ancient wisdom states: "A man must do three things in his life: plant a tree, build a house, and raise a son." This phrase was attributed to eastern peoples, and Caucasian, and even specific person such as Omar Khayyam. And they pronounce it differently: a real man must...", "...raise a child (not a son)."
One can argue for a long time what is hidden behind this phrase: "Home" is general concept family, family hearth. "Son" or "child" - it was important in antiquity: then there were many wars, and the son is the future protector. And only about the tree there is no doubt, everything is simple and unambiguous - a person (even a man, even a woman) must plant a tree.
If this thought has passed through the centuries, then it reflects the truth. Why did people want to pass on to generations that everyone should plant a tree?
We cut down a lot of trees, build houses out of them, burn them in fireboxes, and now we make paper too... And how many do we plant?
Trees are the lungs of our planet. This phrase is not so ancient, but it also reflects the truth. Nothing can replace the cleansing effect that the leaves of trees produce.
Our cities are more and more like gray concrete boxes, among which thousands of cars smoke.
What are we ready to do to correct this situation? How many trees does one family need to provide for themselves clean air?
Try planting a tree. At least one...
The gardener will immediately think to himself: "I have already planted more than one tree: apple, cherry, pear, plum ...". Honor and praise to you! But why only fruit trees? Unfortunately, their age is short. In addition, all this - in the territory of your garden. And in the city there are so many abandoned corners and bare playgrounds, where there is nowhere to hide from the dust and the sun.
WOOD AS A MEMORY...
In ancient times, everything that is important was clothed in symbolic form gave it some special meaning.
It was important to inspire people to plant trees, and came up with the concept of "family tree". It was a symbol of the strength of the family family, a symbol of long-term family happiness.
Such a tree was planted in the same year that it was built. new house, and the house was built when it was created new family: Then children were born ... And years later the children said: this oak (cedar, maple) was planted by my father or grandfather. Such a tree is a kind of monument (from the word memory) - a memory of your life.
By the way, the tree became the property of the whole village, because they planted it IN FRONT of the house - behind the fence.
Each man considered himself the ancestor (or successor) of his kind. It was important that the family tree did not die or that a new tree would grow instead of the old one, that is, the family lineage would not be interrupted. From here it came that every MAN should plant a tree.
WHICH TREE TO PLANT?
Your garden with fruit trees is, of course, good. But fruit crops have one significant "flaw". In autumn, so many fruits ripen that they need to be processed urgently. If this is not a problem for you - plant on your health.
And if you are busy at work and want to relax in the garden, then no one bothers you to plant maple, linden, chestnut, oak and other trees. They are more durable than apple trees and do not burden you with the hassle of harvesting. Who said that in the garden you MUST grow only fruit trees?
MAPLE. Grows tall and powerful. An adult maple occupies a lot of area on six acres. But how beautiful he is! In autumn, the leaves are painted with all colors in yellow-orange tones. In summer carved leaves create a cozy tent, under which it is pleasant to drink tea or take a nap in a hammock. But in practice, it rarely happens that maples are planted in the garden - it’s not allowed!
I have a friend who defended the right to have a huge maple on the site. At a meeting of gardeners, the question was raised that this allegedly contradicts the Charter of Horticulture.
But the maple does not interfere with anyone, all the shadow from it falls only on the territory of their site. And under this tree on weekends the whole big family gathers ...
By the way, now there is an opportunity to plant not an ordinary maple, but false sibolds. Its leaves are just as bright, but more elegant in shape.
LINDEN. Another example of a "non-standard" garden plant. Once I came to the garden, where the whole front garden was in the shade of a huge linden tree. No one knew how old she was.
I asked: "Why such a huge tree that obscures the sun and prevents growing beautiful flowers?" Without explaining anything, I was invited to visit a week later. Then everything became clear to me. The air was saturated with the scent of linden - honey, sweet, magical! Yes, the owner of the house made a wise decision when he planted this beautiful linden. And again, it grows behind the fence. This is the property of the whole street, which is filled with this aroma every summer.
CHESTNUT - it seems, not our tree, southern. But in Central Russia, the horse chestnut took root perfectly. It is he who blooms with "candles" of white beautiful flowers and has large palmate leaves. Blooms are expected every year as it is a delightful sight! And in autumn, the crown glows with golden foliage.
