
Conversation.
- What do you think, what should be the older brother and older sister?
- Do you have a brother or sister? Tell about them.
- How does your brother or sister feel when you behave aggressively towards them?
- What do you do when your brother or sister does not do what you would like?
- Draw portraits of your brothers or sisters and give them as a gift.
Display and selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional state of the characters.
The game "Composite figures" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. To form the ability to coordinate their own actions and behavior with the actions and behavior of other children, to take into account the influence of other children on their actions.
Game progress
The teacher sits the children around him and says: “Those of you who were in the circus or the zoo must have seen an elephant there. And who was not - saw his image in the picture in the book. Try to picture it. How many legs does he have? That's right, four. Who wants to be the feet of an elephant? Who will be the trunk? Etc. Thus, each child will depict some part of the elephant's body. The teacher helps the children to position themselves in the correct order: in front is the trunk, behind it is the head, on the sides are the ears, etc. Then he invites the elephant to walk around the room: each part must follow the sequence of movements.
Any real and fabulous animals (dog, caterpillar, dragon, etc.) can be used as a figure. If there are many children in the group, you can complicate the game and make two animals that can communicate: shake hands, sniff each other, wag their tails when they meet.
Lesson on the poem by A. Barto "Loneliness"
Reading text.
No, I'm leaving for good!
Then I'll get bored with dad:
I come with questions
Then I don’t eat porridge,
Don't argue with adults!
I will live alone in the forest
Reserve strawberries.
It's good to live in a hut,
And I don't want to go home
As a dad, I like
Loneliness.
I will listen to the bird whistle
In the morning in the woods
I'm just a footballer
And there is no one to play with.
It's good to live in a hut,
Only bad at heart.
I'm better off in the woods
I'll build huts for everyone!
I invite all the boys
I'll give everyone a hut.
I will write to my mom and dad.
Sending postcards to everyone!
Come for good!
Conversation.
- Why do you think the boy decided to live alone in the forest?
- And why then did he decide to invite both dad and mom and all his friends to his forest? Does he like being alone?
What is the role of the people around us in our lives? Do you think we can exist without their participation?
Did you smile when you read the last lines of the poem? Why? Is this poem happy or sad? Why do you think so?
Display and selection of pictures expressing the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional states of the character of the poem.
The game "Old grandmother" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. Stimulate empathy, the desire to support and help others.
Game progress
The teacher divides the group into pairs: grandmother (grandfather) - granddaughter (grandson) and explains: “Grandparents are very old, they don’t see or hear anything. They need to be taken to the doctor, and for this, grandchildren and granddaughters must transfer them across the road with heavy traffic.
The street is drawn with chalk on the floor. Several children in the role of cars run along the roadway. The guide needs to protect the grandmother (grandfather) from cars, show the doctor (his role is played by the child), buy medicine and bring him home along the same road.
Lesson on the poem by A. Barto "Separation"
Reading text.
I do everything for my mom
I play scales for her
I go to the doctor for her
I study mathematics.
All the boys climbed into the river,
I was alone on the beach
For her after illness
Didn't even swim in the river.
For her I wash my hands
Eating some carrots...
Only now we are separated.
Mom in Pryluky
Fifth day on a business trip.
And tonight all evening
There is nothing for me to do!
And probably out of habit
Or maybe out of boredom
I put matches in place
And for some reason I wash my hands.
And the scales sound sad
In our room. Without mom.
Conversation.
- What does the boy do for his mother, and what - for himself?
- What can each of you do for mom?
- Describe the emotional state of the boy when he misses his mother.
- What can be done so that the boy does not feel so lonely?
- What do you do if your parents go somewhere for a long time? Why are you doing this?
Display and selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional state of the character of the poem.
The game "We work together" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. To form the ability to coordinate their own actions and behavior with the actions and behavior of other children, to negotiate and cooperate with others.
Game progress
The teacher divides the group into subgroups of four children. He gives each of the subgroups a task: to wash the dishes, cook soup or plant a tree. Helps to distribute responsibilities (for example, one child digs a hole, another lowers a tree into a hole and straightens the roots, a third fills a hole, a fourth waters a tree). For five minutes, subgroups rehearse their skits. Then each subgroup shows a scene, and the rest guess.