Once planted such a chestnut a little boy not far from our house - I just buried a nut found in the park. Now this chestnut tree has grown to the fifth floor, and the boy is already an adult, working as a doctor. His son is proud that his dad is a doctor, and also that he planted a chestnut.
CEDAR. They say it is "a tree for grandchildren". They mean that it bears fruit late, you will wait for nuts when there are already grandchildren.
In our time, this is not entirely true. Varieties with a faster fruiting period have been created. But we agreed that the fruits for us - not the main thing. We are planting a family tree. Cedar is just like that. I also have a special story about him.
Once upon a time, when I was still studying at the university, our friends decided to plant a cedar - from a nut. I asked: "When will he grow up? All life will pass!"
And now, many years later, we came to their garden. A handsome cedar grows in front of the house! The crown is lush, above the roof. And life has not yet passed ... My son is 23 years old, about the same age as the cedar.
SPRUCE. Previously, spruce was not planted as a family tree, considering that it brings misfortune. This was due to the fact that in ancient times the deceased person was covered with juniper branches (they have a strong bactericidal effect). If there was no juniper nearby, they took spruce branches.
Under Peter the Great, spruce became a Christmas tree, and then a New Year's tree. Now the Christmas tree in front of the house is both desirable and beautiful. All year round, she decorates the space with her lush green needles.
ROWAN. There is no need to talk about her. Loved by all and even sung in many songs and poems. Rowan is decorative all year round. This can rarely be said about deciduous trees, because in winter they stand bare. And the mountain ash is all in red clusters. Under the snow they are a miracle, how good!
And in the spring it is a lush bloom. In summer - openwork foliage. And starting from August, again ruby clusters, under the weight of which the branches bend. Well, how can you not love her!
April and early May is the time for planting trees. Have you decided which ones to plant?
E. Demchuk, designer
So, 3 things a real man should do. Previously, a man had to build a house. What was meant by this? In fact, the house was then an opportunity to protect oneself from the cold and attacks of enemies. After all, a castle can also be called a home, fortified and protected from all external enemies. Indeed strong and good house earlier, it was very much appreciated, because the more reliable the house was, the more the person got the opportunity to protect himself from various weather disasters and protect himself from ill-wishers. In addition, not every person could afford to build a real dwelling, and not a shack that would fall apart from a light breeze. That is why men have always tried to build real home, To obtain good bride. Indeed, at all times, parents tried to marry their daughter to the most reliable young man. A strong house was the first proof of its reliability. This meant that the man was able to accumulate funds on his own and build his own dwelling, which also proved his physical strength.
What does a strong and large mansion in modern world. Well, probably, that the man has the financial ability to purchase it or hire workers for construction. Now, few people will build a house with their own hands. And, if this happens, it will most likely indicate that a person does not have enough funds to pay a professional team of builders. Building a house with his own hands will take more than one year, and therefore, in the modern world, a man should rather not build a house, but acquire a presentable home. It does not have to be a cottage or mansion. Also, a beautiful spacious apartment in a good area of the city can serve as a “home”. Probably, the concept of a house, in fact, has not changed much since the past. The parents of the bride are still concerned about the living space of the future son-in-law. Only now they are not worried about barbarian raids and cold winters, but about the prospects of living in the same apartment with the young, which, of course, they don’t want at all, or the possibility of renting an apartment that will not be so cheap, which will affect their daughter’s future family budget . So, we can conclude that the first thing that a modern man should do is get a living space. And let it be a gift, an inheritance, or an honestly earned apartment, the main thing is that the guy has a place to live with his future wife.
The second is to plant a tree. What was once meant by this? A tree is, first of all, give birth. And if there is a harvest, then in winter the family will not starve. Then, by planting a tree, they meant that a young man has his own land, on which he can and knows how to grow bread, vegetables and fruits. It is no secret that farming used to be one of the main professions. If a man was a good farmer, he had food in the house, besides, many products were sold. For the proceeds, the guy had the opportunity to buy clothes, household utensils and firewood for the winter, so as not to freeze in a cold house.
Then it turns out that for a modern man, planting a tree means getting Good work. Now, when you can buy almost everything, the main currency is not bread, but money. Yes and requests modern people an order of magnitude higher than that of their ancestors. Therefore, in order to live well in the modern world, it is necessary to have enough funds, which, as you know, bring a promising well-paid job. That is why, modern guys should not just learn how to cultivate their land well. They need to have high intelligence and get it at the university a good education, which can be used to find suitable job. Also, in order to have high earnings. You need to be ambitious and courageous, be able to find non-standard solutions and never give up. So, to some extent, modern men harder to follow the second rule.