Lesson based on the story of N. Nosov "Steps"
Reading text.
One day Petya was returning from kindergarten. That day he learned to count to ten. He reached his house, and younger sister Valya is already waiting at the gate.
- I already know how to count! Petya boasted. - IN kindergarten learned. Look how I now count all the steps on the stairs.
They began to climb the stairs, and Petya loudly counted the steps:
- Well, why did you stop? Valya asks.
- Wait, I forgot which step is next. I will remember now.
- Well, remember, - says Valya.
They stood on the stairs, they stood. Petya says:
- No, I can't remember that. Well, let's start over.
They went down the stairs. They started going up again.
- One, - says Petya, - two, three, four, five...
And stopped again.
- Forgot again? Valya asks.
- Forgot! How is it! I just remembered and suddenly forgot! Well, let's try again.
They went down the stairs again, and Petya started over:
One, two, three, four, five...
- Maybe twenty-five? Valya asks.
- Not really! You just stop thinking! You see, I forgot because of you! Will have to start over again.
- I don't want to at first! Valya says. - What it is? Up, then down, then up, then down! My legs already hurt.
“If you don’t want to, don’t,” Petya answered. “I won’t go any further until I remember.”
Valya went home and said to her mother:
- Mom, there Petya counts steps on the stairs: one, two, three, four, five, and then he doesn’t remember.
“And then six,” said my mother.
Valya ran back to the stairs, and Petya kept counting the steps:
One, two, three, four, five...
- Six! Valya whispers. - Six! Six!
- Six! Petya was delighted and went on. - Seven eight nine ten.
It’s good that the stairs ended, otherwise he would never have reached the house, because he only learned to count up to ten.
Conversation.
- What did Petya learn in kindergarten?
- Whom did Petya meet at the gate of the house?
- What did Petya decide to show his sister? Did he manage to do it? Why?
- What did Petya say to his sister when he could not remember what number comes after five?
- How do you think Valya felt when Petya said that she was preventing him from thinking? Why do you think so?
- What did Valya decide to do to help her brother? Why did she do this?
- Think: if you were in Vali's place, what would you do to help your brother? Why?
- How do you think Petya felt when Valya helped him remember the score? Why do you think so?
- Should we help each other? Why?
Display and selection of pictures depicting the emotional states of people corresponding to the emotional states of the characters in the story.
The game "Conversation through glass" (E.O. Smirnova, V.M. Kholmogorova).
Target. To form the ability to take into account the emotional state of a peer, to repeat and transmit information received from him. Stimulate the desire to understand the other without words.
Game progress
The teacher helps the children to pair up, then says: “Imagine that one of you is in a large store, and the other is waiting for him on the street. But you forgot to agree on what you need to buy, and the exit is at the other end of the store. Try to negotiate purchases through the window glass. But remember that such a thick glass separates you that trying to scream is useless: your partner will not hear you anyway. After you have agreed, you can discuss whether you understood each other correctly. The teacher explains to one of the children with gestures what he should buy, and then asks if he understood everything. Then the children play on their own. The teacher monitors the progress of the game, helps if the players are at a loss. In the next game, the children switch roles.
Application
Techniques for developing the emotional intelligence of a child that parents can use:
Create a positive emotional background in the family. This contributes to the well-being of the child. If he is not feeling well, he cannot think of others.
Talk to the child: ask about what happened to him today in kindergarten or in the yard, how he perceived various situations, what emotions he had. Discuss what behaviors were possible, how those around him perceived his actions and how they would react to other behavior. Give the child the opportunity to express everything that he thinks, and then together with him choose the most suitable way behavior.
Remember that you are an example for your child. Children learn by imitating the actions of the people around them, and especially their parents.
Encourage your child to play with other children. Exactly at joint activities the child acquires communication skills.
Help your child recognize emotional states drawings and photographs that can be found in magazines and newspapers.
Read stories and poems to your child that are “saturated” with emotions. Discuss with him the behavior of the characters and possible options behavior. Offer to make changes to the plot or come up with a different ending.
Remember that children who openly express their emotions get the opportunity to use them creatively in their lives. At the same time, it is important to talk about emotions and feelings, because when pronouncing, naming these mental states, the child comprehends the emotional experience. But the regular suppression of emotions entails the appearance of fears and self-doubt, a decrease in the ability to learn.