Well, the third - to raise a son. Perhaps this is the one thing that will never change. Each person wants to continue his family, to see in his children best qualities which he pledged to them from infancy. Of course, times are changing, and the methods of education are also becoming somewhat different, but, nevertheless, one thing remains at the core - to raise a worthy member of society from your child. That's what every real man tries to do. He will never leave his offspring and will not try to evade obligations. real man and real father will raise his child and never say that he simply does not have time. Such men always had time to build houses and grow trees, but at the same time, their children were never left without male education. The upbringing of such men is strict and fair, and they undoubtedly love their children very much. For the sake of a child, these guys build the warmest and most comfortable house and raise the most tall tree. They do everything they can and even try to do the impossible.
So, 3 things that a real man should do in the modern world is to get a good living space, have a well-paid job and do everything so that his children do not need love, care and proper education. If a man is able to achieve this, he will be able to fully realize himself in life. But, in fact, fulfilling these three rules is not so easy. A lot of effort needs to be put in. Therefore, it is not surprising that not all men achieve such results, and, consequently, self-realization. But, if your boyfriend has a nice house or apartment, a job that brings him not only high income, but also joy, and, in addition, he loves children very much and is ready to invest his whole soul and all finances in them - it means that there is really a real man nearby who deserves you.
Book review by Mag Jay. important years. Why You Shouldn't Postpone Your Life. Moscow: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber. 2015
Mag Jay, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and practicing lecturer at the University of California at Berkeley who has been studying the problems of young people in their twenties and thirties for many years. On the pages of the new book, the author disassembles and analyzes touching stories their students and patients. I was advised to read this book by my daughter (she is 25 years old - the very middle important years). I got interested in the novelty.
Prologue, preface and introduction. The introduction is too long in my opinion. Most young people (the author addresses them) simply cannot overcome this “closed door”: the main idea is repeated many times over thirty-six pages. So the child is stuffed with nasty semolina, convincing that it is useful. During the master class literary creativity my teacher B.T. Evseev (very fashionable contemporary writer) often repeats: “In modern prose there is an active shift of the reader's interest from a long and tedious novel to a short and capacious story. The shorter the story (of course, a good one), the more freedom for the reader to think. He kind of becomes a co-author of the narrator.” Time at modern youth not enough to read long scientific books, and even with notations. Will not! It's a pity!
Our young people of 20-30 years old, unlike their American peers, rarely attend psychotherapy sessions. We do not accept this - a different mentality, a different culture and upbringing. Our young people solve this kind of problems alone. Sometimes they consult with friends, less often with parents. Some turn to the book (but finding the right one is not easy, and reader activity for last years dropped sharply). Here they remain unresolved social problems, dragging behind them unemployment, drug addiction, and a bunch of other nasty things.
The format of this book - conversations with a psychologist - may not appeal to our audience. It would be good to present important thoughts and advice in a shorter and in a different form, close to our realities. For example, like stories or stories from the life of 20-30-year-olds with comments, let's say, an adult girlfriend, older sister or brother. I suggested such a topic for discussion in the Discourse. Our authors are happy to share stories from their lives. And together we will help the heroes who find themselves in a difficult situation.
The book consists of three parts each divided into chapters. I will elaborate on the first part.
Part one. Job
Chapter first. Identity Capital.
Identity capital is a collection of personal assets, a store of those individual resources that we accumulate over time. This is our investment in ourselves. Some aspects of identity capital are displayed in our resume - it can be education, work experience ... Others are more personal character- ancestral roots, how we solve problems, how we speak and how we look. Identity capital is how we create ourselves: step by step, little by little. And its most important element is what we bring to the market. adult life. This is the currency for which we, figuratively speaking, “buy” work, relationships and everything we strive for. A person must continuously replenish that "cherished well" from which he can drink pure life-giving moisture throughout his life. And the decade between twenty and thirty years is a period of life when the "well" is filled very actively. Everything should work for the future: contacts, experience, new knowledge (learn foreign language, learn to swim, dance, draw, look distant countries). In the future, the accumulated is mainly spent (and replenished less often).