Talk to your child on seemingly regular topics: why we should help each other, how the other person will feel if we help him, and if not; how we feel when we swear and when we try to calmly talk to each other; what to do if a friend is sad or happy; what to do if you are bored yourself; what to do if you have a cake, but your friend does not ... In all these situations, try to show the child how important it is to be oriented towards other people.
Relieve stress in your child with movement exercises.
Emotional intelligence is a phenomenon that, at first glance, contains a contradiction. The intellect is usually understood as the mental, cognitive sphere of a person, and emotions are something irrational that cannot be controlled by the mind.
But emotions and feelings can be controlled by the individual, fully realized, controlled by an effort of will. The ability to understand and manage one's own emotional experiences, as well as the experiences of other people, is defined as"emotional intellect".
Developing emotional intelligence is useful both for the inner harmony of the individual and for harmony in relationships with others, in the family and at work. Developed emotional intelligence contributes to the maintenance of physical and mental health.
Emotional intelligence needs to be developed because it:
- promotes awareness, understanding and acceptance of oneself, without self-flagellation and self-digging,
- develops intuition, the ability to understand non-verbal cues in communication,
- balances emotional reactions in stressful situations
- develops stress tolerance
- teaches you to better understand other people, their emotions and feelings,
- helps to resolve communication difficulties, find compromises,
- promotes conflict resolution through cooperation,
- protects against manipulation, does not allow a person to become a victim of a manipulator,
- promotes the adoption of deliberate, rather than impulsive decisions,
- prevents emotional burnout at work,
- increases susceptibility to the signals of one's own body, develops an understanding of the psychosomatic aspect of the development of diseases,
- develops the ability to relax and rest, turning off the "internal dialogue".
Ways to develop emotional intelligence
For some people, emotional intelligence is sufficiently developed already in childhood due to the peculiarities of upbringing, while other people experience significant difficulties and need tips on how to develop the ability to understand others and themselves. Emotional intelligence develops in the process of personality development, in the course of socialization and the accumulation of life experience.
To develop emotional intelligenceneed to systematically work on yourselfin the following directions:
Widespread simple technique control of emotions called "count to ten." A person, before expressing his opinion and emotions to another individual, counts in his mind from one to ten. The essence of this technique is not in the account, but in the fact that you should first think, and then speak or do!
The wonderful proverb “Measure seven times - cut one” is the best way to characterize a developed emotional intelligence!
We experience emotions 24 hours a day, even when we sleep, but only a very small part of people know how to truly manage them. These people are experts in emotions, they are good at understanding and coping with their feelings, and they also decipher the feelings of other people. What are the benefits of this skill? By increasing your emotional intelligence, you will be able to succeed in many areas of your life (from personal to social) and learn to solve problems without involving unnecessary emotions. In addition, there is a high probability that you will be satisfied with your life, because you will be able to understand what your psychology needs at any given time. You will learn to motivate yourself literally out of the blue - with the help of ordinary thoughts. You will not need external factors to be happy, because you know how to direct your emotions in the direction you need and achieve the desired mood.
Everyone dreams of learning to think clearly. But what does it mean? You will not be able to get your point across if you are annoyed and angry, because at such moments your mind is clogged with emotional debris that prevents you from thinking. If you control your emotions, you can control your mind.
In addition, you probably know what catastrophic consequences they carry. They can deprive you of everything - life, money, reputation and happiness. While a person who controls his emotions is healthy and cheerful, he enjoys life and looks at all problems as new opportunities.
Our course was written with the aim of increasing your level of emotional intelligence, which will certainly entail all the positive consequences that we mentioned above.
What is emotional intelligence?
The traditional IQ intelligence test was unable to predict a person's success in personal, public life and career. People who have high intelligence, did not necessarily achieve their goals and vice versa - not very smart people somehow magically reached incredible heights. Therefore, the question arose in society: “So what affects the quality of life, the achievement of happiness and success?” And many psychologists believe that they have found the answer - it is about increasing the level of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence (EI, emotional intelligence) is the ability of a person to recognize emotions, understand the intentions and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their emotions and the emotions of other people to solve practical problems.
There is also less scientific definition, which was given by Howard Book and Stephen Stein: this is the ability to correctly interpret the situation and influence it, intuitively capture what other people want and need, know their strengths and weak sides don't give in and be charming.
Simply put, your emotional intelligence is at a high level when you are balanced in any situation and can positively influence the emotions of other people. In this regard, emotional intelligence can be divided into two elements: understanding one's own and others' emotions.
Application of emotional intelligence in life
Whether you like it or not, you experience emotions in any situation: when communicating with a person, in art gallery, supermarket. Therefore, you use emotional intelligence every day, the only difference is how high its level is.
You, and only you, decide what emotions and feelings to experience at any given moment. If you want to feel resentment and irritation - please. If you want to enjoy life and look to the future with optimism, you can achieve this too. You will be calm and balanced if you understand your emotions and begin to control them.
But why then understand the emotions of other people? Is it not enough to understand your own and learn how to manage them? We communicate with people every day in one form or another, so understanding how a person feels and why is a key moment in building good, harmonious relationships. You may not be very talented person and not have outstanding intelligence, but if you know how to communicate with people and they respect and appreciate you, then you will achieve great success.
How to develop emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence itself is a skill that can and should be developed. You will need discipline and patience, because serious success will not come immediately. You have to look at life with optimism, because at times you will fail, fall back and experience negative emotions that you want to get rid of. You also need to learn how to motivate yourself, because without this skill, you will not be able to increase your level of emotional intelligence every day. Our course will give you everything you need to do this.
In order to recognize negative, destructive emotions in time, you need to be aware. We will touch on this point, but we advise you to take a course on spiritual practices, and especially a lesson on. The first step in the fight against any enemy (destructive emotions) is recognizing it, which is why it is so important to be aware and notice when your emotions are out of control.
In our course you will find some good and useful exercises to develop emotional intelligence. Remember that serious results come only with practice, so put the knowledge into practice and study yourself.
You will need to understand how your . Each person has their own unique traits that affect how they think, feel and make decisions. However, even if you think that you have studied your psychology completely and know yourself, keep watching yourself, because everything changes. You today and you tomorrow are different people, so notice the changes in yourself and draw the appropriate conclusions. Tune in long haul and make it as attractive as possible. Remember that no one but yourself can help you.
The first good results will come to you after the end of the course, if you follow all the tips and recommendations that you will find in our lessons. Read biographies prominent people and evaluate their lives in terms of emotional intelligence. Would you have been able to or achieve such outstanding success if you had not been able to manage your emotions and influence the emotions of other people? You yourself know the answer to this question.
Do you want to test your knowledge?
If you want to test your theoretical knowledge on the topic of the course and understand how it suits you, you can take our test. Only 1 option can be correct for each question. After you select one of the options, the system automatically moves on to the next question.
Emotional Intelligence Lessons
After studying a large number of books and textbooks, we came to the conclusion that emotional intelligence can be increased by studying theory and applying it in practice. We have developed five lessons for you to help you learn to understand own emotions and other people's emotions.
Course objective: to acquaint our reader with emotional intelligence, its models and the necessary skills for its development and improvement.
Course objective: to teach the reader to manage their emotions and develop their empathy, assertiveness and listening skills.
We present to your attention a short overview of each of the lessons.
For, in fact, not much is needed. You need to find a business that you want to do all your life, feel that your work is needed by society and achieve your goals. The challenge is to learn to look at life with hope and faith and to motivate yourself to wake up every morning with a smile and determination to live the day with maximum benefit. In this lesson, we will teach you to look at life with optimism. It means not only to see the good side any problem, but also to take action to solve it. We will touch on positive psychology and the power that positive thinking brings. You will be surprised how easy and at the same time difficult it is to change negative thoughts into positive ones. And when you achieve success, you learn to control your emotions and use them to achieve success.
How to take classes?
The approximate duration of our course is two weeks. You can run through it in a few days, but remember that the course offers to learn several skills, and they in turn require a lot of work on yourself. We have tried to simplify the submission of the material as much as possible and not to overload you. scientific terms and concepts, so you do not need to especially set yourself up and study Additional materials before taking the course. One small condition - keep a notebook and a pen near you. You will surely come up with interesting thoughts, so write them down right away. In addition, some of our exercises require recording.