Sometimes young people, cherishing their freedom, are content with casual work (albeit uninteresting, boring, but leaving a lot of free time for the so-called. happy life- sleep longer, meet friends, just enjoy doing nothing until real real adulthood has come). But real life may not come, but cruel reality will ruthlessly throw you to the sidelines of life, to numerous losers. And what gives such imaginary freedom? Casual work does not bring much money, self-development slows down (and sometimes a young person completely degrades in an inappropriate company). Discipline is lost, skills are lost. No need to follow appearance surfing the Internet for hours with chips and a bottle of beer. Meanwhile, others are actively accumulating their "identity capital", confidently moving forward towards their dream. They will take best places V future life: will become leaders of companies, successful creative people. “If, after receiving a university degree, a person’s resume appears too often incomprehensible entries about work in the field retail or in a cafe, this suggests its degradation. This kind of activity can negatively affect not only the resume, but also the whole life.”
Chapter two. Weak ties. Close social circle with close friends reverse side. It forms the so-called. strong ties, connecting people with similar interests, life principles. Friends are always ready to help Hard time. But no less important are weak ties between people unfamiliar. It can be colleagues or neighbors, old friends with whom you communicate from time to time. “When we share career ideas or thoughts about love with them, we have to formulate everything much more clearly. So weak ties activate, and sometimes even force a deliberate process of development and change. Weak ties are like a bridge with no end in sight, meaning no one knows where it might lead.”
Thus, expanding the circle of communication, we discover new opportunities for ourselves both in our careers and in personal relationships.
Another important thought: don't be afraid to make and use useful connections. The author claims that “... making useful connections, using contacts and other similar actions is quite normal. Personally, this has never bothered me, but I have friends who are very stressed about the fact that their relatives helped them find a job. I am an employee of one of the three the best companies in the industry, I only know one person who actually got a job without knowing anyone in the company. Everyone else got here by acquaintance.”
For our young people, proud and ambitious, it is a big problem to seek help in finding work from relatives, unfamiliar influential people. So they sit for hours on HeadHunter, and then the ordeals for dubious companies begin. First - interviews, then - probation(it is often used by scammers and unscrupulous employers), and as a result - disappointment, wasted energy. And again looking for a job. Such running around in a vicious circle often leads to a loss of interest in any work and depression. Precious time is lost, it is difficult, and sometimes even impossible to make up for it. It is important to understand that when you are hired on the basis of a recommendation, this does not mean that someone has already done everything for you. They just helped you get on the first step. And the way you show yourself is solely your personal merit. And her colleagues and superiors will appreciate her, not remembering the small service rendered once by influential acquaintances. Well, if you couldn’t prove yourself, then “no connections will help you make your foot small, your soul big, and your heart fair,” as the king said in the movie Cinderella about the evil schemer-stepmother who was kicked out of the kingdom without looking at her "big connections".
“Studies show that in adulthood, the network social contacts narrows as careers and family life keep people busy. That is why, even if we often change jobs, move from place to place, live with different people and spend a lot of time at parties - this is the best time to make useful connections. Weak ties are contacts with people who will help you improve your life right now (and will do so again and again in the coming years), if you only take the liberty to figure out what you really want.
Chapter three. Unconscious known. The author, using the example of the story of a young man, Ian, argues that those who made their career choice early live happier than those who mark time. Ian (and many of his peers) are in the middle of an ocean of opportunity. All paths are open, but he does not know where to go. A guy with a university education works as a waiter in a cafe. In the company of his colleagues, it is not customary to “take out the brain” with arguments about lofty goals The day has passed, and it's okay. And, moreover, it is not customary to take responsibility for anything. “When Ian complained to his parents about his aimless wandering in the ocean of possibilities, he heard another lie. His father and mother said, “You are the best! The whole world is at your feet!” They assured him that he could do whatever he wanted. They did not understand that such vague support did not bring any benefit to the son. Lies only lead astray, away from the right path.
Ian finally realized that continuing to "go with the flow" is unlikely to achieve his goal (to become a computer artist). He changes jobs, and this decision is not easy for him: it is difficult to admit the mistake of choice and return to the starting point.
Chapter Four. Everything on Facebook should look beautiful.