The first and second lessons are related to the theory, but do not rush to immediately move on to the third. You need to be clear about the importance of raising your emotional intelligence and learning about its patterns in order to move not by touch, but by knowing exactly where you are going. Set aside one or two days for each of the theory lessons.
The third, fourth and fifth lessons are practice. In this regard, allocate yourself the maximum possible number and go through them slowly. Do all the exercises and listen to all the recommendations and advice. Remember that any knowledge must be instantly transformed into action, otherwise it will be meaningless.
Books and textbooks
Should I continue my studies after completing the course? Of course, because the psychology of emotions is a rather complex and unstable matter, so you must accustom yourself to long-term training. However, this is quite interesting and should not carry an element of compulsion. Read the literature we recommend, periodically repeat the exercises from the course, keep a diary and remain aware, no matter what happens.
- . Daniel Goleman.
- Emotional Intelligence in Business. Daniel Goleman.
- The ABC of Emotional Intelligence. Irina Andreeva.
- Path to prosperity. New understanding of happiness and well-being. Martin Seligman.
- Meditation and Mindfulness. Andy Puddicombe.
- The power of positive thinking. Norman Vincent Peel.
- AdvantagesEQ: emotional culture and your success. Stephen Stein, Howard Book.
We wish you good luck and as parting words we suggest you read the quotes famous people.
Quotes from famous people about the importance of managing emotions
“Forgiveness is understood as some emotion. This is not true. Rather, it is the cessation of some emotion.” Iris Murdoch.
“They believe that success comes to those who get up early. No. Success comes to those who wake up in good mood". Marcel Asher.
"Only the one who subjugated them can live by passions." Albert Camus.
“To be happy, you need to constantly strive for this happiness and understand it. It does not depend on circumstances, but on oneself. Lev Tolstoy.
"Our emotional mood causes fatigue to a much greater extent than physical exertion. Dale Carnegie.
"Feeling is fire, thoughts are oil." Vissarion Belinsky.
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start getting positive results.” Willie Nelson.
"In times of great stress or trouble, it's always best to keep yourself busy turning your anger and energy into something positive." Lee Iacocca.
"Laughter is the best remedy expressions of positive emotions. Norman Cousins.
"If in difficult situations you focus on opportunities, you can change your attitude, reduce stress, and focus on achieving things that might have seemed impossible before.” Katerina Palsifer.
“We are what we think. Our emotions are the slaves of our thoughts, and we, in turn, are the slaves of our emotions.” Elizabeth Gilbert.
“Emotions, as well as worries, cloud a clear head. Everything will change a hundred times.” Erich Maria Remarque.
“If emotions are in order, resentment and troubles will disappear themselves.” Neuah.
“Discipline is important, but get used to good emotions. This is the only discipline you need." Esther and Jerry Hicks.
“Emotions have their own smell and taste; perhaps they are transmitted from person to person by means of some special waves. Diana Setterfield.
"All the right thoughts come only after the emotions are over." Napoleon Hill.
“If you free the problem from emotions, it remains just a situation.” Unknown author.
“Anger is a message that there is a problem that needs to be resolved later.” Paul Ekman.
We wish you success in raising your level of emotional intelligence!
Victoria Shimanskaya is a psychologist, a leading specialist in the field of emotional intelligence (EQ) research in Russia, the author of the Monsiki methodology for developing the EQ of children, a partner in the EQ-factor Laboratory, a leader of master classes and trainings on the subject of EQ - about the intellectual-emotional profile of a personality and its role in organizing and running a business.
Key Factors in Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is talked about a lot these days. The need to develop emotional intelligence has been repeatedly proven by scientists and various examples from life and business.
Obviously, a person with a higher level of emotional intelligence perceives reality more adequately and reacts to it and interacts with it much more effectively. This applies to almost all communications - both interpersonal and social; subjective and objective experiences; abstract and concrete concepts. Thus, emotional intelligence has become one of the new tools for business management, building effective communications and management.
The perception of information occurs through sensory systems. In this case, key areas of the brain act first, and then the reactions of the autonomic nervous, muscular and other systems take place. Interaction with information, with oneself and the outside world is built depending on the degree of development of the key drivers of emotional intelligence: awareness, self-esteem, motivation, adaptability.
Drivers actually contain basic personality traits, but they are not immutable and can evolve.
Each driver can be unlocked through four skills:
- awareness through awareness of one's thoughts and emotions, one's body and behavior;
- self-esteem through a positive perception of the world and determination, as well as through acceptance and assertiveness (a person’s ability not to depend on external influences and assessments, to independently regulate their own behavior and be responsible for it);
- motivation through the desire for self-actualization and determination, as well as through open perception of the new, strong goal-setting and objective experience of failures;
- adaptability through conscious empathy with another person - empathy, stress resistance, decision making and sociability.
Emotional quote
It is necessary to pay attention to the fact that emotional intelligence does not exist separately from the intellect. Over the past three decades, science has advanced significantly, studying the interaction of the emotional and intellectual spheres (IQ and EQ) from the point of view of brain activity, psychology and business.
“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of the heart over the head - this is the only way for the intersection of both,” David R. Caruso, a psychologist, professor of the Department of Psychology at Yale University (USA), once said management and co-author of the concept of emotional intelligence.
Along with the well-known abbreviation IQ (Eng. Intelligence Quotient - intelligence quotient or intelligence quotient), there is the concept of emotional EQ ( English. Emotional Quotient), which was introduced by clinical physiologist Reuven Bar-On back in 1985. In 1996, at a meeting of the American Psychological Association in Toronto, he presented his EQ-i (Emotional Quotient Inventory) test, which contained a list of questions to determine the coefficient of emotional intelligence, from which the now famous Bar-On model of emotional intelligence was born.
Despite the fact that the interaction of IQ and EQ is recognized by many researchers, the first model that clearly showed the interaction of these two coefficients was developed by Russian scientists at the EQ-factor Emotional Intelligence Laboratory under the leadership of N. Koro and V. Shimanskaya.
Intellectual-emotional profile of the leader's personality
This model is integral part intellectual-emotional personality profile IEPP. According to this model, emotional intelligence EQ is a kind of base of the personality pyramid in the coordinate system. The vectors of this system are EQ drivers and form various strategies of behavior in various fields life:
- awareness - the "strategy of philosophers";
- self-esteem - the "strategy of the stars";
- motivation - "strategy of heroes";
- adaptability - the "strategy of leaders".
When emotional intelligence connects with the IQ intelligence vector, the “strategy of creators” is formed - a strategy that is key in all areas of life, and even more so in business.
It is the “strategy of the creators” that makes it possible to realize the potential of a person to such an extent that in the end he reaches the very high level self-realization. Therefore, the larger this pyramid has (due to the development of EQ drivers and IQ itself), the more opportunities a person will have to influence his own life, the lives of other people and the world as a whole.
IN modern world any leader and entrepreneur must be a creator - to create not just a product or service, but best product, the best service, best service and the best experience. And this is almost impossible without the ability to manage your emotions.
How to develop EQ?
As already noted in this article, the development of EQ occurs through the development of its main factors - drivers. Therefore, it is necessary first of all to develop them.
1. Exercise for the development of "mindfulness"
- Close your ears and concentrate on environment try to see all the details. How the picture will become "brighter" and you will notice something that you did not pay attention to before.
- Then close your eyes and concentrate on the sounds. In a normal situation, we subconsciously concentrate on a zone of no more than 1.5 meters around us. “Expanding” our hearing, we begin to notice the nuances of natural and mechanical.
- Close your eyes and ears together. Feel how your body interacts with the world around you - for example, the touch of wind or grass on it, if you are ready to take off your shoes.
It is enough to do this exercise once a week so that the ability to recognize the voice intonations of interlocutors, the nuances of facial expressions become much higher. This will allow you to more accurately determine the explicit and hidden messages of the interlocutors and, most importantly, own reaction to certain processes, as well as to understand how your body reacts to information, how it experiences emotions.
2. For the development of “adaptability”, a simple training on “emotion cards” is suitable
You depict anger, joy, sadness or interest - depending on which card you draw. It's simple and effective method"work out" your emotional expression. At the same time, your efficiency as a negotiator increases several times.
3. To develop “self-esteem”, you should first master the poses of power
Power poses are postures of the human body that "start" the production of dopamine: a straight back, arms raised up, head held high. The production of this hormone contributes to a better memorization of material and information.
One minute of this exercise before negotiations will make you feel much more confident.