“I graduated from college almost two years ago. For almost fifteen years I tormented myself with the pursuit of perfection and thought that new life, which will begin after graduation, will allow me to get rid of these torments. Unfortunately, the endless parties and the opportunity to do whatever I want turned out to be not as fabulous as I expected, ”Talia shares with the author. - After a few months of living in San Francisco, I began to experience loneliness and depression. Most of my friends are scattered around the country. the only close girlfriend, with whom we lived together, suddenly turned away from me. I spend my days looking through the job ads in the papers and going to Gym. I feel like I'm about to break. I can not sleep. I cry all the time. My mom thinks I need to be treated."
The cause of such torment for the girl, oddly enough, was Facebook, where Talia's peers post photos and stories about their successes in their careers and personal lives.
The desire to meet high standards and be “no worse than others” turns life into a nightmare, leads to depression and the loss of the necessary guidelines. There is a fierce rivalry between the participants of social networks.
“Most young people in their twenties are smart enough not to compare their lives with what they see on celebrity microblogs. However, they still perceive images and Facebook posts as something real. They don't understand that most people just hide their problems. Such self-deception makes users social networks constantly compare your social status with some higher standards. As a result, their not-so-perfect life looks like a failure against the background of that wonderful life, which the rest allegedly live.
Chapter five. Life on order. Understanding your desires, comparing them with the possibilities and, as a result, creating your own life scenario - this is the task that 20-30-year-olds have to solve.
The hero of this chapter has built a bicycle for himself and is proud of the result of his work. He enthusiastically tells how a unique, unique personal unit has turned out from standard components and parts. An individual project of a house, a wardrobe to order, a personal computer… Modern man tries to get away from standards and patterns, making life convenient and comfortable, fully meeting his interests. The same thing happens with life.
Career? The one that can combine talents, interests, the opportunity to realize oneself. And at the same time will bring financial well-being, sufficient to provide decent life to himself and his future children, and will not force grief to mumble from paycheck to payday.
To do this, you need to work on the script own life and do not put off this important task until later. And, what is more important and difficult, calmly, step by step, move along the chosen path.
“Choosing a career or getting a good job is not the end, but only the beginning. And then there is still a lot to learn and do.”
Part two. Love
"Most important decision which each of us accepts - with whom we marry. However, there are no life partner courses.”
Nowadays, young people are in no hurry to get married. They enjoy freedom, have fun with friends and lovers and do not want to commit themselves, sometimes perceiving living together as a test for marriage prospects, as a test of an adult life together. However, statistics show that couples who lived together before marriage are less happy later on and the divorce rate among them is much higher. Sociologists call this phenomenon the cohabitation effect. The transition from dates to joint nights, and then to permanent residence may turn out to be "sliding down a dangerous slope." On this path, there is no discussion of a common future, and, as a result, there is no responsibility for each other. The requirements for a cohabitant are much lower than those for a spouse. As a rule, the shortcomings of a partner are not noticed until marriage. And if such relationships end in marriage, then it is difficult to overcome the barrier between the carelessness of living together before and the huge responsibility after its conclusion.
20-30 years - it's time to think about choosing a partner and not be content with little, wasting time on nothing meaningful relationships. One should not wait thirty years to become more exacting in one's choice. You need to be discerning while you are still young.
All future life- health, leisure, work, money, raising children, retirement and even death - depends on this choice. IN recent decades increased average age marriage. However, late marriage does not guarantee the strength of the union. Adults have established habits and formed qualities. It is more difficult for them to adapt to each other. And relationships without commitment are sometimes destructive, forming bad habits and destroying faith in true love.
“A lot can change around us, but we start and end our lives with family” (the author quotes writer Anthony Brandt). A happy family gives a person a sense of confidence, security, stability. Together it is easier to cope with difficulties.
Part three. Mind and body
The final part of the book provides medical and psychological research, indicating that the human brain continues to form in 20-30 years. And these are new opportunities for self-development and learning. At this age, it is easy to manage circumstances and change yourself.
This is such a necessary and timely book that made me think about a lot. I have re-read many pages several times and will undoubtedly be among the first buyers of the publication - such a book should be had as a guide for in-depth study. Yes, and just as an experienced good friend, to whom at any time you can turn for help and get useful advice. After all, the problems of young people in different countries very similar.
There lived two teenagers in a small village.
When the children were still small, their mother died, and now their father. Like this
And there were two brothers left, two orphans alone. And they didn't have
No one in the whole white world.