4. To develop "motivation" do the following right now
Write down ten things you enjoy doing. Then reformulate them so that only the verbs remain. Find the exact verb the best way will transfer one or another occupation.
Use these verbs to create a plan for the month. And during this month you will need to live ten days under the motto of this word. Traveling or laughing, tasting and learning new things, jumping or counting - there are many options.
For example, under the motto of the verb "tasting", you can go to a specialty restaurant or wine boutique - or maybe have a party at home. And it can also become a concept for the presentation of goods and services of your company.
Just live each of these days 200% with the ten words of action that really make up your essence of growth - what you can give to the world.
By doing these exercises, you are sure to move closer to your true goals than you have in the past few years, because you will be engaged in the most important thing a successful businessman or leader - the implementation of the "creator strategy".
Integrals, theorems, chemical formulas and little known historical dates- a complicated thing, but completely useless in ordinary everyday life. How much time is devoted to memorizing practically unnecessary material at the school desk, while really meaningful things are missed. But the realization of a person in life depends much more on the ability to manage one's own than on mental abilities.
Let's take examples of any successful entrepreneurs - Jack Welsh, Richard Branson, Reed Hoffman, Larry Page. All of them have achieved tremendous success not only thanks to the mind, but also the ability to gather around them the right people, to organize their work correctly, to direct their abilities in the right direction. How did they do it? The great merit of such individuals lies in efficient use emotional intelligence! Let's develop emotional intelligence!
In essence, emotional intelligence is the ability to manage, understand, and manipulate one's own and others' emotions; the ability to recognize intentions and a person, using them to achieve personal goals. So, D. Wexler and K. Steiner proved in their own way that high career achievements and success in society are achieved precisely by those individuals who have a well-developed ability to find mutual language with others who have learned to effectively interact in society thanks to emotional connections.
Emotional intellect
Professor D. Goleman identified the following components of emotional intelligence.
1. The ability to recognize emotions by outward behavior, gestures and voice, without which it is impossible to easily make contacts.
2. The ability to empathize as the ability to hear and understand the feelings of other people, to respond to them correctly, showing care and empathy in time. This quality helps build trust.
3. The ability to motivate oneself not only with material (monetary) rewards, but also to enjoy the very fact of conquering.
4. The ability to self-awareness, analysis of oneself and one's feelings, understanding the causes of conflicts in relationships, goals, one's strengths and weaknesses.
5. The ability to self-control, which is manifested in the ability to flexibly manage own feelings and emotions, restraining negative impulses.
6. The ability to manipulate other people, the ability to be convincing in the eyes of the interlocutor, urging him to work for the benefit of his own professional interests.
How to develop emotional intelligence?
Knowing practical value skillful management of emotions, we now come to the main question: how to develop emotional intelligence? Here are 6 simple, but no less effective ways.
1. Keeping a self-observation diary. To learn how to manage others, you need to study yourself and your own well. Start, in which write down the conflicts of the day, what you felt at that moment, and how you managed to cope with dangerous situation? What dominated you? What conclusions did you draw?
2. Lessons of communication and interaction. Even if you do not like to be in a large team, or do not burn with the desire to communicate a lot, try to overpower yourself and build a dialogue with the most different people your circle. Try to find out their opinion about you and your abilities, weak and strengths Look at yourself through their eyes. You will discover many new things!
3. The view of all parties to the conflict. It is very important to be flexible in communication, especially if the interlocutor has a bright temperament and defends the opposite point of view. Try to look at the subject through his eyes, give up the old way of thinking to reach a compromise.
4. Ability to pause. Before you react in the usual way to the next offer or accusation, pause and consider the reaction that has arisen, is it good? Is it possible to express a thought in some other way so as not to offend the interlocutor and better convey your own to him?
5. An adviser with an opposite opinion. Very often people who are different from us can give such useful advice which would never have crossed our minds. Make friends with your opposite and consult with him in difficult situations, this will avoid many unpleasant moments in the future.
6. - as a result. If something makes you angry or nervous, don't give up or flood your stress with alcohol. The most correct decision is to direct the energy of destruction to achieve results. That is, do not let it drift, but once again indicate the direction.
By developing emotional intelligence, you learn not only to solve problems, but also to manage the thoughts and feelings of others for the benefit of your own interests. This ability will make you an informal leader of any team, preparing a good springboard for future success.