The eldest of the brothers, who was sixteen, said to the youngest,
Thirteen: “Listen brother. We were left alone without a mother and father. So nothing
Wise they us and did not have time to teach. Come on, I'll go to people, study
Wisdom so that we know how to live then we go on. Until then, stay at home and
Wait for me".
"Good," replied younger brother"Just promise me to come home soon."
They said goodbye and the older brother left.
Days... months... years passed. And there was no news from the older brother. He
Everyone went from one village to another. From one city to another, learning
Wisdom in people. So in time he became a lonely old sage. And walked
From village to village, no longer learning from people, but teaching them. His people are
They called the Sage. Once the old wise man went down the road that led him to
Native village.
“Oh, is my brother still alive and where is he now?! - thought the sage - I wandered so much
On the ground, which I did not notice, how quickly time flew by ”- and with these thoughts
He approached home. Knocked on the gate, impatiently
Waiting for the owners. Someone quickly walked up to the gate and opened it. It was
A gray-haired man, in whose features the wanderer immediately recognized his brother. They
The joyful ones embraced each other and entered the yard together.
“Sit down brother on the bench. You can rest in the shade of this apple tree. drink fresh
Some water, fresh from the well. Taste the fruits from our garden. Now I will say
To my wife, that dear guests came before us, and she will cook something for us
Delicious...."
Suddenly, with a cheerful laugh, two amazing creatures ran out of the house: a boy
And a girl, five or six years old. They were arguing about something and ran to their grandfather,
To resolve their dispute. “Hey, guys, be polite. What do you have there
Has it happened?... Here a dear guest has come to us. Come closer
Get to know each other." The children approached a safe distance and began
Consider an unfamiliar grandfather. "This is my brother, about whom I tell you a lot
He told. So he finally returned home to teach me wisdom
Life,” said the grandfather pointedly. The children looked at him in admiration.
They were waiting for this new grandpa will finally begin to teach their mother tongue
Grandfather to all the wisdom of life. The girl began to rush him: “Come on,
Tell me quickly what main wisdom you have learned."
And the old sage began his story: “People say that a person should
Build a house, plant a tree and give birth to a son ... And to complete this
Supertasks, the Universe sends each person his own soul mate. To
To know it, you just need to open your heart. And listen only to your heart. AND
You will feel an amazing, unearthly feeling - love. And this means that
You found your soul mate, your goddess. And you want to create for your beloved
Paradise corner of love. You will start building a house and plant a garden with your own hands. A
She will help you in everything. Then you will have children - the fruits of your love
And you will educate them with love and wisdom. All your love and wisdom
multiplying in them. Then grandchildren will appear and you will love them even more
Wisdom. And when you are satisfied with life, joyful and peaceful you will return to
Heavenly abode, Home.
“Oh, how wise you have become, my brother. Why didn't you come home for so long?
I've been waiting for you for so long. I kept wanting to know how to live in wisdom. But I
I'm glad we're together again."
But then the boy intervened. "We have nothing new from you, sage,
We heard. What you have now told us, our grandfather has known for a long time, and
We even know. We live by this wisdom."
The sage looked at the children, then at his brother and answered: “You know, brother. A
The boy is right. While I wandered the world and learned the wisdom of life from strangers
People, you received this wisdom from God and brought it to life. What about my
Words?... Words without deeds are dead...”.
What is the meaning of this definition?
What is the meaning of human life?
What does it take to be happy? Have you tried answering these questions for yourself?
There is this definition: "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son."
And so many of us take it literally - create a family, raise children. They equip, inherited from their parents or grandparents, or actually build or buy a house or apartment for themselves. They start a dacha or a garden, where they plant and grow, and more than one tree. But, all the same, there are, and very often, unhappy.
What is building a house?
Home is a place where love, kindness, understanding, mercy, help, care, tenderness, joy, happiness live. Home is the entire space of your life. Home is your homeland. Home is everything that is sweet and dear to you, this is where you feel good.
You can also call yourself your home - a house or a temple for your soul. That is, first of all, each person must become a home for the soul. So that his soul blossomed and sang, and this song of the soul poured into the world, making it better.
What do we actually do - we build mansions for the body, we do European-style repairs, we buy expensive carpets, furniture, dishes. But this does not make our houses better - there is no warmth, no love. Yes, there is no time for the soul - sheer worries.
Something to think about, isn't it?
A - "to plant a tree"? What is meant by this? Of course, and a literal tree. Each of us must take care of nature. Must love and keep her. In his dacha or garden, everyone takes care of their seedlings and seedlings, their flowers and berries. He tries to water them, weed them, remove excess dirt during them. And in nature, when you go on a picnic or for mushrooms, fishing. How many of you clean up after yourself? How many of you put out the fires on which you cooked your barbecue? Our forests and parks, and just courtyard areas, have turned into a dump of garbage and dirt. And what is the use of the fact that in your country house everything shines with cleanliness, and there is garbage and dirt near your entrance or house?
But there is another meaning "to plant a tree". It is to enable the new generation to grow up and become the new tree of life, the Tree of Life. Your parents are the roots, you (family-spouses) are the trunk, your children are the branches, your grandchildren are the twigs, your great-grandchildren are the leaves. But, each branch and twig, each leaf must grow its own Tree. And so the family grove grows - the genus.
What is "create a family"? It's not easy to meet a person, fall in love, get married, give birth to a child, feed him, give him up for education first in a nursery, kindergarten, school, institute, etc. This is a very responsible work, and first of all, with yourself. Everyone must find those ways and compromises that will make communication in the family comfortable, calm and joyful, full of warmth and love. Everyone should try very hard to raise their children reasonable and kind.
What is really happening today? There are two young people who do not have the right morals in their relationship to each other, since all means mass media today they talk about free relationships, not about morality, but about immorality. Young people do not understand and do not know what love is. And there is a so-called falling in love, a sensual relationship. And, these two really want to escape from the custody of their parents, or one of the two thinks about their own benefit (money, apartment, etc.), or just this "last hope" start a family, or it just so happened that new person should appear soon. This is how it is created "family". And today it is even called "marriage".
Where is love? Where in the relationship to each other is trust, understanding, kindness, desire to help, tenderness. Usually they are not. There is either attachment (habit) or some kind of obligation (the same marriage contract), or "hold" Small children. But the attitude towards our children is purely everyday - to feed, clothe, educate in time, and the school, institute should be responsible for education, but not ourselves, we already spend a lot of money to provide our children with textbooks, a computer, clothes, food ; " so they don't need anything", or were "no worse than others."
Where is the love for the child? Not lisping and indulging whims, not excessive guardianship, but love?
Exactly mom and dad should be the first educators and teachers. It is mom and dad who should be the first comrades and friends.
Exactly mom and dad should show their child the world he came to. It is up to you to teach your child to love.
But how can you teach to love if you don't know how?
Love is a very deep feeling that needs to be balanced.. remember, that "from love to hate one step". Hatred comes from disappointment, from unfulfilled hopes.
And what did you yourself do to make all your hopes come true, to make your dream come true?
Love needs to be cultivated. Moreover, even just respect or deep affection can be grown to Great love. This I tell you for sure. I went through it myself.
But for this you need to really love yourself and see in your partner, first of all, a person who has something to love for.
This is the kind of love that stays on long years. It's like in fairy tales: "They lived happily ever after and died on the same day".
We must try not to change another person with our moral teachings, but to change ourselves. Understand what is important in life for you and for him. Find compromises, and such that both you and your other half are calm and comfortable. So that in your relationship there are no omissions and even small ones, but deceptions. And this is a job for two spouses.
The simplest thing is to say that he (she) does not want to change himself, that you are already doing so much for a calm family life that you are already tired of adjusting and giving in.
And so do many families. And, children in such families grow up the same - ignorant of happiness - there was no one to learn from.
Here's to you "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son".
It turns out that each of us must first educate himself. Understand yourself. Accept yourself. Learn to love, learn to give and receive love.
It's hard, but anyone can do it!
After all, this is why we came to this earth - to learn to love..
And I'm not talking about love as a relationship or feelings for another person, but about selfless, unconditional, boundless and pure love. This is love for yourself - as a temple of the soul, this is love for the world in which you live, this is love for the people who surround you, this is love for your roots - all your ancestors, this is love for God, as the Creator of everything and everyone, this is love for the person who is your soulmate, this is love for your children, the continuation of yourself, this is love for all living things and things.
But how do you learn to love?
Start changing yourself "Change yourself, and the world will change around you!"
It is not simple beautiful words. This is a rule that each of us must follow if we want to live in a better world.
